Raph, I'm afraid you may have a brain tumor…"

Raphael, the hot-tempered, red masked turtle stared at his genius brother in front of him, who looked at him with eyes so careful and scared, almost as if he was afraid Raphael would break into thousands pieces by his gaze. Raph, on the other hand, didn't seem to care. His brain was busy with repeating the sentence over and over again in his head.

Brain tumor…

He didn't like those two words together; no one likes words that can be connected with the word cancer. But he particularly didn't like it right now, because his brother just suggested that this fretful, damned sickness was implanted in his brain. His brain! He wanted to shake his head, to scream to his brother that he was wrong; he just had messed up the whole thing! It was only a headache, nothing more. Nothing like cancer, nothing so deadly, nothing so… scary.

Raph closed his eyes for a moment, trying to figure out where something went wrong. He's had a headache for a couple of weeks, now, and when he had told Donnie about how he had trouble forming words, his brother had admitted that his speech had sounded a bit slurred for the past week. But that was nothing bad, right? He had always talked a bit slurred, being the only brother who adopted a Brooklyn accent.

But then his brother wanted to perform a little test; "Nothing dangerous" had he said. Of course Raph had trusted him, doing such a small and ridiculous thing as counting from 10 and back was nothing special. Raph hadn't noticed how he kept jumping over the number five, no matter how many times he counted out loud for Donnie. His brother had actually begged him the last time he did it to "do it right", not that Raph knew what he meant, since he wasn't registering the lost number.

After that the genius had done more tests, all too complicated for Raph to explain or name. He just know that it had ended up with his brother sitting in front of him with that look in his face, the look of being so scared and desperate, and spilling the news for his brother. The news of a bulk in his head that only grew, reaching out and grasping for Raph's most precious possession; his life.

"… I can't tell anything without further examination of course. It may be nothing serious as well but if I'm right then…"

Raph held up a hand to quiet Don down, and the purple masked turtle immediately responded to the gesture. There was a silence for a couple of seconds, when both of the turtles just listened closely to each others' breathing. Then the sick one managed to moister his lips with his tongue and looked over at his brother.

"H-how long?" He croaked out, breaking Don's heart by trying to suppress the frightening shivering in his voice, without succeeding. "How long do I have left? U-until I die?"

"I don't know." Don sighed and shook his head slightly, his eyes never leaving his brother.

He was scared, scared of what could happen within the next following seconds. Would he cramp, have a seizure? Or was the brain tumor only seconds away from taking his life? A shiver ran down the turtle's body, making him clench his fists in a try to remain calm and strong,

"It may not even be dangerous; it can just be a harmless tumor, no cancer. I can't tell anything without the right equipment… I would have to get a CT-x-ray and, after locating the tumor, I would have to- Raph!"

Raphael had suddenly moved from the chair with the speed only a ninja could achieve, dashing out from the lab. Just seconds later the door to the lair slammed shut as the turtle left their home.

"Don! What happened?" Leo's voice snapped Don's attention away as he and Mikey poked their heads into his lab, looking at their brother with confused expressions, "Raph seemed upset, what happened?"

Don looked at them, trying hard not to break down as he took a few, deep breaths. He gestured to the empty chair that Raph just until recently had been placed on,

"Can you get father? You may all want to sit down and listen to this…"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Raph ran… He didn't know where he should go; he just wanted to get away from the lab, from Don, Leo and Mikey, from their father, from the lair, from the cancer… He would outrun it, he would never let it catch him, he would never allow it.

A sudden pain in his chest almost made him choke and it took a while for him to realize he was crying. Hot, salty tears ran down his cheek and sobs escaped him between his breaths. He had never run from a fight before, no, it just wasn't him. He always stayed and fought until the end, or until Leo dragged him away. But now he didn't see any other choice than running, because how could he fight something as powerful as cancer?

