Oh god, I am tired and sit on the table near the bar. but I sense there is someone who is watching me but I ignore It.trishul abhi bhi nach raha tha .Maine kabhi bhi usko itna khush nahi dekha .

(The Trishul is still dancing...I've never seen him so happy...)after some time ,trishul thak ke mere paas aake beth gaya .maine use kaha chale ab ghar uspe wo man gaya aur hum waha se bahar nikal aa gaye.usne bujhe ghar chod diya aur wo phir ghar chala gaya. 

 (I told him to go home and he agreed and we came out of the pub. He left me home and he went home .)

 main ghar ke andar aagayi .Kitchen main gayi ek glass pani piya then apne room ke taraf chali gayi .uski baad main fresh ho gayi aur apne kapde change kiye in PJ 

.(I entered the house. I went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water and went to my room to change into my PJ.) 

Chaand ko dekh ke main soch rahi thi kab Das saal ho gaye pata nahi chala ,kab ek anath ladki apne maa baap dundh rahi aur kaha main ek officer jo mujrimoko dhundti hai .par itne saalo baad aisa laga ki wo yahi kahi hai ,aisa laga jo ehsaas mein nahi mehsoos karna chahtiwo mujhe phirse hone laga .main nahi chahti wo mere zindagi mein wapas aaye,bahut mushkil se meri zindagi track pe aayi hai hai .

(Looking at the moon, I was wondering when it had been Ten years ,When an orphan girl was looking for her parents and now I was an officer looking for a criminal But after so many years, it felt like he was here, watching me from far away, it felt like he wanted me back. I didn't want him back in my life because my life has been on track with great difficulty...) 

 Pata nahi mere hi saat aisa kyu hota hai jab mujhe maa baap chahiye the unhone mujhe chod diya phir bhi maine haar nahi manhi unhe dundhne ki,but jab wo mere zindagi mein aaya mujhe laga ab toh meri zindagi sudhregi but nahi usse toh sirf apna shayad dil behlana tha ya phir main hi naasamjh thi ki uske intention nahi samjh aa gaye. ek bholi bhali ladki se ek pathar dil ladki kaise bani samjh hi nahi aaya .

(I don 't know why my parents wanted me to leave, but I didn't give up looking for them,But when he came into my life, I thought that now you will improve my life but no, he just wanted to mingle his heart with me or I didn't understand his intentions. I didn't understand how a naive girl became a stone hearted girl.)

 Mujhe bas ek hi sawaal hai shiv ji aapse ,agar har chiz chinni hi ti toh mujhe wo diye kyu,maa-baap diye par unhe chinn liya ,jab wo aaya toh mujhe laga ki ab nahi chinno ge but maine galat socha apne usse bhi chinn liya,mujhe samjh nahi aata mujhe koi apni zindagi main chahta kyu nahi ,kya main itni buri hoo.

(I have only one question for you ,If you had to take everything from me,then you wouldn't have given it to me,you give me my parents , but you snatched it from me too ,When he came, I thought you would not snatch him from me anymore but I thought wrong, you snatched him too ,I don't know why no one wants me in their life ,Am I that bad?) 

 sab ko lagta hai main pathar dil hoo,jo sirf apni ego ko pahle rakh thi hai ,gusse wali hai .par main unhe bhi dosh nahi de sakti ,jab apno ne hi chodh diya toh anjaaon ko kya bolna .haaye kya main ye dukhi atma katha leke beth gayi yaar .channd ji aap bhi bor hotte honge na meri bak bak se.aap hi toh jo sabkuch chupchap sunte ho meri bakwaas .chalo goodnight apko chaand ji 

.(Everyone thinks I'm a stone pelter, who just put my Ego first, always angry... but I can't blame them either, when your family have given up on me , what to expect from strangers. this sad autobiography by me. Chand ji you will also be bored or from my rant na. You are the one who listens to everything silently, my bucks. Let goodnight give you Chand ji..) 

 main sone hi ja rahi thi ki mera locket jispe R likha hua hai wo khidki pe atak gaya .maine uss locket ke taraf dekha aur mujhe yaad aaya ki kaise usne jabardasti se mujhe pehnaya tha promise leke ki "tum isse kabhi nahi utarogi ,samjhi ," aisa bol ke wo chala gaya but ye locket utarne ki himmat mere gale se kabhi nahi hui ,pata nahi kyu.

(I was going to sleep that my locket R was stuck on the window. I looked at it towards the locket and I remembered how he forced me to wear it and said ,"You'll never get this locket off , okay,Understood" ,He left by saying this but I never had the courage to take off the locket ,I don't know why.)I went to sleep .from on on I will not think in deep because from tomorrow , again I'm on my duty to find criminal or what not.this is my life now

To Be continued....................... 

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