Hey Everyone,

So I was asked repeatedly on different accounts to share some things about myself that are not tags... So here we go.  My life is kind of sad so if you are sensitive to drug addictions, verbal abuse or homophobia then I suggest you ignore this.

So I was adopted into a "kind" looking family right when I was born because, my biological mother slept around and already had too many kids.

My adoptive mother was/is a total witch.  I am soon turning 14, and she was an addict for 16 years.  So... I got hit with the brunt of it.  My adoptive father,(my biological parents will not come up again), was/is a workaholic.  Honestly it is kinda disturbing. Anyway, my mother always treated my like a burden and always yelled at me.  She would call me names I didn't understand at the time because I was so young.  I am not going into detail about them.

I was treated like this until I was 9, I was in 3rd/4th grade at the time.  She had finally come clean with the fact that she had an addiction and my father was pushing her to go into rehab.  Which she did, for 3 months.  My grandmother (adoptive father's mother) came down to take care of me.  But, I was already hit with a major depression. 

I remember sitting on my bed, talking with her when I came to terms with what I was feeling.  I wanted to kill myself.  When I told her, she was heartbroken, and coming from a Christian family, she was terrified.  But I managed to get her to not tell my dad.  Then she introduced me to something; The Holy Bible.  And I prayed.

The next day I felt lighter and a bit happier but, that pressured weight of depression did not leave.  It still hasn't.

She was clean for a year.

Then she used again.

She went back into rehab for 4 months, I was starting 6th grade.  She had never been there for me and she still isn't.  I forgave her when she came back the first time but, because she used again and really messed up my life, I haven't trusted her since.

My grandmother came down again to help with me and it seemed like she had forgotten all about my suicidal thoughts,(which I still have today).

When my mother came back, she seemed like a nicer person, so I put on a fake smile which I had learned to perfect, and acted happy.  Until 7th grade.

I have trust issues, abandonment issues, and extreme sensitivity to any and all medications.. I have chronic migraines, if you have them you know just how painful they are, and I will not take anything.  No matter how bad it hurts me.

In 7th grade she had pushed me over an edge, I felt threatened because while never hitting me, she was getting more hostile/threatening.  But I knew that I had to get out of that house.  So I ran away.  I was only gone for a few hours, my mother had called me and I ignored her.  The my father called and I picked up.

I love my dad with all my heart. Though he worked all the time, he would find space for me.  Instead of being told nursery rhymes and children's stories.  He read me Shakespeare and Greek mythology.  Both of which I still love and read today.  When I was younger, he would sit me on his lap and we would listen to music.  Then, he gave me a video game, and I had never loved him more.  He knew what I liked/like, he is always involved and accepting. (God I'm crying while writing this)

He came and got me, brought me home.  He was pissed but I knew that he was angry because he was scared.  That's why he cried when I told him I was suicidal.  And that's when I cried because he hugged me and told me he loved me.  I will always treasure that moment.

In 7th grade I also came to terms that I was most definitely not straight.  In elementary school not only did I have crushes on guys, but on girls too.

So in 8th grade(now) when I knew that I got myself figured out, I knew it was time to tell them.

Anyway, so a year after I told them I was suicidal they finally got me a therapist. So I told them there becasue, I knew my father would be accepting but I didn't know about my mother. So when I told them, she didn't say anything. It honestly pissed me off at how ignorant they are about sexualities. I am pansexual. They think that there is only gay. They say that you'll be gay or not when you grow up and I wanted to punch them both so bad.

My dad accepted it immediately but my mother, is really uncomfortable and rude about it. She constantly insults me, more than she used to, but I am proud of my sexuality and I won't let her take that away from me. No matter what.

Anyway that's the main part of my life. I have left out certain details here and there because they are still open wounds and I don't want to get into them.
Thanks for reading.

~Fae