Dear my 'depression'.

Shut Up.
"I am Fine." Stop it. Stop making me say it with pride when it is all just a lie.
Shut up.
Stop forcing me to show who I don't want to be.
Stop telling me everything and nothing at once.
Stop making me myself feel awful and mean.

---
Uncompleted, drafted on FEB 1, 2018

I think this was one of those prompted poems I tried to write earlier this year

This was a while back, but I thought I might as well post my old work anyways. If you're wondering (thanks btw) I think I'm feeling better, but we do all have bad days sometimes.

"Was it the day that was bad or the couple of minutes that you're holding on to that were bad?" -Unknown
---

Because that was the past.
I'm standing up to you now,
Now I'm past my sorrows and regrets.
I refuse to keep punishing myself,
Even when it's all I have left.
I can overpower you,
No longer in need to be trapped in whatever you are inside of me,
Because I'm willing to believe.

So,
Dear my form and version of 'depression',
I'm not even sure you're real.
It's hard to feel you,
So Shut Up.
My dear form and version of Depression has no reason to be here.
Shut up,
I'm not trying to make this sound rude, but it's just that
You, are you.

Listen, depression, just stop it
Get out of my way.
I have few years left of / until freedom.
Let me live out my day.
Let me be with people who make me happy,
Let me enjoy the content that I want to see,
And let me be the person who I truly want to be.
Let me live to be free.

So
Shut Up My Dear 'Depression'.
Only I get to control me.

💛
How was that?