"Name: moonpelt

Meh. Moon- is  overused and cliché, but eh, it's a suffix so it can be a prefix. -pelt is okay, not as used as -fur, but maybe Moonstream or Moondapple could work.

Gender: she-cat

K

Age: 20 moons

Little young to be deputy, if you ask me. Maybe make her 25+ moons at the least.

Rank: deputy

👌 noice. Most people are leaders, not deputies. Very original.

Appearance: a silver tabby she cat with a creamy white chest, paws, underbelly, tip of tail, and tip of ears with one light blue eye and one light green eye

Oooh dear lord. First off, silver is oversued. Instead, maybe use a pale gray or smokey gray. I like the creamy white, good, good. A big no no on the eyes. Both colors are overused. Maybe if you want, try hybrid eyes. They are two colors but on the same eye. Maybe yellowish green and a warm amber?

Personality: nice, caring, kind, helpful, smart, agile, can be a little clumsy, peaceful, and calm

I see no flaws. Maybe careless, sharp witted, bossy, rude, or arrogent?

Father: wolftalon
Mother: lilystem
Sisters: silvermoon, nightwish, riverstem, and stemwish
Mate: whiteriver
Kits: riverjump, silvertail, moonfoot, tallpaw, and longheart
Cute names.

Clan: moonclan
Why is she Moonpelt in MoonClan? That makes no sense. It's aginst the rules.

Backstory: moonpelt was born in wolfclan, her mom lived in moonclan so moonkit (at the time) snuck out of camp and went to moonclan, her mom was very surprised, because her sisters weren't there. When moonpelt was an apprentice her sisters came over to moonclan, then there was a forest fire and moonpelt's sister, tallpaw died, moonpaw would have died if it weren't for, a rouge named berry and a kittypet named rainbow, rainbow and berry north wanted clan live and so the leader let them in for saving moonpaw, rainbow became rainpaw and berry became berrypaw. Soon rainpaw, berrypaw and moonpaw all became warriors, rainpaw became raindrop (because she was like a raindrop that save the clans from fire) and berryfire ( for saving moonpaw also) moonpaw became moonpelt and she soon after that be mad deputy, she died on her way to the moonstones by a band of rouges, which was where berry game from.

Very vauge. First off, where do Whiteriver and the kits come in? Why is Wolftalon a Wolf- in WolfClan? Is she a forbidden relationship spawn? Also, I like how she didn't become leader. That'd cool.

Overall score, I'd give her a 6.5/10. Just fix those mistakes like adding some flaws and you're good!