Warning: This chapter contains adult themes and sexual situations.

The years went by, until Pip was close to his eighteenth birthday, and had been working in the palace kitchens for seven years. He had by now been promoted to Scullion First Class, with an annual wage of nine gold coins and nine silver coins, and slept in a dormitory with the other scullions. 

It had the same cream paint and pale green linen as the room he had shared with Granny Bennett, except that it was dirtier, smellier, and more scuffed. Staff were expected to keep their own rooms clean and tidy, and Pip was the only one who made any effort.

Pip had never managed to make a real friend in the kitchens, although he was on friendly terms with most. Perhaps it was his unconscious air of not belonging there that held people back, or his flights of fancy that made him love poetry and art, or his faint aura of tragedy, despite his naturally sunny nature. 

Pip's lips smiled often, but in the depths of his blue eyes were dark shadows made of loss, heartbreak, and the theft of his dreams. He sought out animals for friendship, like the mice which inhabited the kitchen, his favourite of which was a white mouse named Gilbert.

Pip had never forgotten Rue, despite not seeing him again. His childish fantasies of being allowed to sleep at the foot of Rue's bed became gradually more mature, until he and Rue were sharing the same bed, their bodies wrapped around each other all night. Pip was not innocent about what people did in bed together - life in the kitchens had taught him that much, at least.

One night a couple of years ago the snoring of his bunk mate Jayesh became so bad that he had gone to the common room that the scullions shared with the kitchen wenches in order to get some peace and quiet. He had found the lamp turned down low, and two wenches named Ursula and Viviane lying on a sofa together, kissing passionately. They looked up to see Pip hesitating in the doorway, unable to either back out or tear his eyes away.

"Come and join us," said Viviane with a teasing smile, patting the sofa.

Pip gave a shy shake of his head, though tempted, for Ursula and Viviane were pretty, but he remained faithful to the advice Granny Bennett had given him, to keep himself for his true love.

''We care not, Pipsqueak. We can please each other well enough," said fair Ursula, returning to kissing dark-haired Viviane.

Viviane and Ursula didn't tell Pip to go away, so he edged himself into the room and kept watching until a scullion named Freddy came in, and was likewise invited to join the wenches. He enthusiastically assented, and Pip soon got a fairly good idea what people might choose to do together. He lay on the sofa opposite, his eyes wide open, and his hand between his legs.

After that, Pip kept out of the common room at night, but one way or another, he saw enough around the castle to understand physical desire. For that matter, he saw enough between his fellow scullions in the dormitory to get more than an inkling, so his fantasies about Rue were reasonably well-informed.

There were times that he ached for Rue, and many times that he told himself he was a fool to keep himself for someone he barely knew, who didn't even exist, according to everyone else.

Yet still he ached, and still he continued to heed the advice of Granny Bennett.

**********************

There was an excited buzz around the castle, for it had been announced that Crown Prince Bernard of Lindensea was returning from abroad after many years spent in foreign climes, and there would be a parade through the city to welcome him home. Furthermore, the prince would be accompanied by an honoured guest, his Russian third cousin Dorothea of Bjarma, and rumour had it that Princess Dorothea was to be his future bride.

Palace staff were permitted to attend the parade when their work schedule allowed it. Pip was given half an hour off, and he made his way to the west lawn on Castle Hill, as this would give a good view of the royal carriage approaching the palace.

"Pip!" called a sturdy woman with masses of red curls, madly waving a flag to get his attention. "Hie! Over here."

It was Brigid, a seamstress at the palace he knew quite well, and who had several times helped him out when he was sewing his own clothes. He grinned and raised his hand, walking up the hill until he was beside her.

''Hello, Pip," Brigid said, a huge smile on her freckled face. "You remember my friend Sunniva."

Pip didn't recall the woman with flaxen braids next to Brigid, but he smiled and nodded as Sunniva said, "Nice to see you again, Pip. It's a lovely day for the parade, isn't it?"

He could wholeheartedly agree with that. There was a chill in the air from the brisk wind, but the day was bright and sunny, and the lawn scattered with white daisies. Brigid and Sunniva were looking forward to the royal arrival with unalloyed pleasure, brandishing their flags in unison, and giving a running commentary on everything they saw, from the soldiers in their scarlet coats to the crowds lining the procession route.

"They're here, look!" Brigid said breathlessly.

An open carriage was being pulled by two white horse down Bridge Street. Pip peered at it carefully, but it only contained two ladies in smart travelling dresses.

''That's the princess in the carriage," said Sunniva knowledgeably. ''She's not very pretty, is she?"

