Time for me to review the actual Rumbles!

Before I start, my predictions for each of them were Sasha Banks and Aleister Black simply because of fantasy booking.

I wanted Sasha to challenge Bayley, and they'd have a match at Mania.

I wanted Aleister Black to come out, eliminate Brock, it's a big deal.  They end up having a match at Mania.  Aleister hits Brock with the Black Mass (since practically no one has kicked out of it), he pins Brock, he wins the title!  Brock is gone forever.

Anyway, obviously I was wrong lol

I'm gonna start with the women's Rumble.

Women's Royal Rumble Match

Number one was Alexa Bliss, and number two was Bianca Belair.

So, first off, I'd love to see a singles match with these two.  I'm not the biggest Alexa fan, but when paired with the right person, she can have really great matches.

And second, I wanted Sasha to win, but when Bianca came out, I was like, "Make her the Iron Woman of this match and just let her win."

I thought Bianca had a great showing in this match.  She eliminated 8 women, which broke the record for most eliminations in the women's Rumble.  They made her look like a star (for the most part).

Number three was Mighty Molly (pretty sure she was just regular Molly Holly in the first Rumble).  She wrestled before I started watching, but I've never heard ANYONE say a bad thing about her.  I think the women are always thanking her when they get inducted into the Hall of Fame.  I want Chyna to go in this year, but if she doesn't, I hope the honor goes to Molly Holly.

Number four was Nikki Cross.  I liked Alexa's smile when Nikki was coming out, because she knew she had a better chance of winning/not being eliminated.

Number 5 was Lana, and... wow.  I just went "oh god" when she came out, then I had to explain to my mom the whole Lashley/Lana/Rusev/I guess Liv storyline.

I think I assumed Lana would get eliminated immediately, but that wasn't the case lol

Number 6 was MERCEDES MOTHERFUCKING MARTINEZ

Since the first Mae Young Classic, if you asked me who WWE hasn't signed yet that I think they should, my answer has always been Mercedes Martinez.  She is a veteran and extremely good at her job, and when they announced that she had finally signed a few weeks ago, I was super happy. :)

I was also happy to see her in the battle royal on NXT, too.  And then she got to be in the Rumble!

She's absolutely amazing, and I love her a lot.  When she appeared in that one AEW battle royal, I was genuinely surprised that they didn't sign her.  Especially because their women's division is pretty weak. (I literally care about one woman in that whole division, and she's technically an alien lol)

Anyway, I love Mercedes, and I love that her main roster debut was at a PPV. :')

Number 7 was Liv Morgan, who I fully expected to come out soon after Lana.  My mom didn't recognize her, but when I told her she was in the Riott Squad and had a blue tongue, she remembered her.

I'm guessing we're probably getting a Liv/Lana match soon (tonight on Raw maybe?).

Anyway, those two eliminated each other pretty quickly.

Number 8 was Mandy Rose.

Here's the thing.  I'm gonna talk about a man getting involved the women's Rumble later and how I disliked it, but I really loved Otis getting involved, mostly because he WASN'T ACTUALLY IN THE MATCH.

I loved Mandy landing on him, avoiding elimination, and how he was just laying outside the ring lol

(I can't get the gif I found to work)

I also loved how he stayed after that, and how you could hear him yelling things in the background hahaha

Also, I wasn't mad about Otis being there because he's had some kinda on-screen storyline going on with Mandy for the past few weeks, so it MADE SENSE FOR HIM TO HELP HER.

Anyway, number 9 was THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CANDICE LERAE

(I JUST FOUND OUT SHE HAD JOHNNY'S NAME ON HER GEAR AND AWWW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH)

I was excited to see her last year, and I was excited to see her this year too!  2019 was a good year for Candice, mostly because they finally gave her a character/storyline that didn't involve the other love of my life, Johnny Gargano.

I loved that Bianca eliminated her, and that she did it the same way she eliminated her from that battle royal she won.

(I can't find what I'm looking for, but she lifted Candice above her head just because she can lol)

Number 10 was Sonya Deville, and this was when I realized I wanted to see a match with her and Mercedes Martinez.

So Mandy gets thrown out again, but Otis catches her, and then Sonya gets thrown out, landing on them, and they both get eliminated.  Pretty great stuff lol

Number 11 was Kairi Sane (I think this is her third appearance, but her first one as a main roster member!)

