Slide...

The warmly lit paper room was just as silent as the outside, just as deserted... much more lonely that it used to be.

Books, normally worn from being read over and over, were stacked neatly... papers that were usually scattered across the floor by someone impatiently looking for info, or someone who had foolishly thought it'd be possible to read them all at the same times... were nowhere to be found. Ink pots and quills untouched as well.

It somehow didn't even look like the same room anymore... the only thing still familiar was the scent.

Ranmaru didn't think twice about this, however. That was just the way things were now.

He walked in, slid the door closed behind him, and kicked off his shoes, neatly placing them next to a pair of what looked like unworn ones. He had to stop himself from looking around the room, as if something would have changed, as if a single thing would have been touched. He'd grown tired of that long ago.

Clutching a small object in his hand, he simply focused on the one thing he came in there for.

...

Ignoring everything else, Ranmaru immediately headed towards the back corner of the room, one hidden from the light of the lantern, and knelled down in front of yet another sliding door. This one was low, close to the floor, as if made for children.

Normally it was used for storing supplies, but those had been cleared out, to make room for something more important.

Gently, as if to prevent alerting anyone, Ranmaru slid the small door open and peeked inside.

It was almost pitch black, the light from the lantern barely reached inside... which was exactly how the occupant inside preferred it to be.

The light... was a little but uncomfortable for him now.

"Taku?"

...

It wasn't too hard to miss him, despite the lack of lighting, the person sat curled up in the corner, dozing against the wall.

He'd been sleeping for a very long time, but despite that, his red eyes opened as soon as he heard Ranmaru's voice. Though he didn't reply... for his muzzle remained securely in his mouth.

...

Ranmaru gave a soft smile, just like he always used too. "I'm home."

Takuto's eyes widened for a moment, before a look of relief took over.

...

"Are you feeling a little better?"

...

Takuto looked down. "A little bit," is what that usually meant, though if that were the truth remained ambiguous regardless.

That was all Ranmaru could ask for. "I'm sorry you had to wait," he murmured, despite this being the regular time they met.

...

Making sure to hide what he'd been holding behind his back: "Do you... feel like coming out today? Just for a little bit?"

Another familiar sign. Ranmaru looked up at Takuto with hopeful eyes, and Takuto avoided them immediately.

"Please...?"

He still didn't look, seeming set on his decision to stay.

"I miss you."

... That always got Takuto to come out.

They sat together in the middle of the untouched books, facing each other, Ranmaru preoccupied with trying to fix Takuto's week old bed head.

He should have known that was practically impossible, perhaps it was just nice to touch him again.

...

When Ranmaru looked down, he instantly met Takuto's eyes, he looked as if he was waiting, urgently, for something. That also wasn't an unfamiliar look.

Every time they met Takuto gave him that look, probably wondering all about where he'd been all day, how his sword training was going along, what was the current news around town...

No, he'd skip straight to the most important things. Demanding info on the status of the demon epidemic... if any more victims had been claimed, where were they last seen... before storming out the door, sword in hand, ready to kill it himself.

Or asking, if Ranmaru had come across something... anything... that could even hint at a cure.

...

It was Ranmaru's turn to look away.

"You remind me a lot of me now," Ranmaru began, finally done fixing his red hair and sitting back in place. "At least... what I think me is. You don't wake up until the evenings, and when you do, you have the silliest bed head." He wondered if it was just as charming as when he himself did it though. "The only thing other thing you would need is to be eating practically 24/7..." He trailed off, realizing that would be difficult with his new particular "diet".

"I guess in a way," Ranmaru placed a hand on the sword on his hip, the one once treasured, worn, nearly pushed to it's breaking point by Takuto. "I'm a lot like you now too..."

Now he was the one getting up early, rifling through books day and night, prodding anyone he saw for information, immediately, recklessly, heading for the next reported demon sighting... forgetting to eat in the process... the words he used to say to Takuto, begging him to rest, flowed through his head.

