Shawn left. Lauren and I remained seated. I glanced around the cream-colored room, trying to find a clock. Some days it's easy for me to keep track of time. But other times I'm so preoccupied with other things that I forget about it. Being with a vampire, I tried to be aware of time more at night than ever before. I certainly didn't want Lauren to burst into flames because of some unexpected vitamin D.

As if Lauren had heard my thoughts, she said, "Do not fret. We have a few hours until the sun rises."

"Was I that obvious?"

"Yes, and I assure you, I will not burst into flames if I am not in bed when it does rise."

"What happens if you're not? Do you just die wherever you're standing?" I sounded harsh, but couldn't think of any other way to put it. I wanted to know, so I asked.

She watched me for several moments. "No. I wouldn't just stand there."

"You'd flee?"

"More or less."

I stood. "I need to shower and to put my things away." I didn't want to talk about death anymore tonight. Even if my girlfriend technically personified it.

Lauren moved gracefully across the room, picking up my laptop bag and swinging it over her shoulder. I grabbed the backpack, tossing one of the straps over my left shoulder.

She waited in the doorway, watching me with a blank yet thoughtful expression that I couldn't decipher.

"What?" I asked as I walked by.

"Is it so wrong to enjoy watching you?"

"No. I just don't understand it."

We made it to the basement on the other side of the house and through the large steel door into the underground lounge. As always, I had to wait a few seconds for my vision to readjust to the light.

Lauren led me through the labyrinth of hallways, then opened the double doors at the end of one hallway. Her bedroom was about the size of most living rooms. The king-size canopy bed, placed a foot or two from the wall, was draped with black and burgundy silks. I never knew what colors would decorate it. Unlike mine, Lauren's bedding changed a couple of times a week. My bed doesn't see enough action to warrant such frequent upkeep.

On the other side of the room was a sitting area, with a black sofa pressed against the farthest wall near a matching armchair. The sofa's back curved in almost a heart shape. Its arms were wide and curling, and on the inside of the curl was a spiral of light gray. The sofa stood on four black-clawed feet.

Once a beautiful painting of the night sky hung on the wall behind the armchair, but now it was gone. The painting had been from the perspective of someone standing on a cliff, gazing at the deep waters of the ocean, with the horned crescent moon high overhead, reflecting off the water. The picture was shattered the first night I had stayed with Lauren. I learned not to play touchy-feely with the vampire before she died at dawn. I had noticed the pain buried deep in her eyes and tried to distract her from it. The distraction cost both of us, because when she woke, the hunger she had felt before dying channeled into blood lust. Let's just say, it wasn't pretty.

The picture didn't survive. I'd have offered to replace it if it hadn't been one of a kind.

Lauren placed the laptop in the armchair while I let the backpack slide down my arm and onto the couch.

"I will start the water," she said.

She disappeared into the bathroom, and a moment later I heard it running. Bath? I walked quietly into the huge room.

Lauren sat on the edge of the tub.

"I thought you were starting the shower?" I narrowed my eyes.

"The shower is too large."

"So? What's your point?"

Lauren tilted her head to one side. "I shall be tempted to join you."

I closed my eyes and focused on breathing. "You just had to put that image in my head, didn't you?"

I heard the water shut off before I felt the weight of her presence in front of me. "That look on your face," she said, voice low, "hearing the way the breath catches in your throat, listening to your heart as it skips a beat. Such intimacy pleases me greatly."

The word
intimacy
made my body tighten and the breath actually catch in my throat.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want to know you want me."

"Can't you see I do?"

I heard her move around me, her energy like a gentle breeze, cool and untouchable.

Her whisper echoed. "Camila, I want you to succumb to your desire." She didn't try to hide her spanish pronunciation, lilting the words in places I couldn't imitate. Then again, I'd never been very good at accents.

Lauren didn't accentuate her words harshly. Her smooth intonation was soft and purring, delectable and soothing at the same time, like silk and chocolate.

I inhaled a shallow breath. "You want me to lose control for you?"

