42) READERS DONT LET THE POOR FANFIC GIRL CRY

I s2g a girl can't cry in a story unless the worst possible thing happened to her

like all these girls in fanfics are put in horrible situations where she gets kidnapped or some shit by the boy and of course shes crying a lot bc she was fucKING KIDNAPPED???? this girl will cry bc obviously shes in a shitty situation and all the comments are "omg she cries all the time!!! its so annoying god!!"

SHE

WAS

KIDNAPPED

LET THE GIRL FUCKING CRY WHAT

like im a v v emotional person like if som1 yells at me theres a 555% chance ill cry so i feel u fanfic girl u aint even gotta b kidnapped to cry. You cryin bc u dropped a fry on the floor? bitch me too

43) UNNECESSARY LOVE TRIANGLE

authors always like to throw in love triangles that aren't even relevant and add no substance to the story???

sometimes i like them bc they're actually a big part of the story and you don't know who the girl is gonna choose but they're always too obvious like "Harry Styles, world famous hot piece of ass pop star and average boy named Billy fight for Jenny's heart......WHO'S GONNA WIN??????"

44) They're so intensely clueless about sex and penises

look i understand if you're inexperienced with dick when ur like 18 bc a lot of girls don't come in contact with a penis ntil they're older, but these girls act like they have never seen a dick or anything at some point in their life. Whether its on the internet, from someone talking about it, or from like sex ed, U R BOUND TO COME ACROSS PENISES DONT LIE KAREN.

The first time they see a dick is always so uncomfortable bc they like poke it and observe it and shit???

i dont get why that shit is normal in fanfics bc in real life if i started taking out a microscope and poking at some guys dick he would b like what the FUCK.

im genuinely surprised these fanfic girls haven't like shoved the dick in their ear and been like "is this right"

45) The romantic late night calls

the guy for some reason always calls the girl at fucking 2 am or some shit and it bothers me.

some people think its romantic but if my bf called me at 3 am just to be like "just wanna let u know i love you :)" I would fucking shove that phone somewhere you aint ever gonna hear it ring again

(im implying im gonna shove the phone up his ass in case that wasn't clear)

lmao how funny would that be if the phone was set on vibrate so every time some calls or text this dude is just gonna have a phone vibrating up his ass goodbye

46) People do these crazy fucking dares that people irl don't actually do

Look, truth and dare can get intense sometimes but fanfics take it too far

like 50% of the kidnapped by 1d fics start bc Liam dared Louis to kidnap some random chick or some shit. who the FUCK would kidnap someone bc a DAR E WHy WhY.

same with the whole "Hot Harry dates ugly girl bc he's dared and falls in luv with her!!" plot line. i h8 that plotline fuck

47) WHen sex scenes arent full of love and passion like this one

Spongebob slowly caressed one of squidwards tentacles, his hand beginning to slowly inch inward when all of the sudden squidward froze with embarrassment.

"Wait." he pleaded. "I-I... I don't have a-a you know" the squid stated, motioning to where his dick should be

"Oh tru." Spongebob said. "You never wear pants im surprised i haven't noticed your lack of dick."

squidwards face grew red with embarrassment "Ill bet squilliam fancyson never has this problem!" he sobbed

"That's okay." spongebob comforted him, "You know... there's something else we could use." spongebob said sexually, reaching up, beginning to lightly stroke squidwards large nose. his nose immediately hardened and straightened at the sponges grasp.

"Where do you want it?" Squidward questioned with lust laced in his voice

"I'm a sponge.... I have plenty of holes ;)" Spongebob responded, causing squidward to ink

jesus christ what the fucK is wrong with me

-Mare :)xx

an ACTUAL update??????

im currently writing this to avoid doing my english hw #qualitystudent

I actually missed doing these sm. I'm kinda rusty at it bc it's been awhile but I hope u guys still enjoyed it

the pic attached isn't relevant to anything but I actually shed a tear when I saw it because of his beauty so I felt the need to share