"Isn't that funny?" Ranmaru looked up at Takuto smiling, but that look of want was long gone, and his eyes were focused completely on the hand Ranmaru conspicuously hid behind his back.

...

"Hm... nothing gets past you, huh?" He finally stopped hiding it. It wasn't anything interesting or worth hiding in the first place, simply a small wooden toothbrush.

He heard Takuto grumble, muffled under the muzzle.

"I know... I know it's silly to think about but..." Ranmaru twirled it around in his hand. "You still have to... take care of yourself." That's one thing that hadn't changed.

...

Ranmaru met Takuto's glare with the softest look he could manage. "I know it doesn't seem like much to you, but you've been making so much progress." He leaned closer and closer to Takuto, as if to prove his point. "You're nothing at all... like you were when this first happened..." And reached out a hand to caress his cheek--

"!" Takuto flinched away, as if scared to even come in contact with him.

...

"It's ok..." Ranmaru still smiled regardless, "Remember we practiced this." He held Takuto's hand, before he could pull it away. He must not have noticed, so used to the gesture, Ranmaru could tell it calmed him.

"Please? ...I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is for you to even... be around me at all." Sometimes it hurt a little, to really recall the depth of the situation. "But... if anyone can overcome it, it's you Taku."

...

Takuto began letting his guard down... at least a little bit. Much quicker than he used to, however. Ranmaru took the chance to inch even closer, until their knees touched.

...

"You still are the strongest person I've ever known... even now."

Takuto stared down, holding Ranmaru's hand in his lap, for some reason simply caressing it was calming. But Ranmaru didn't doubt that he listened to his words.

...Ranmaru simply relaxed as well, letting Takuto hold his hand for as long as he needed.

...

Eventually, Ranmaru reached up to hold onto his friend's muzzle, the daring proposal once again, but this time not a reaction from Takuto.

...taking that as a sign to continue, he reached up to hold the muzzle with both hands--

"Hmph!" Takuto clamped down on it, as hard as he could, and the glare returned. It wasn't filled with passion or determination like it usually was though... Ranmaru was probably the only person who could ever tell. That look... was just masking fear.

 ...that... only made Ranmaru more resolute in his goal.

"Please...?" He tilted his head.

The glare softened... just a little bit. He was always like that.

"Hold my hands, ok? We'll do it together."

...

After a moment, Takuto finally reached up, holding Ranmaru's hands in his, very, very gently.

He could feel them ever so slightly shaking.

"Ready?" Maybe it was Ranmaru's smile that helped him calm his breathing... or his soft voice...

...

Eventually, he took one last breath, and Ranmaru took that as permission to continue. Carefully as he could, letting Takuto guide his hands at the most comfortable speed, they finally removed the muzzle from his mouth.

Drip...

Probably expected, since he'd been wearing that muzzle for months straight, saliva puddled onto the tatami floor.

...Takuto looked away, wiping his lips with his sleeve. Not even the dim lighting of the lantern could hide the way he glowed.

...hm. Ranmaru couldn't help but laugh a little, wiping the other's cheek with his thumb. He still worried about things like that...

"See?"

...

"How... do you feel?"

Takuto still didn't look at him, still covered his mouth... Ranmaru decided to give him a few moments to calm his nerves, and whatever other feelings he could be suppressing right now.

"Can..." Ranmaru hesitated to ask the question. "Can you speak?"

...

Rather than risk embarrassing himself with an attempt, Takuto simply looked down...

Well... that was ok. Ranmaru always did most of the talking anyway.

"We'll work on that next." It was important to remain positive.

Either way, Ranmaru held up the toothbrush, reminding him why they did all of that. "Are you ready?"

It was clear he still didn't like that idea at all.

"Or... do you want to do it yourself?"

...He still wasn't even given eye contact.

"Takuto."

...he finally recieved a glance. Just for a moment... before he looked away again.

That was another thing that hadn't changed. Takuto was always stubborn.

