This PPV was suggested by jessybarden

I haven't had a chance to sit down and watch the main event yet, but I've seen + typed stuff down for all the other matches, and I wanted to finally publish this. Whenever I get to watch Austin/Rock, I'll come back and edit this.

(Also, I apparently just talk about guys being hot in this a lot lmao sorry)

1.Chris Jericho vs. William Regal
Intercontinental Championship Match
-I LOVE CHRIS JERICHO AND HE'S STARTING THE SHOW!!
-HE'S GOT THE LONG HAIR!!
-They kept saying "commissioner" and I kept thinking of Vince, and I was like?? Why is he in this match lmao??
-OH GOD JERICHO PEED IN REGAL'S TEA 😂😷
-Jericho did not get all of that crossbody to the outside of the ring ooh
-Something is wrong with Jericho's left shoulder
-The lionsault is such a good move wow
-I'm only talking about Jericho, sorry 😂 Regal is good too!
-Regal's submission is pretty neat
-Chris Jericho wins!!
-That was a good match + opener!

Shane McMahon is here. He bought WCW last week.

(Young Shane O'Mac was a whole snack tbh)

APA are panicking about something.

I... think Jacqueline is with them?

2.Right to Censor vs. Tazz & APA (w/ Jacqueline)
6-Man Tag Team Match
-Right to Censor looks like a group of Mormons (or a cult, I can't decide)
-THIS ISN'T EVEN A THEME SONG IT'S JUST BEEPING FFS
-This doesn't really feel like a Mania match. This feels like it could've been on Raw or something.
-Wait, Tazz is a commentator? Does he also wrestle (at this point in time)? Or like, just this one time?
-That reverse slam was hella basic and Val Venis oversold it lmao
-APA (or the Acolytes, whatever they're called) and Tazz win
-People... actually won in their hometown?? Truly shocking

I don't know what the theme song is, but I really like it.

Oh god, Linda's in a wheelchair.

Oh god, Stephanie's in a jumpsuit that says "Daddy's Girl."

3.Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show
Hardcore Championship Match
-Raven looks good 👀
-oh hey, apparently it's a triple threat. Hey Big Show.
-Big Show looks exactly the same now in 2018, except here he's got hair.
-That sign said "My colon hurts" lmao what
-They're no longer in the ring.
-Raven just went through a window!
-And Kane went through a door!
-And Big Show and Kane just went through a wall!
-They're just destroying this room at this point lmao
-OH this is that match where Raven very nearly cut off the stream by running over some wires. I remember hearing about that.
-Kane wins!
-That match was fun, I liked it.
-WWE, bring back the Hardcore Championship.

Kurt Angle is backstage watching the show. Edge and Christian are totally gonna win TLC... again. (That's what they said lmao)

Kurt is salty about tapping out or something.

Jimmy Snuka oof, he's at WWF New York, whatever that is.

The Rock just showed up.

4.Eddie Guerrero (w/ Guy in Big Hat) vs. Test
European Championship Match
-okay so confession: I've never seen an Eddie Guerrero match. This will be the first one.
-Test looks like Big Cass if Big Cass was attractive.
-Paul Heyman just called out America for stealing land from Mexico, we love a woke legend
-the man in the hat is apparently Perry Saturn.
-Perry Saturn looks like a bald Hulk Hogan.
-Dean Malenko (apparently) just came out.
-Eddie wins!
-I don't have much to say, I just watched the match lmao it was pretty great.

Michael Cole is so small

Pretty sure Mick Foley is going to screw over Vince.

lol he came back just to say that Houston was great 😂

5.Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
-I guess this was before the YOU SUCK chants. It's weird.
-He's a representative of all 50 states, but hates Texas lmao okay
-I've also never seen a Chris Benoit match.
-"This is as excited a man can get with his clothes on." PAUL WTF
-They're wearing matching gear.
-Kurt tapped out, but the ref was out, so it didn't count.
-I... don't know how I feel about that headbutt.
-Kurt wins! He pinned Chris Benoit, grabbing his tights to do it.

Regal is offended that Michael Cole asked if he was okay.

Kamala was in his office being weird.

Some dude interviewed Kurt, who said he doesn't have to respect Benoit, who showed up and put him in that crossface he does.

6.Ivory vs. Chyna
Women's Championship Match
-This was one of the matches jessybarden mentioned when recommending this PPV.
-oh god, it's the Right to Censor "theme song" again ugh
-A sign behind the commentators says "Vince is the true pimp" lmao
-Chyna is so cool. PUT HER IN THE HALL OF FAME WWE (edit: SHE'S GOING INTO THE HALL OF FAME!!)
-I like Chyna's gear.
-Ivory hit Chyna with the belt when the ref wasn't looking.
-This match is focusing on Chyna's injured neck.
-Chyna is just beating the shit out of Ivory now.
-Chyna wins!!
-That was really short.

