This show was suggested by Garganos :)

lmao so yeah, I'd never seen this PPV before, so here are all my thoughts on it.

Ring announcer: someone named Savannah?

Commentary: King, Cole, Striker

1. Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson (w/ William Regal)
ECW Championship Match

-Jackson's theme is a bop.
-Christian is longest-reigning ECW Champion (held it for 6 months).
-I LOVE CHRISTIAN!! ❤️❤️
-Jackson pinned Christian in a tag team match on the last ECW episode.
-Regal got ejected.
-Striker keeps talking about Jackson's measurements?? It's weird??
-Ezekiel bible verse = why that's his name?
-CHRISTIAN WINS!! PUT HIM IN THE HALL OF FAME!!

Teddy Long and Tiffany(?) talking, are interrupted.

Cryme Tyme = Ziploc Boys because they stay fresh lmao

Now Great Khali is here??

"Khali and I get all our slang from Family Matters!"

That Pants on the Ground song?? This is so 2010 omg

The Miz (US Champ) says he'll win the Royal Rumble. Has to defend his title against MVP!

Randy Orton... AND CODY RHODES!!

Cody is throwing Ted DiBiase under the bus. Says he'll win the Rumble match and beat Randy at Mania.

Skillet is the theme song!!

2. The Miz vs. MVP
US Championship Match

-tbh I forgot about MVP
-MVP won a fatal 4-way to become number one contender a few weeks ago.
-Lawler said "ballin'" and I wish he hadn't.
-QUIT TRYING TO WIN WITH A ROLLUP, MVP!!
-Miz won with a rollup instead lmao
-MVP hits Miz with the Playmaker (which is a hella weird move) after the match.
-MVP might've turned heel? Even though The Miz is already a heel?

Big Show and Chris Jericho are talking how. Show said he had more chemistry with Miz than Jericho, thinks Jericho is jealous.

Jericho called the crowd gelatinous tapeworms lmao, says Jeri-Show was the best tag team ever.

Show says he'll eliminate both Miz and Jericho.

R-Truth randomly shows up, says he'll eliminate Jericho. Says "bless his heart" after he leaves. 😂😂

Ted tells Randy good luck. Now HE'S throwing Cody under the bus.

Randy gets annoyed, doesn't want Cody or Ted to help him.

3.Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
WWE Championship Match

-Sheamus won the title 2 weeks ago.
-TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES
-"Sheamus burns my retinas" sign 😂😂
-Oh yeah, Justin Roberts is also ring announcing (6 FIGURES, I WAS ONLY 4)
-Randy slithered, it was weird.
-Sheamus did a nice backbreaker 👌🏻
-WHY WOULD YOU PIN HIM RIGHT NEXT TO THE ROPES FFS
-Cody came outta no where and attacked Sheamus! Randy hits an RKO, goes for a pin, but it ends in DQ because of Cody since the ref SAW THE WHOLE THING CODY YOU DUMBASS
-Randy attacks Cody because Cody was dumb.
-Ted comes out to stop him, but Randy attacks him too.
-I think Randy just ended Legacy.
-Sheamus hits an unprepared Randy with a Brogue Kick.
-Everyone just... leaves Randy in the ring.

They keep talking about how great Atlanta is for some reason.

4. Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James
Women's Championship Match

-Mickie beat Beth Phoenix and Natalya to become number one contender (that was probably a great match)
-OH GOD NO IT'S THE PIGGY JAMES STORYLINE 😭😤😷
-BITCH MICKIE ISN'T EVEN FAT
-Michelle says Mickie isn't anywhere to be found, then fat shames her because WWE SUCKS
-Layla comes out dressed as Mickie in a fat suit ugh
-The real Mickie comes out, attacks Layla
-Mickie wins in like 10 seconds
-This storyline sucks, but they could've given them a longer match. Mickie and Michelle can actually wrestle.
-The faces on the women's roster come out with a cake, they shove it in LayCool's faces.
-That... was dumb.

5. The Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio
World Heavyweight Championship

-This match just epitomizes SmackDown at this point in time wow
-BOOYAKA BOOYAKA 619
-I don't actually know who wins this but I hope it's Rey.
-Taker is looking at Rey like a disappointed dad.
-I forgot how good Rey is wow wow wow
-Taker did that thing where he sits straight up, and his face is all bloody so it was hella creepy.
-TWO 619s IN A ROW
-And Taker just no sells them and wins.
-I'm not really an Undertaker fan, and the Last Ride is kinda eh.

HBK and Kane are having a conversation. Kane lists off accolades that are no longer true lmao (most Rumble wins, only person to face Taker at Mania twice).