"Get out of my head… get out of my head… get out of my head…" Raph started mumbling as he made his way through the tunnels of the sewer, his head throbbing in an angry headache that just kept reminding him of his situation, "I don't want you here, get out of my head!"

The cancer was going to rob him of his life, he was sure of it. Don may say that there's the chance of a harmless tumor, but Raph could hardly believe it. It was his old, always trustful turtle-luck playing a joke on him, an utterly frightening joke.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"C-cancer?" Mikey stared at Don with eyes that clearly spoke the disbelief he felt.

It had taken the purple masked turtle fifteen minutes to inform the rest of the family about the situation Raph was in. He explained in detail the process their brother's examination, and how he came to the conclusion that it was a brain tumor.

Just like Don had anticipated, no one seemed to buy it at first. But after a few minutes of taking in all the information, their faces had changed. Leo and Mikey stared at him with a look of utter shock, and Don had never seen his father so fragile before.

"Are you r-really sure?" The youngest one asked, leaning closer to Don as if begging him to tell them it was a joke.

"No…" Don sighed; his younger brother had taken it a lot worse than he had expected. He knew Raph and Mikey were close, they had always been so, but to see his younger brother with those large eyes that threatened to let tears stream down any minute, his body almost shivering, and not to mention the paleness that had crept over Mikey's face during these minutes, almost as if he was about to faint at any minute...It was a hard sight to see.

"I'm not sure, Mikey," Don went on, "I can't be sure until I can get a proper x-ray of him. But I can't really build a CT-x-ray machine; it's too complicated and needs parts that I can't find in the junkyard."

"Is there nothing else you can do, my son?" The old rat, who suddenly looked so very old, stared at his son. Don sighed again as he started to scratch his neck.

"The only option left is to do surgery blindly." Don shook his head and groaned, "It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack, while it's dark! I can only guess the tumor's location, and then pray to god that it's there. And even if I chose to go in and remove the tumor, it's still critical. He would need radiotherapy, something I can't offer him, or cytotoxic. And I can't just give him any kind of cytotoxic: Different kinds of cancer respond to different medicine. And if I would be able to classify which kind of cancer it is, what kind of medicine he needs, that wouldn't help. Last I checked, they don't sell cytotoxic to anyone at the local pharmacy."

"Can't we just steal some? We're ninjas!"

"Mikey!" Leo looked at his younger brother sternly. Mikey started to twist and turn on his chair, but he looked determined.

"What, Leo? It's our brother: He may be dying! I'm not going to obey the code of the ninja if it's about life or death, I can tell you that!" Mikey crossed his arms but was sure not to look his father in the eye. But Splinter remained silent, his mind far off, distant eyes lost in concern for his sick son.

"I'm going to have to agree with Mikey here," Said Donatello, without realizing that his brother was now distracted with other thoughts "I don't want-"

Don was cut off in the middle of the sentence when Leo resurfaced from his thoughts with the subject that was bothering him; something that his genius brother had said only minutes before, "Wait a minute, Donatello! Earlier, when you were telling us about the surgery...You said 'If you chose to perform it'… You won't do surgery on him?"

Now it was Don's turn to twist and turn in his chair, as three pair of eyes pierced him, the leader's question managing to snap their father out of his thoughts.

"I… I don't know if I would dare to…" The purple masked turtle barely managed to get his words out. He spoke carefully, and he didn't dare to look anyone in the eyes, "I mean, this isn't like fixing a broken bone. I can even do surgery to take away small bone pieces, no problem. But we're talking about something completely different, here; we're talking about the brain."

He took a lasting breath before he looked up at his brothers and father, "The brain is a fragile thing, it's overfilled with nerves so just a slight cut—just a small nick in the wrong place—can completely change Raph. And who knows how our brains look, we were turtles from the start, but the mutation may have changed our brains into some kind of hybrid between a human brain and a turtle's brain. Which parts are still as a turtles and which are as a human? I… I… I could break him, I could make him loose his sight, or…I could kill him. It's a big risk, and I'm not educated in this kind of stuff!"