I hate everything about this McMahon storyline ugh

Wait, so Vince thought he bought WCW, but Shane was the one who actually did?

Shane was always my favorite McMahon

7.Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon (w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley)
Street Fight w/ Mick Foley as Special Guest Referee
-Shane still dresses the exact same way now lol
-So why is Mick the ref?
-They have the same theme song?
-Is this the match where Linda randomly comes back to life and slaps Vince (or something)?
-lmao Steph slapped Shane, he should beat her up.
-oh my god, who decided this needed to be a match? Vince is elderly + Shane, no matter how hot he is, isn't the best wrestler around.
-Now he's beating Vince with a kendo stick.
-oh, those signature Shane punches 😂
-I'm glad Paul Heyman also finds this disturbing.
-oh, also the signature Shane jumping off of something and not hitting his opponent.
-and here's Trish and Linda.
-"I'm ashamed of Shane McMahon on this given evening!"
-TRISH SLAPPED VINCE 🙌🏻
-Now Trish and Steph are fighting
-lmao I thought Trish was gonna pin her, and I was like "this isn't even your match!"
-Mick is now focused on the women instead of the match he is refereeing.
-(not because he's creepy, but because Steph slapped him)
-oh, Mick came back.
-Now Vince is attacking him with a chair
-IT IS THE ONE WHERE LINDA GETS UP YES SHE HIT VINCE IN THE BALLS
-COAST TO COAST
-SHANE WINS (thank god)
-Wait, was Vince gonna hit Linda with the trash can? Or did he turn around to see what everyone was cheering about?

A guy is interviewing the Hardys during an Axxess autograph signing.

Triple H is now breathing heavily backstage.

And Undertaker is practicing his punches.

8.The Dudley Boys vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian
TLC 2
-If I watched wrestling in 2001, I definitely would've been a Hardys fan. ❤️🖤
-I'm pretty sure I've seen this match on one of Edge's DVDs, but I'm always down to watch it again.
-Spike Dudley just took out Edge and Christian.
-and now Rhyno's here!
-AND LITA!
-Lita took off her shirt for some reason, then the Dudleys hit her with 3D.
-THAT ICONIC SPEAR!!
-Edge and Christian win!
-I didn't type a whole lot about this match because it was just so so good, I didn't want to look away.

WrestleMania set an attendance record at the Astrodome.

9.Gimmick Battle Royal
-Oh, Mean Gene is coming out to commentate... :( RIP
-Oh, and Bobby Heenan is joining him... :( RIP
-Why is this battle royal even happening? 😂
-There's the Bushwhackers, a guy who calls himself The Dumpster.
-It's the Iron Sheik! He's great on Twitter.
-Earthquake doesn't seem as old as everybody else.
-There's a fucking hockey player that got no reaction.
-Doink!
-Heenan just said he'd be happier dead uhhhh
-Kamala's gimmick seems racist.
-Repo Man is out now.
-Ugh, Jim Cornette.
-Nikolai Volkoff looks sad.
-Ew, is Michael Hayes' cape a confederate flag?
-One Man Gang looks homeless.
-Oh, the Gobbledy Gooker 😂😂
-For some reason, I thought Earthquake and Tugboat were the same person, but I guess not.
-Hey, I learned who Hillbilly Jim was last year!
-He seems so happy to be there.
-Brother Love. He's the first person to talk.
-Sgt. Slaughter. He's my prediction to win.
-He's the ONLY one that they showed clips for, I definitely think he's winning.
-Tugboat looks like John Goodman.
-Nikolai Volkoff is too old to be doing this.
-This is the worst thing I have ever seen.
-Oh, I guess Slaughter doesn't win.
-The Iron Sheik wins!
-They've gotta put the USA over.

10.Undertaker vs. Triple H
-I guess we're seeing Stephanie.
-I'm so used to quiet, spooky Undertaker, not American Badass Taker.
-Wrestling would be a whole lot more boring if everyone just got restraining orders.
-Regal is like "put Stephanie down," and Taker's like "okay Kane, toss her down here." 😂😂
-Oh, it's a live performance of Triple H's theme song!
-Taker is on a motorcycle, I want him to win.
-Oh wait, this is WrestleMania, of course Undertaker wins.
-This match is pretty great.