Okay sooooooo some of you have seen my message board about my boyfriend basically breaking up with me on valentines.  GREAT FUCKING GREAT.  The first real boyfriend I've ever had and actually liked ignored my calls and texts for a few days.  I think he's ashamed or something because he did drugs again or something like that.  I don't know but it really upsets me.  THIS WAS DURING SCHOOL TOO.  When I left to my car I passed my childhood friend that I've been in love with since we met.  He was surrounded by all these girls and he has so many friends....  the only friends I have are exchange students.  While I love them yes but I can't understand them sometimes.  They don't understand my jokes sometimes either and I love making jokes.  So I have no friends at all.  My home life hasn't been any better because my sister moved in.  She had a one year old.  While I love my nephew and sister to pieces-  I'm basically being built in as a personal babysitter.  And it's even messing me up on wattpad I can't give you all my best replies.  I know they have sucked so bad lately.  I just try and try to think but I have no ideas left...  I live on my ideas but reality is drying me up.  I want to live with my dad but I can't because of my mom.  Also my grandma passed a year again and the anniversary of her death is coming up.  I can't stand living in her house.  I hate my fucking life.  My moms boyfriends ex wife called fucking CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES on my fucking family.  And we were all questioned and my one year old nephew had to be drug tested. 

Life just keeps getting better. 

I'm being constantly pressured about college and doing well with grades but I can't even keep up with myself.  It's gross but I haven't taken a shower in maybe a week and a half.  I just can't ever find the time.  Of course I wash my body but I just can't relax for one fucking second without being yelled at by my sister or mom about cleaning. 

I don't know I'm sorry about the rant but at least you guys know why I can't reply much.  I'm always trying to give you the best replies but I just can't!  I'm trying and trying but please be patient with me.