"Neither are you "educated" in fixing broken bones!" Leo responded, looking grimly at his younger brother. He let out a sigh that smoothed his features, and went on, "Look, Donnie, I know you're just scared. So were you the first time you fixed Mikey's broken arm; afraid it wouldn't heal properly. But you kept on researching, it did heal properly, and nowadays a broken arm is just another routine."

The leader shrugged his shoulders before he slowly leaned forward to put a hand on Don's shoulder, "Look, Donnie, I don't want to force you into doing something you don't want to do. But it's our brother; are we just gonna let him die without trying anything?"

Don looked deeply into his brother's brown eyes before he slowly turned to face Mikey. His little brother was quiet, so quiet, and only stared at him with those big, blue eyes that practically screamed at him; "Please, don't let my brother die."

Lastly, the genius set his eyes on his father and it felt like the whole world suddenly landed on his shoulders. His father wore that neutral expression that tried to urge him to make this decision himself, but at the same time, Don could so plainly read the sadness in him, and the concern for Raph's wellbeing. Could Don really deny his father like this? Deny one of his sons the chance to live?

"O… Okay, I'll do it." He whispered, feeling the relief take place in his three family members. But the feeling never made it into his own heart…

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The stars looked down on him, from their places up in the dark sky. For some reason it felt like they were teasing him, telling him what beauty he was going to miss when death gripped his mind and dragged him away from this world. A small groan slipped through his lips as his head started to throb, and he closed his eyes for a second, only feeling the environment.

The cold, October wind made his bones shiver, and he could clearly hear the sound of the city around him as he laid on one of the roof-tops of Manhattan, the sound of the city's beating heart. Raph slowly opened his eyes again, looking up at the cloud-free sky, where a thousand stars glistened.

Beautiful, he had never thought of it before, but it was absolutely beautiful. It didn't matter that he had no idea where he was at the moment, that he had kept running and running until his legs gave way, but he felt at peace right now.

Cancer… Maybe this was what he deserved? A snicker slipped past his lips, he couldn't help it. After all, he had always thought Don would be the one ending up with a brain tumor, seeing how he was always around that computer, and all those gadgets that apparently let out dangerous radiation and fumes. Yet, here he is; a bulk in his head that may or may not bear the dangerous illness known as cancer.

Maybe it really was what he deserved.

"It took me ages to find ya!"

Raph tilted his head to his right to see Casey climb up the fire escape ladder, his smile wide and goofy, as always.

"Yo, Case…" Raph sighed and tilted his head back so he could face the starry sky above him, following a plane that moved over the dark area. He could feel Casey place himself next to him, and, too, turn his gaze up toward the stars.

"Sooo… Cancer uh?" The man's voice soon voiced the question that Raph knew would come; sooner or later everyone would know it. Raph only nodded slightly as an answer.

"Maybe, don't know that yet… Who told ya?" He asked, even though the question had a pretty obviously answer.

"Leo called, he told me to go and fetch ya." Casey answered, stretching out his arms high above his head to help the muscles relax, "He could have least told me where ya were, havin' that GPS tracker on your phone is much easier than ridin' around like a madman on the bike all over half the town." A laugh escaped the man's lips again, but Raph didn't respond to it more than another slight nod of his head.

"Why couldn't he fetch me? I bet he's freakin' out down in the lair."

"I guess he knows what ya need in the moment." Casey said. Raph snorted as an answer, "Raph, don't be like that. You know, this just doesn't affect you."

The turtle looked over quickly to Casey, silently asking what he meant, but the human continued talking without explanation, "I know I ain't a doctor or nuthin', but I'm sure everythin' will be alright. Don will sort things out! Everythin' will be fine!"

Raph tilted his head to his left to see Casey staring at him, his eyes strong, but a slight tone of worry and concern rested deep inside of them.

