@AbeerMohamed595 thanks for giving me the idea but the only way I could give it to her would be through sending her the letter and I don't have her exact address only the place where she lives. She doesn't go to my school but I'd say I know her well. The thing is she can read the letter since she is also on wattpad.

I originally wrote it in German since she wouldn't understand it anyways. 

I will censor the name 🤷‍♀️ and I will change some words as to not be to obvious. The girl I am talking about CAN know it. Depends if she'll deny it just like me or if she would make move. 

Warnings: 

I guess mention of long distance 

Me holding myself back

Mention of a song I wrote but never gave her (and probably never will) 

Here is the translation:

Hey #####,

I've been thinking of you for a while.

Almost 2 months to be honest.

We share the same interests, it's how we 'meet'.

But since one day I can't stop thinking of you.

Even though I know there won't be anything more then friendship between us.

I like you, a lot actually, but as the older one between us I need to stay responsible. What we could have if the feeling were required is something you currently don't need.

I couldn't give you the comfort of being there whenever you need me. All I could do is give you a call and visit every few years until I am finished with school. I'd doubt you could wait for 4 years.

We are to far away from each other. You could say we are reading the same book, I am just a couple chapters ahead. 

I want to be honest, from all the people I've liked this is the strongest I've felt for someone.

It would be hard but I would do it. All I can hope that with a real rejection when I tell you next year it will fade at some point. 

I hate and love it at the same time how you can get me easily flustered. I hate how I actually feel like a stereotypical high school girl liking her crush. 

Must be fun with how many things I've wrote about you. Even just from our small interactions. I like your personality and the way you threat others. You're a good person. But I might've liked the wrong person or the right one at the wrong time.

I know that there is a slight possibility. I know you like girls as well and the fact that you once said that I am one of the best things that happened to you this year.

The 'I love you' 's that you say that make me try to convince myself that they're platonically just like the way you tell it to the others.

The way I try to deny everything just because of the fear that it is all an act. The way you act always so energetic or used to. I don't know I might just see too much into it. 

The way I find it cute when I manage to make you flustered. The way I would shout it from the rooftops just like you once 'implied'.

It's so stupid how I end up lying in my bed till 2 am while being unable to get you out of my head.  It's how stupidly strong these feelings already are that I've become more addicted to my phone just to wait for a message of you, feeling disappointed when there is none. 

The fact that I send you texts to get a respond just to feel nervous about being to clingy or annoying. 

I wish it would be easier. I tend to over complicate things. I even feel nervous while writing this. You would probably be the only one that could know this.

'youthful or Jove's child' that's what your name means... I guess it fits you unlike mine who basically means 'happy, good luck and fortune'. Kind of ironic.

I know you could be able to tell it. I am sorry for burdening you like this.

Thank you for being the owner of my first strong feelings... I don't regret it so far and I hope I never will. Even though it is kind of a weird way to fall for someone.

I even wrote a short melody with a Songtexte... It's not great but I'll keep working on it.

Ps. Fee

I am sorry but I guess this is also a way to confess with the whole world being able to read it. I get if it's embarrassing but if she might like me back she would remember the conversations...

Thanks for reading it though to the others. This feels kind of awkward but this is the only way currently to confess without her knowing to a 100% it is from me to her.

Ps Feli