I haven't really been able to update. No it's not because I have writers block. It's just I'm going through so much right now and I don't know how to deal with it. At school I'm an emotional wreck and at home. I haven't talk to people about this. That's all because I've found no reason to. After finding out that my crush likes me she rejected me. After that I don't know what to do. She reported me to the councilor because I'm suicidal. She cares but sometimes I feel worthless and the fact that my crush seems to not give one shit about it and fails to notice anything. Breaks my heart even more than it should be. It's just this hurts so much. All I can do is lay dow in my bed and cry to myself. I really fell in love with this person. It hurts so so much that I don't even think words can explain it. Why did I fall in love with someone who doesn't seem to care. Why do I have to be like this. I'm trying to write but I can't all I can think about is how this person hurt me so much. I can't deal with it like a normal person. I can't just get over this. This is someone that I care about a lot and someone who I thought I had a chance with. Just writing this makes me cry and this is one Mother's Day and I don't even get to spend time with my mom. Why can't I just get over this. I've been working so hard to put stuff out but I just can't. It hurts why to much to do anything. I'm sorry at some point everything will turn out fine but maybe I should leave for a couple more months. I'm sorry I'll be back with the writing and such soon.