I need to apologize. Not only to you guys, but also to my mom. Because, well, I haven't been completely honest. My mother's really not as terrible as I make her out to be. She tries her hardest to help, and she's a kind, gentle woman. It's just that when I'm angered my mind twists everything to make it ten times worse than it actually is. My mom's no where near the monster I made her out to be. It's all my imagination, making her a monstrous person. Because I'm convinced that I'm not supposed to have people who care about me. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve their care, their time, their attention. To me, I don't deserve anything except anger and ignorance and pain. And so, I push away those who care. Those who give me a moment of time. I'm sorry for lying. I'm sorry for being the melodramatic bitch I've always been. And I'm going to continue being that bitch, just know not everything I say happened exactly as I say it. I'm sorry for lying to you guys. Especially EnderInfinityYT   You deserve so much better than me babe, someone who doesn't lie and doesn't hurt everyone around them. And don't be surprised if I'm not on for a while longer. I really fucked up, so I'm not pushing my luck with asking to talk to everyone again. I'm so so sorry my cheeses.