"We don't know that Case…" Raph sighed. He didn't even had the strength to get upset, anymore. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, tilting his head back to the face the stars, "Everyone will keep tellin' me everythin' will be fine, even I've started tellin' myself that. But I can't be sure… It may be freakin' cancer, and you just don't walk away from it without sufferin'. And we're turtles, it's not like I can walk into a hospital expecting 'em to take care of me...Even Donnie has his limits of what he can do and not do."

Raph trailed off and just stared at the stars, Casey following his example. After a minute of that silence, in which so many emotions were shared between the two friends, Raph took another breath,

"And even though I know all this stuff, I still don't wanna die. Weird?"

"Nope…" Said Casey. He reached out and laid a hand on Raph's head, "…'cause no one else wants you to die."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Raph!"

The turtle in question looked up as he entered the lair, seeing Leo come towards him with a worried look on his face. Behind him, Raph could see Mikey look over from his position on the couch, his blue eyes glued to the sight of his brother, and the red-masked turtle could so clearly read every emotion in him.

He had been gone for hours, he knew that, but being out with Casey felt like it was just what he had needed. They had just lied there on the roof for hours, talking about everything and nothing. When his headache had gotten worse, Casey had given him a ride home, and now he felt tired as he walked through the door. And, of course Leo was there, ready to nag on him.

"How are you feeling! Can we get you anything? Aspirin? Maybe you're hungry?"

"Leo…" Raph groaned loudly, which silenced the older turtle. "I'm fine; I just have a headache and I'm kind of tired, right now. Just some rest would be fine."

"Yes, of course." The leader said and nodded, "Of course… Just go and rest, don't worry Donnie will fix you up."

"Of course he will." Raph mumbled and rolled his eyes. Had the leader expected something else? Don was the only medic around here, the only one who could even try and fix this.

"I mean, he was unwilling at the start but-"

"What do you mean by unwilling?" Raph cut Leo off in the middle of his sentence by glancing at him with a confused look, furrowing his brows.

Leo sighed loudly and shrugged his shoulders, "You know how Don is; he's worried he'll do something wrong. I mean, I can understand where he's coming from, but I managed to talk him into changing his mind."

Raph wanted to loudly groan that, "I'm sure you did," but decided to be quiet, instead.

He suddenly realized what Casey had meant when he said that this didn't just affect him, but those around him, also. He hadn't thought about how Don may feel about this all, doing such a major surgery on his own brother. Raph knew Don, he knew how he always blamed himself for mistakes, and this was probably going to tear him apart...

"Raph?" The turtle hadn't realized he had spaced out until Leo worriedly called his name. Raph snapped up his head and nodded.

"Yeah, I understand. I'm going go and talk to him for a minute before I rest." Said Raph. Leo nodded as a response.

When Raph passed Mikey on the couch, he laid a hand on his little brother's head and smiled down on him, as if to say: "Nothing to be scared of" before he passed him and walked into Don's lab, where he just hours earlier had found out about his sickness.

It felt wrong to step inside, and the recent memories quickly came back to him, but he shoved them down and found Don in his chair. The turtle was staring at the computer-screen in front of him, the light from the screen making him look almost deadly pale. On the monitor, two brains were displayed, covered with arrows that tagged names and explanations to the nerves. But Raph didn't give them a second glance. Instead, he coughed to get Don's attention and, as he had expected, the turtle turned around in his chair. When he saw his sick brother he almost immediately got up.

"Raph! Are you alright? Do you have a headache-?"

Raph had to yet again hold up a hand to get Don to quiet down before he answered his question.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The headache isn't worse than before...I'll take an aspirin and then head to bed, but I would like to talk to ya first." Raph nodded towards the chair and Don sat down. Raph took another chair and followed suit.

The hot-tempered turtle looked at his brother for a couple of seconds, as he tried to decide what to say, before he sighed and nodded to himself.

"Don…" He started. His brother tensed when he heard his name. A couple of more seconds that was spent in silence, before Raph finished the sentence, "… I don't want you to do an operation on me."