At one point, Corey Graves says that if Kairi and Asuka win their respective matches tonight, we could see the women's tag team champions facing each other at Mania, and I was like YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP.  But then neither of them won lol

While I'm here, I just have to say that I love Kairi's umbrella.  And I love how she was able to reinvent herself when she turned heel.  Because pirate princess Kairi just did not seem like she could ever be a heel, but here she is in 2020 doing it, and she's killing it.

Number 12 was the HBIC Mia Yim.  I feel like a lot of people fell off the Mia Yim bandwagon after her match with Shayna Baszler.  I agree, it wasn't a super great match, but that doesn't mean she's not a good wrestler.  She's always one of the highlights in the Mae Young Classic + she's had great matches since with Bianca Belair and Io Shirai (and I haven't seen it yet, but I'm pretty sure her Worlds Collide match with Kay Lee Ray was good too).

So I was happy to see Mia.  She's great.

Number 13 was Dana Brooke.  I hope 2020 is a breakout year for Dana Brooke.  She's really good; she's been steadily improving since getting called up too early, and I wouldn't mind seeing her challenge for a title at some point this year.

Number 14 was Tamina, who I forgot existed (no offense to her lol).  Then they had her face off with Bianca Belair, like that was some kind of dream match.  I have no dream matches involving Tamina, again, no offense to her.  Tamina's been there for 10+ years, and every time I see her, I'm like "oh yeah, you're still there."

also, when Tamina came out, I started really hoping for an AJ Lee return, but sadly, it did not happen. :(

Number 15 was Dakota Kai, who I absolutely love as a heel.  Sadly, she didn't last too long.

Number 16 was Chelsea Green.  I know she was apparently really good in Impact, but I'm not sold on her yet in NXT/WWE.  I'm interested in them pairing her with Robert Stone, but other than that, her gimmick just seems to be "Another Pretty Face", and unless that's actually her character, I'm gonna need to see more from her.

Anyway, Chelsea got eliminated real quick too.

Number 17 was Charlotte, and I deflated when she came out lol, I'll talk more about her later.

Number 18 was Naomi, and to say I was happy to see her was an understatement.  I'VE MISSED HER!

Naomi is so so good, and I'm glad that she's finally back.  I'm not too sure why she was gone (I don't think she was injured? I might be wrong though idk), but she seemed happy to be back, and that pop she got made me smile so big.  AND HER HAIR! IT LOOKS SO GOOD!

She got her usual spot of somehow not getting eliminated, and this time, she used that part of the announce table with the PPV name on it (that people always take off before throwing someone through it) as a bridge to get back in the ring.

Number 19 was Beth Phoenix!  Beth is one of those legends that I don't mind seeing come back because she can still go!  And last time, she was appearing on TV somewhat regularly, so it wasn't like a one and done thing.

At some point in the match, her head started bleeding (like, a lot), and I was wishing someone would just eliminate her.  But she was involved with the ending, so I guess they couldn't, so shoutout to her for continuing with the match anyway.

Number 20 was Toni Storm!  She's always cool.

Number 21 was Kelly Kelly.  I was never that big of a fan of hers, but I did enjoy seeing her win the 24/7 title last year lol

When Kelly entered the match, I realized two things.

First of all, when she does this move:

SHE SCREAMS. FOR NO REASON. THE WHOLE TIME SHE'S DOING IT.

And it was horrible ugh I was happy when she stopped.

Second of all, something I didn't mention at the start of this review: they had Jerry Lawler on commentary for this match (for some reason).  And I tuned him out for the most part, but he was extra creepy when Kelly was in the match.  I wanted him to leave.

He was actually fine for most of the show; he and Tom Phillips worked well together.  But I didn't like him during this Rumble. 

Number 22 was Sarah Logan.  I don't remember anything she did lol, I think she got eliminated pretty quickly.

Number 23 was Natalya, and when they were counting down to her coming out, I told my mom "I bet Natalya is next." The women in the ring were teaming up to try to eliminate Beth, and I felt like Nattie would come out and save her.  AND I TOTALLY CALLED IT!

So we got some teamwork with the Divas of Doom (my first favorite women's wrestlers omg), and it was great.

Number 24 was Xia Li, and I just want to say that someone in WWE must really like her.  She's been in both Mae Young Classics (and even made it to the second round in the 2018 one), and she was in the Rumble last year and this year.  She's great, don't get me wrong, but she's barely made any appearances in NXT.

