A/n: This is serious and long, so back out if you get bored easily and sensitive to language.

When I was young, I believed that going to school is the best feeling ever.

I was able to survive school until 1st year Junior High School (7th Grade to some people).

And now I despise it.

I love the fun, not the school.

Burn all the assignments!

Curse all the projects!

Kill the teachers!

Those were the things that ran into my mind...

And now I experienced trauma...

A classmate tried to kill me...Suffocated me for a minute and I couldn't breathe...

A teacher was like "Oh, it's First Friday Mass, gotta let the non catholics watch a film", so we were all called to a classroom.

We were like sardines in a can. The room was very hot, and there was this smell.

Some of my classmates went out, but ma'am didn't care.

I was sweating a lot compared to my classmates, and I was hyperventilating. One of my classmates told me that I should go out.

At first I refused because it was still tolerable, but 5 minutes later it could have been my end. Not exaggerating. My bestfriend left and ran down the stairs, with me following even though I was still catching my breath.

Ma'am caught me and shouted at me, humiliating me. I tried to explain, but she cut me off and even threatened me.

So I left, went down the stairs, ran in circles around the campus and went up the ramp to our classroom.

I cried, and most of my classmates that left tried to cheer me up, but no, I can't.

I'm afraid to fail.

I'm afraid that my 93 grade will become 75 because of that incident.

And at that moment, I almost passed out. I wanted to pass out. My heart was beating like crazy, and it hurts. I fell to the ground, and they panicked.

I felt like drowning at that moment. Until now I was still shaking when I recall that.

Not only I experienced that, but also my close friend.

Ma'am went in front of her in the library and shouted at her, humiliating her. Everybody in the library stared at them.

My close friend was humiliated, but not another classmate that was sitting beside her. Only she was shouted at.

I thought that school was cool.

I thought that going to school is the best feeling ever.

I THOUGHT THAT OUR TEACHERS ARE LIKE SECOND PARENTS.

SHIT I WAS WRONG.

I want to drop out and go homeschooling.

I was depressed.

Stress is SLOWLY KILLING ME LITERALLY.

MY LIFE SPAN IS GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER BECAUSE OF MY SICKNESS.

KAMISAMA, IF HE IS REAL, FORSAKES ME.