"Hm." Perhaps he just needed someone to give him that extra push, so throwing caution to the wind, Ranmaru simply held Takuto's chin to face him.

"Open." He gently poked and prodded Takuto's pout, and started receiving the usual glares again. "I'm not a child," he could practically hear him thinking. It was amusing, the way his concerns changed, and how they were written all over his face.

Regardless, he eventually cooperated.

It was a bit startling at first. Takuto had been muzzled consistently ever since he changed, so Ranmaru still wasn't used to seeing the four, giant, flesh tearing fangs that definitely weren't there before.

But he remained composed, almost rigidly so, not wanting to make any sudden movements that could make Takuto uncomfortable... or even more uncomfortable.

And, carefully as he could, proceeded brushing--

"!" Takuto clutched onto Ranmaru's wrists, quite painfully so... he didn't quite know his own strength anymore. Ranmaru kept from wincing however, his reaction could ruin everything. He knew he hadn't hurt Takuto in any way... he knew it was just... the fear again. Rising up to torment his mind with "what if"s once again...

...

It... wasn't too late to stop. It wasn't anything that important anyway, just... a thought. Not because it could possible be unsafe for himself but... It was the same thing that caused him to drop the idea last time... that look of pure fear... that look that said-- that begged Ranmaru to stop and retreat to safety before the one person he had got hurt.

"It's ok..." They both calmed down for a moment, a long moment, neither daring to move a muscle.

That was something he once thought he'd never see in Takuto's eyes...

Slowly, even more carefully this time, he proceeded brushing again, letting Takuto hold onto him as much as he wanted. Gently holding his chin whenever he tried to turn away, ignoring his unintelligible protests, ignoring his... growling...

There were a lot of things... Ranmaru never thought he see Takuto do. Like sleeping all day, having such a messy bed head...

...not working incessantly throughout the day, needing Ranmaru to force him to take breaks... ...not speaking his mind whenever something must be said... not speaking to Ranmaru...

...

...not even looking at Ranmaru... hiding himself away from the person who cares for him most... who he cared for even more. And if he did catch his eye, looking as if he would burst into tears any second...

Takuto probably now had the strength to rip his hands off if he wanted, it sure began to feel like he actually would... and that still wouldn't come close to the pain of seeing that, the pain that had been sitting in his heart ever since that one horrid day.

Yet, Ranmaru made sure to never let that smile fall from his face. The fact that Takuto had even allowed him to come this close gave Ranmaru the tiny bit of hope he needed to continue. That's another thing... that hadn't changed.

"...!"

Even still, that pain he felt, he knew... couldn't even begin to match the turmoil Takuto was feeling, especially in this moment. Struggling with his own body, and his own thoughts.

"Hmmmm~ Hmm~"

...

Takuto suddenly stopped fidgeting and looked at Ranmaru.

Ranmaru simply grinned, not looking back, focusing on his job. "You remember that song?"

...

"Remember, you said you heard it once when you were a kid. And It's been stuck in your head ever since. I like hearing you hum it."

...No reply, but Ranmaru could tell Takuto thought about his words.

"That's how it goes right?" And he began humming once again, noticing how Takuto released his grip a tiny bit more every second.

...

"I only bring it up because... while I was searching through the city, all of a sudden I started hearing it. I don't know if you've ever been there, but its this large, luxurious building with many many lights on it. And people crowded around it as far as the eye can see. That's why I love the city, I've never seen anything like that before..."

"..."

"Anyway, I just had to get a look inside to see where it was coming from. It was a little difficult to get through the people but eventually I could see what everyone was talking about."

He paused to dip the brush in oil.

"There was a big stage set up, and tons of people sitting around it. And on the stage were about maybe 20 or 30 people... each one with a different instrument. They were playing the song together..."

Takuto looked as if he understood exactly what Ranmaru was talking about.