I just think it's interesting that they give Xia Li time to shine. :)

Number 25 was Zelina Vega.

So, if anyone was wondering, I recently started watching Lucifer on Netflix (currently on season 2!).  And during this PPV, I realized that Zelina reminds me a lot of Maze from the show, both in looks and just in general.  I need someone to agree with me lol, please agree with me.

TELL ME THEY'RE NOT THE SAME PERSON

Number 26 was Shotzi Blackheart.  I haven't seen too much from her (just what she's done in NXT), but she seems cool and has a unique look, so I hope she goes far.

Number 27 was Carmella.  That move I complained about Kelly Kelly doing earlier?  That she screamed through?  Carmella did the exact same move lol, but she didn't scream while doing it.

Number 28 was Tegan Nox!  I wish she had come out earlier, when Dakota Kai was still in the match, but I was still glad to see her.

Number 29 was... Santina Marella.

Y'all...

Like I mentioned earlier.  Otis getting involved in the match?  That was funny.  I enjoyed that.  IT MADE SENSE.

Santina getting involved?  Honestly, it made me mad.

He was an actual participant in the match, and according to Wikipedia, he was in it for a whole minute, and then he ELIMINATED HIMSELF.  Like, I get that he was scared of Beth, but that spot could've gone to SOMEONE ELSE.

Where were the IIconics?  Where was Mickie James? (Is she still injured?)  What about women from NXT?  I fully expected to see Rhea Ripley or Kay Lee Ray in this match.  Deonna Purrazzo has been on Raw recently, you could've put her in the match.

BUT THEY PUT A MAN IN THE MATCH.  AND HE ELIMINATED HIMSELF IN ONE MINUTE.  IT WAS A WASTE OF A SPOT.

My guess is that Sasha Banks was supposed to be in it (I read somewhere that Bayley said something in an interview about her not feeling well or something?), but they had to take out her out at the last minute (which would explain why she didn't accompany Bayley to the ring for her match), and they replaced her with a freaking man.

I'm sure Asuka or Lacey Evans could've pulled double duty (I mean, Roman and Corbin did).  ANYTHING BUT SANTINA MARELLA.

Santina's first appearance was before I started watching wrestling, but I remember reading about it and being annoyed.

ugh anyway

Number 30 was SHAYNA BASZLER!

When Shayna came out (and I realized Sasha wasn't in the match), I began rooting for her.  It made sense to me for her to win, she's already got a story with Becky Lynch after beating her at Survivor Series.

BUT NOPE

Charlotte Flair obviously had to win this match.  And she had to eliminate both Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler, two of the biggest stars of this match.  They each eliminated 8 women, and put on a hell of a show.

It even seemed like Shayna was gonna win, when she got in the ring and just started throwing everybody out.

But Charlotte had to win.  Why?  Was it to add another accolade to her long list of accomplishments?  She didn't need this win.  I would've been legitimately shocked if they left her off of the WrestleMania card.  She's one of the biggest names in the women's division, she would've gotten a match.

And for what?  We're just gonna get Charlotte/Becky or Charlotte/Bayley again, and I honestly don't want to see either of them.  Yeah, Charlotte and Becky have great matches, but I really don't want to see them wrestle AGAIN.

Unless she challenges Brock Lesnar or Rhea Ripley, I really don't see what the point of her winning was, and I'm not interested in her Mania match.

Overall, I thought the match was pretty good.  I liked it.  I liked seeing all of the NXT girls + Beth, and besides the last like 10 minutes, it was a great match.

I wish someone other than Charlotte had won, but whatever.

I'm gonna move on.

Men's Royal Rumble Match

For the first few minutes of this match, I didn't think I was gonna like it.  But as it went on, I began really enjoying it.  I even liked Brock in it, and I hate that guy.

So we all know Brock Lesnar was number one (Paul Heyman told us a while ago).

Number 2 was Elias, and getting in the ring, he sang a song for us.

But before he could finish, Brock got out of the ring (and tripped lmao), ran to Elias, attacked him, and they got in the ring together.

Brock hit him with his own guitar, and Elias is eliminated.

Number 3 is Erick Rowan, who I have given 0 fucks about since he returned at some point last year (I don't even remember WHEN he returned lmao).

Brock eliminated him super quick too.

Number 4 is Robert Roode.  I haven't cared about him since he got called up, which sucks, because I actually kinda liked him in NXT.

