HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MEEEE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
the rest of the world: AND MANY MORE
gertrude: GO DIE IN A HOLE

Gertrude, I'm way ahead of you sweets. I got my braces re-adjusted yesterday morning and they hurt like [unbelievably censored] and I just sneezed which made it hurt worse, BUT fortunately I will be eating naught but cake and ice cream tomorrow which shall be easy on my pained face. I still want to go rip out my mouth and die in a hole though.

Fortunately, the orthodontist gives you a nice cookie made out of cake (aka it melts in your mouth and you don't have to chew it) when you have to suffer through re-adjustment on your birthday :3

[unbelievably censored]

my allergies are bad and I keep sneezing which makes my teeth hurt EVEN MORE

cake and ice cream why aren't you here when I need you D':