''No, and so sour and miserable looking," said Brigid, rather disappointed. ''She should be happy she's getting to marry the heir to a lovely kingdom like Lindensea."

Pip thought Princess Dorothea was very stylish, with her chestnut brown hair swept into an elegant bun, and spectacles giving her a studious air, but she was by no means in the first flush of youth, and her aristocratic face was frozen into almost too obvious misery.

''Oh well, that's Russians, isn't it?" said Sunniva tolerantly. ''They always look serious. I've heard she's very intellectual. Can speak dozens of languages, and reads hundreds of books a year."

''Well, I'd prefer a wife that smiled a bit, myself," said Brigid. ''Wouldn't you, Pip?"

Pip agreed that a smiling face is a nice thing to have in a spouse, before asking who the other lady in the carriage was.

''I think that's her head lady-in-waiting, Lady Sybil Something-or-Other," said Sunniva. Lady Sybil was holding the princess' elbow, and seemed to be trying to put some cheer into her.

''She's pretty," said Brigid. ''And she's smiling as well. It's a shame the prince can't marry her instead."

''Where's the prince?" asked Pip. ''I've never seen him before, except in pictures."

''Really? Well, he's been gone for years," said Brigid. ''I haven't seen him since he was a boy."

''That's him," said the eagle-eyed Sunniva. ''He's on a great white charger, riding a little way behind the carriage. He's waving to the people, and smiling. He looks glad to be home."

Pip craned his neck to see who Sunniva meant, and then he stood there with his mouth hanging open. The man on the white horse was Rue. He was taller, broader, and older, and he'd grown a moustache, but it was definitely Rue.

The carriage swept through the palace gates, stopping for a moment to make an offering at the Wintertide Temple in Black Swan Court, and then the prince rode beside the carriage, speaking to Princess Dorothea in an intimate, and possibly soothing, sort of way. The princess looked slightly less miserable, but still did not smile.

There was then a rather touching reunion, as Princess Alice came forward to greet her brother, who she hadn't seen since she was a child. The Princess Royal was now a tall, willowy young lady of seventeen, and betrothed to her first cousin, the heir to the throne of Castile. The prince and his sister embraced affectionately, then walked hand in hand like two children into the palace, followed by Princess Dorothea and Lady Sybil.

There was a short military demonstration in the castle forecourt, the soldiers performing their exercises under the barking orders of the Captain of the Guard, before a cannon was fired in salute. Then the royal family appeared on the balcony with their guest to wave to the people, King Peter making a point of standing up for the entire time.

''Isn't Princess Alice a beauty?" said Brigid admiringly. ''She's got hair like spun gold, and that blue dress she has on is so stylish, with the little cape over her shoulders. I heard it's from Paris."

''She went through a very awkward stage for a while, all gangly legs and big clumsy hands and feet, but she looks lovely now," said Sunniva.

If Pip had not been there, she would have said that the princess had finally developed a modest bust, which made her dresses more flattering, but she didn't think it right to discuss busts in the company of a young man.

''So we finally have a beautiful princess, and now Castile's going to get her, while we end up with this sulky Russian one," complained Brigid.

''I'm sure she'll cheer up in time, the prince seems very attentive to her," said Sunniva comfortably. ''But we'd better get back to work, Brigid. We've got so much mending to get through."

''How about you, Pip?" asked Brigid, then she looked at him more closely. ''Pip? You're very pale. Are you sure you're alright? You don't look at all well."

**********************

Pip now knew that he had no chance of ever talking to ''Rue" again, and that people had been right: he didn't exist. It had just been the prince, having a joke by giving himself a false name, and openly insulting himself so he could laugh about it later. It was something a young prince would find amusing, never thinking how his behaviour could have affected a sensitive child.

Pip berated himself for being a fool, pining after someone he didn't even know, someone he had spent maybe an hour with, at most. He felt unaccountably depressed, as if he had lost something precious, when in fact he had never had anything at all. He did not realise that he had lost one of the most precious things of all - hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LINDENSEA LORE

BJARMA, a vassal kingdom of the Russian Empire, swearing fealty to the emperor in exchange for protection. It is far to the north on the Polar Sea, with freezing temperatures, covered in ice and snow for much of the year. Bjarma was settled more than a thousand years ago by Norsemen, with their chieftain Ottar the Fierce becoming the first king. Ottar founded the rich and populous city of Halog beside the River Vara, most famous for its magnificent Rainbow Temple, dedicated to the goddess of the Northern Lights. The kingdom's principal allies and trading partners are Norway, Denmark, Germany, Hungary, and Bohemia.

From The Camden Times Gazetteer of the World, published by Excelsior Books