"No, I want you to consent to succumb to your desires."

I turned and looked at her then. "I won't."

"You will not allow yourself to succumb because you are afraid," she said with an unblinking stare.

I nodded and stared at the floor, not entirely thrilled that she was right. I hate admitting that I'm afraid more than I hate actually being afraid.

Lauren touched my jaw gently with two fingers, lifting my gaze back to hers. It reminded me of when we first met, only this time she wasn't trying to help me control my beast.

"You have been hurt," she said, "as have we all. I want you to lose your fear, to lose your control, to lose the distance you place between us. I want you to stop running from me."

"I'm not running. I'm still standing here, aren't I? If I was running, I wouldn't be in this relationship."

"No, you are not running in a physical sense, but you have placed chains and shackles around your heart, trying to keep it safely in a cage, trying to force it to behave." Lauren placed a finger over my lips, and I frowned. "You gave yourself to Dinah, you allowed your wolf to rule your head in a moment of passion, because she was not a threat to your heart. You were able to distance yourself, to give your body to her, to have that release with her, because somewhere in the depths of your mind you knew Dinah would not scratch below the surface."

I had been thinking practically the same thing after Dinah and I were together. In truth, I hadn't done anything to her. I had tried to walk away, but she persisted. I had submitted to the energy of our beasts.

Lauren knew afterward that our encounter had been casual. Dinah and I were friends. She still flirted with me every now and then, but when she saw Lauren's anger after that one incident she didn't cross any lines. Fine with me. Dinah was pretty, but we were better as friends than lovers. Besides, I had my hands full with the vampire in front of me. I didn't need a werewolf too. I'm not greedy, nor do I need that much difficulty and drama.

"What are you thinking?" Lauren asked.

"I agree with what you just said." I didn't continue. It'd be too uncomfortable to admit the truth aloud. Lauren already knew what had happened. I didn't need to say it.

"I have brought you to the brink," Lauren said, "but every time you reach that point you back away a little more and pretend nothing has happened."

Was I backing away? I felt like she was luring me into her intricate web. Then again, what we force ourselves to see and what's really there can often be two different things. The authority I'd worked so hard to exert over the beast was the same mastery I was trying to exert over my heart.

"I lost control for you once," I told her.
"You could've taken me then."

"I desired you, not the beast that was riding you," she said coldly.

"In that moment, Lauren," my voice was breathy, "I wanted you, more than I'd ever wanted anyone, more than Dinah. I can't even begin to describe the things I craved for you to do to me. How can you say I'm the one running away from what happened earlier? I forgot about everything, everything but you—your mouth, your hands, your body." Just admitting it out loud made my stomach flutter uncontrollably.

A dark look slid through her eyes before she closed them. "Camz, I desire more than just your body."

I unbuttoned the leather jacket, letting it fall to the floor. The Mark III and shoulder holster were in plain view. Lauren's eyes flew open, then flicked from my face to the gun.

"If that's what you want," I stepped closer, "then take it, but stop analyzing the situation. When you analyze, when you talk instead of act, you give me time to think, and when you give me time to think, you give me time to distance myself."

I heard her sharp intake of breath and suddenly understood why she enjoyed listening to the breath catch in my throat. I watched as her chest rose and fell. The undead don't have to breathe to survive. I knew she had taken that breath for my benefit. Her gaze filled with an otherworldly light. Her eyes that had been smoky green were suddenly emerald silver.

"I should have known," she said softly, but before I could ask what she should've known she grabbed me. Her arms snaked around my back. She kissed me as deeply, and as passionately, as she had earlier. With her body against mine, with her tongue filling my mouth, all thoughts washed away like words written in sand. Her hands slid down the arch of my spine, over the slight swell of my ass.

A moment later I felt her nails through my jeans and the pain made me moan. In one fluid motion Lauren picked me up. I wrapped my legs around her thin frame, burying my hands in her long silken hair, crushing the curls with my fists. Lauren didn't break the kiss when she carried me into the bedroom.