I'm so different than everyone... Recently my friends learned about me being a fujoshi... And liking doujinshi, fanfic, etc. All gay ones in fact.

They think of me differently now... They're judging me for it, and not looking at me the same for it.... On one of my Instagram accounts I posted a picture of a drawing of mine... It was bakudeku. It was basically bakugou surprise kissing Deku.. my mom called it porn.. rape even... Then the next day my older brother (ya know someone I'm suppose to look up to) was having a conversation with my mom.. I came into the conversation and started talking about this weird ass mpreg story I read. They judged me and called me perverted, even tho I was agreeing with them. I thought it was gross too. Only that one part tho...

I once asked my mom when I was younger, how she would feel if I was lesbian or bi.. she said she wouldn't mind. That it was normal...

Now in my teen years I find that everyone in my family is homophobic... My brother talks about it with his online friends... I wanted to keep my likes private so that I would have at least two maybe three people that respected me. But nope. He flat out told them. I didn't hear what they said but I'm sure it was smth along the lines of, "ew" "that's gross" "that's weird" ect. Because his response was, "I know *laugh*"... It hurts... Being different... I'm gross.. what I like isn't normal... I'm disgusting.. there's something wrong with me.

I started thinking recently... About how addicted I am.. how disgusting I am.. and I realized... If i were to stop with this... Disgusting habit I'd have nothing to do in my life... And that's sad.

So.. I'm just going to give it up.

I have to.