"They were nothing like our instruments either, most of them I've never even seen before, some were big and golden, very shiny... and others were thin and black, there were stringed ones too like the ones we usually see... but they played them differently...? They drew a rod across the strings and it created an entirely new sound. It was so loud but, if you listened closely you could hear which sound came from which instrument. The way they managed to come together like that to create one beautiful song really was quite amazing. I think I understand why you always liked that sort of thing."

Takuto looked down in thought, he was barely holding onto Ranmaru's sleeves now.

"I wish you could have seen it... There was one person, standing in front of the entire group, directing them. I could see you doing that easily. That kind of thing was made for you, I know."

"..."

"I wanted to get a closer look, but apparently I needed a..." Ranmaru looked up in thought. "Ticket? I didn't really know how to get one, but that was ok, I didn't really have time for it anyway."

At some point... he'd settled into his task, the previous thoughts of nervousness had faded away. Brushing teeth had finally become as simple as it was meant to be. Maybe even a bit relaxing.

"I'll take you there one day... when you get better. I promise." He smiled.

He could see it written on Takuto's face again: "They'll probably be playing a new song by that time."

"That's ok. I'll just talk to the group and ask them to play the song. I wish I knew the name of it though..."

Takuto looked doubtful.

"I have a way with words," he reassured. "And if that doesn't work... I'd just have to get on stage and play it for you myself. I don't actually know how to play a single instrument," Ranmaru grinned. "But you'd help me with that."

...

...

"See, I told you it was fine." Takuto probably hadn't even noticed the way he'd relaxed, engrossed into Ranmaru's story. The growling and squirming was long gone, he hadn't moved or made a sound, he only stared at Ranmaru curiously. None of these things were new to him, he could probably name every single strange instrument Ranmaru had seen, but still, he took in every detail, only remembering their situation when it was brought up.

"Haven't I always said this to you," he laughed, tenderly holding the other's face. "You're not scary."

With the way Takuto watched his hands, he could tell that nervous feeling would rise up any second now...

"I know you'd never hurt me..." He whispered, continuing to brush rather bravely, not hesitating to hold Takuto's jaw, part his lips with his fingers, thoroughly cleaning every sharp fang, curiously tracing them with his finger. "Even if you did... I know you didn't mean it... I forgive you."

...Takuto's shoulders dropped, and he stared at his own lap, silently.

...

...the conversation seeming to be over, they simply sat in silence together, Takuto letting Ranmaru take all the time he needed to be as ever particular and thorough he wanted to be.

...

...

"I never could stay mad at you anyway..." Ranmaru murmured absentmindedly, dipping the brush in oil again... only looking back up when he felt something drip over his hand.

...

He wondered... if Takuto had been holding back those tears for months... or if this was just the first time he'd been allowed to see them.

Nonetheless, they flowed, dripping onto the floor, thick and heavy as if they contained every ounce of sorrow and regret he had...

...

Ranmaru said nothing, he didn't even move an inch, he simply held the other's cheek softly... still wearing that same smile.

"mm..."

Ranmaru waited... allowing him to speak.

"I...gm..." Takuto hung his head, fists clenched in Ranmaru's lap, through fanged teeth and unending tears, desperately trying to get out the first words he'd spoken to him ever since that fateful day. "Iam... zho..rry...." Even if his words didn't quite work right anymore.

...

Ranmaru put down the brush and held Takuto's red cheeks, guiding him, resting his bed head into his lap. Still smiling, even if he couldn't see it...

And after a moment...

"I'm so proud of you, Taku."

...

Ranmaru was Takuto's only source of comfort now, he knew that, keeping that smile on his face was the most important job of his life right now... the hardest, but the most important.

He gently patted Takuto's head, his hakama getting wet with tears. He couldn't even tell how long he lay crying, but it didn't matter.

...

...

"I know we haven't actually talked much lately but..." Ranmaru turned over his right hand... watching a tiny trail of his own blood trickle over it.

"I'm really glad you're in my life..."

Some things changed... most things didn't.

"Even now."