HHH is here now after Kane leaves. I guess HBK did something last week idk

I'm so used to Trips being bald lmao

Cole just called it Hotlanta :(

5. Royal Rumble
-IT'S TIME
-They're doing the stats like they do every year.
-Number one is DOLPH ZIGGLER. 2010-2013 Dolph was my absolute favorite. He used to be the best.
-Number two is... EVAN BOURNE. I forgot about him omg he was one of my faves.
-Number three is... CM PUNK I MISS HIM SO MUCH
-Evan and Dolph are both gone now.
-Punk is cutting a promo now? Oh he's trying to save us lmao
-"Excuse me, it's clobberin' time."
-Number four is...JTG.
-UGH I MISS PUNK
-And now JTG is gone. Punk is just continuing from where he left off lmao
-Number five is... The Great Khali.
-ELIMINATE HIM PUNK YOU CAN DO IT
-Number six is... BETH PHOENIX
-I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS WAS THE RUMBLE SHE WAS IN OMG
-AND SHE ELIMINATES KHALI YES
-PUNK HIT HER WITH THE GTS
-Number seven is... ZACK RYDER.
-Beth was eliminated. SHE SHOULD'VE WON.
-YALL NEED TO LISTEN TO PUNK HE'S TRYING TO SAVE YOU.
-If y'all had told me Punk was such a big part of this Rumble, I would've watched it years ago lmao
-Number eight is... Triple H.
-Oh no
-Number nine is... Drew McIntyre.
-OH GOD LOOK AT DREW HE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER TODAY
-This isn't Broken Dreams...
-NO TRIPS ELIMINATED PUNK 😭😭
-Number ten is... Ted DiBiase.
-Matt Striker asked who it was gonna be when Ted's music was already playing lmao what
-Number eleven is... JOHN MORRISON!!
-I just need to tell y'all that John Morrison is the prettiest wrestler in the world. Taya is hella lucky.
-Number twelve is... KANE SO SPOOKY
-Kane just went straight to the top rope lol
-Number thirteen is... CODY RHODES!!
-No Smoke and Mirrors :(
-I love Cody so much ❤️❤️
-Number fourteen is... MVP.
-Oh Miz hit him with the US title okay then.
-So MVP just isn't in this then lol
-Number fifteen is... Carlito.
-He got no reaction aw
-Number sixteen is... THE MIZ.
-I think Miz forgot how to run so he just tried his best.
-OH MVP CAME BACK HE ELIMINATED HIMSELF AND MIZ
-Y'all would actually eliminate someone if you quit STOPPING EACH OTHER WTF
-Number seventeen is... MATT HARDY (not yet broken).
-Had Jeff left WWE yet in 2010? I want to see him.
-There's a lot going on lmao I think someone was eliminated.
-Also Matt got a HUGE pop
-Number eighteen is... HBK!
-And there goes Carlito.
-...and Cody... :(
-...and Ted.
-Shawn is just eliminating everybody lmao
-DX eliminated Drew
-Number nineteen is... JOHN CENA DO DO DO DOOOO
-I used to be so obsessed with John CENA lmao wow
-My phone autocorrected Cena into all caps 😂😂
-SHAWN ELIMINATED TRIPLE H OMG
-Oh yeah, Shelton Benjamin is number 20.
-He had a good theme song, he should bring it back.
-And Cena eliminated Shelton
-Number 21 is... Yoshi Tatsu (yes).
-I mean... I don't /hate/ Yoshi Tatsu. 🤷🏻‍♀️
-and he's gone
-The HBK/Taker match this year is the one that retired Shawn, right?
-Number 22 is... Big Show.
-Big Show is stressing John Cena out lmaooo
-Both Shawn and Big Show ALMOST got eliminated, but didn't.
-Number 23 is... Mark Henry. HE'S STILL GOT A LOT LEFT IN THE TANK.
-oh my god they're huge
-Number 24 is... Chris Masters.
-He won a triple threat match on Superstars to be in this lol
-Big Show eliminated Masters
-"It's not gonna be Masters," Lawler said after he was already eliminated lmao
-Number 25 is... R-Truth!
-HE ELIMINATED BOTH BIG SHOW AND MARK HENRY.
-If Punk and Beth aren't winning, it should be R-Truth.
-Number 26 is... Jack Swagger.
-I forgot about him oops
-He had a dumb face when he was running to the ring.
-There are 3 legends and Jack Swagger currently in the ring.
-Number 27 is... KOFI KINGSTON SOS
-KOFI SHOULD BE WWE CHAMPION RIGHT NOW
-Kofi eliminated Jack Swagger 🙌🏻
-Number 28 is... CHRIS JERICHO
-BREAK THE WALLS DOWN
-There are only legends in the ring right now.
-NO John eliminated Kofi 😭😭
-Number 29 is... EDGE
-YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
-I MISS EDGE
-OH IT'S A RETURN
-HE'S THE BEST
-EDGE ELIMINATED JERICHO
-He was supposed to be out 14+ months, but was only out for 8 wow wow wow
-I really hope the other PPVs y'all suggested have Edge on them because I love this man
-There are only 9 minutes left and it froze?? I'm so annoyed omg ugh
-I feel bad for whoever number 30 is. I don't know if he's as legendary as EDGE.
-Okay it's back on track, I fixed it.
-So... back in 2010, did people know Edge was gonna return? Because now, in 2018, you almost always know when someone's gonna return. Or was this a legit shock/surprise?
-And number 30 is... BATISTA.
-lmao Cole shut up, Batista's only your pick because he's number 30.
-Two Hall of Famers and two future Hall of Famers. Legends only.
-Batista eliminates HBK!
-HBK is sad. Probably because the commentators right behind him are talking about his dreams being crushed.
-Oh, he got back in the ring. He's stressed out. He hit the ref with Sweet Chin Music!
-Now a different ref is telling him to get out.
-John Cena eliminated Batista! It's down to him and Edge!
-EDGE ELIMINATED CENA!
-EDGE WINS!!
-ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLY

Final Thoughts
The Rumble was awesome, the rest of the show was okay.

Michelle McCool and Mickie James deserve better.

Okay, that's it.

***

lmao anyway, thanks for reading this nonsense.

I was gonna put everything into a nice format, then I decided to keep it like this. These are my thoughts as everything happened. I wrote all this in my notes on my phone.

Tomorrow, I'm watching WrestleMania 17. :)

If there's a PPV you want me to watch, let me know! It must be pre-summer of 2010. I also subscribe to Shimmer, NJPW, and Progress, and have only seen a couple of their shows if you want to suggest one of those.