Anyway, he got eliminated super quick too.

Number 5 was John Morrison, who also got eliminated super quick.

Imagine bringing back John Morrison, who has killed it everywhere he's gone since leaving WWE, and having him get eliminated in the Royal Rumble in about 10 seconds.  At least he got his slow mo entrance.

Number 6 is Kofi Kingston, and for a little bit, things got interesting.

Kofi is obviously still mad about Brock beating him for the title, so he starts beating up Brock.  He DOESN'T get eliminated immediately.

Number 7 is Rey Mysterio, who is also mad at Brock, but for beating up his son.  Now it's Rey + Kofi vs. Brock.

Number 8 is Big E, who is ALSO mad at Brock because Kofi is his bestie, and he took his bestie's title.

At one point, Big E PICKS UP BROCK LESNAR.

When Brock was eliminating everyone super quick, my mom was like "that dude is huge!  Is there anyone that's actually as big as him?" and the only guy I could think of was Braun Strowman.

But Big E is freaking HUGE, so it shouldn't have surprised me when he hit Brock with the Big Ending, but it did.

Anyway, Brock eliminates all three of them, and I am sad. :(

Number 9 is Cesaro, who gets eliminated real quick.

Number 10 is Shelton Benjamin.  He comes out, and Brock is like "oh hey, I know this guy!" They went to college together or something?  So Brock is like, "hey, let's eliminate people together! I like you!" And Shelton, being the idiot that he is, is like "yeah, sure!" And then he gets eliminated by Brock quickly, but not as quickly as others.

Number 11 is Shinsuke Nakamura.  Sami Zayn comes out with him, spazzing out as he does.  Shinsuke gets eliminated super quickly.

Number 12 is MVP, who I was not expecting!  He left WWE right before I started watching wrestling, so I don't know too much about him, and once again, he got eliminated quickly (also, it felt weird that they had him return, just to have him get eliminated in like 10 seconds).

Oh! And Brock started dancing to his music lmao

Number 13 is KEITH MOTHERFUCKING LEE.

DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT KEITH, DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT KEITH

When he came out, I was like "oh yeah, Keith Lee is also the same size as Brock." but I didn't realize he was gonna be in the Rumble, so I didn't mention him to my mom lol

Keith lasted a little longer than the other guys, since he's fucking huge, but he eventually got eliminated too. :(

When Keith came out, I was like "I wouldn't mind him winning" but then he didn't.

Number 14 was Braun Strowman.  I was like "oh, there he is! He's really big!"

At this point in the match, I realized that Braun is an idiot.  Brock was out, and instead of teaming up with Keith Lee to eliminate him, he ATTACKS KEITH INSTEAD.  LIKE?? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?? YOU ARE TWO MASSIVE LADS, Y'ALL COULD'VE ELIMINATED HIM TOGETHER YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

And then that's when Brock eliminated them both.

Number 15 was Ricochet, who apparently Brock attacked on Raw or something? (I haven't watched Raw in WEEKS)

Number 16 was Drew McIntyre, and this is where things get interesting again.

I think Drew was distracting Brock or something, because Ricochet is able to sneak up and hit Brock right in the dick.  And then Drew eliminates Brock!

BROCK LESNAR IS FINALLY OUT OF THE MATCH!

And then shortly after, Drew has Ricochet in his arms, and he promptly yeets him out of the ring.

Number 17 is The Miz, who gets eliminated pretty quickly.

Number 18 is AJ Styles, who suddenly reminded me that he debuted at this very PPV 4 years ago.  And it feels so weird to me that he's been in the WWE for 4 years?? It doesn't feel like it's been that long omg

Number 19 is Dolph Ziggler, who I barely remember doing anything in this match.

Number 20 is Karl Anderson.  When he came out, I told my mom that he and AJ are part of The OC, and that they have a third member.  And I was like, "He's bald, you'll realize it's him when he comes out."

And then, my favorite part of the whole night.

The clock counts down to 21, and after 0, we wait to see who it is.

And then...

YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY

I STARTED FREAKING OUT OH MY GOD

My mom was just like "what's happening?? Who is this??" and I had to explain to her who Edge was, and how amazing he is.  And like, right after I told her who he was, Corey (I think) started listing off all his accomplishments, and my mom was like "oh dang." she also thought he looked weird though lol

So Edge came back, and I wanted to cry, but I didn't know how to explain to my mom why I was crying over a wrestler, so I just held it in lmaoooo

LOOK AT HIM LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS OMG

When it comes to the Royal Rumble, I don't mess around.  I avoid spoilers at all costs.  I like to be surprised, and I was super surprised when Edge, who was forced to retire 9 YEARS AGO, came out and actually had a good run in the 2020 Royal Rumble.

I'm still so happy about this omg but I need to move on.

Number 22 was King Corbin, and even though my mom knew who that was (she doesn't like him ha + he was in a match earlier) I still told her that he was not the other bald guy in the OC we were waiting for.

Number 23 was Matt Riddle, who, in case y'all didn't know, got into some kind of altercation backstage with Brock Lesnar earlier in the night.  I was hoping he'd come out earlier, but sadly, Brock was already gone when he got out there.

Also, he got eliminated way too quickly?  And by KING CORBIN OF ALL PEOPLE??  Matt Riddle is one of the biggest names in NXT, and they had him get eliminated that quickly??

My mom told me that he reminded her of Darby Allin?? Somehow?? That they looked alike or something?? I don't know what she was talking about lmao

Number 24 was The OC's other bald guy, Luke Gallows.

At some point AJ Styles gets eliminated.  Edge speared him, and it looked like he might've got injured or something when it happened, so he got thrown out soon after it.  Hope he's okay.

Number 25 was Randy Orton, and OH MY GOD WE GOT RATED RKO

That team was way before I started watching wrestling, but even I was freaking out when they started working together, and they even hit an RKO together!

Number 26 is Roman Reigns.  I know my prediction was Aleister Black winning, but honestly, I thought Roman was gonna win.

Number 27 is Kevin Owens.

At some point, Kevin hit someone with a stunner, and one of the commentators mentioned Stone Cold.  I guess my mom has actually heard of him, because she was like "wait what? where's Stone Cold?" and I had to be like "he's not in this match, KO just hit his move" lmao

Number 28 is Aleister Black, and I was like YES KING COME OUT AND WIN THIS SO I CAN GET ONE OF MY RUMBLE PREDICTIONS RIGHT

But then he didn't :(

Number 29 was Samoa Joe.  At one point, he and Kevin Owens were talking, and then they were like "fuck it, let's fight each other I guess" so they did hahaha

And then number 30 was the winner of last year's Royal Rumble: Seth Freakin' Rollins.  I just need to mention how happy I am that he's a heel again.  Heel Seth is who I first fell in love with; he's just so good at it.

He came out with AOP and Buddy Murphy, the other members of his cult.

They end up eliminating Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe, and Murphy ends up helping Seth eliminate Aleister Black.

The three of them (now eliminated) start fighting AOP and Murphy up the ramp, and Seth is like "WAIT WHERE ARE Y'ALL GOING?? COME BACK"

(Do they say "y'all" in Iowa?)

And then he turns around, and the other guys in the ring are staring at him.

He tries convincing Roman to help him out, since they were part of The Shield together, but Roman is like "lol nah" and then Seth gets eliminated.

And then we have our final 4: Roman Reigns, Drew McIntyre, Edge, and Randy Orton.

If you had told me 5 years ago that this would be the final four of 2020, I wouldn't believe you.  But goddammit, it was really was the final four.

Anyway, lots of stuff happens, and in the end, Drew McIntyre is the last man standing.

Drew McIntyre is the winner of the 2020 men's Royal Rumble match.

I enjoyed this a lot more than the women's one, simply because I like the winner + there was no man dressed like a woman.

I'm looking forward to Drew facing Brock at Mania, and hopefully defeating him.  Just please, take the title off Brock.  I'M SO TIRED OF HIM UGH

This match was a lot of fun.  When Brock came out at number 1, I was afraid I was gonna hate it, but I ended up liking it a lot.

And Edge came back, and I'm still crying over that brb

All in all, this was a really good PPV.  Besides a few things, I really really enjoyed it, and because of that, I am considering it an early birthday present lol

Now excuse while I disappear from Wattpad for who knows how long (I promise I'm working on stuff, I'm just not finished with any of it lmao)

(EDIT: I started writing this earlier today - the Monday after the PPV - and then I ended up finishing it up after Raw ended.  I wrote about the women's match before the show, and I wrote about the men's one after.  So I'm sure a few things have happened since I talked about the women lol)