Old note

I'd like to apologize for not updating for quite some time now. I had a really tough time getting my thoughts together. For the first time in my life this one person made me doubt my abilities as a writer and i've been staring at everything i've written, hating it and thinking it's not good enough. I thought i actually improved over the years but i was downsized in one day. I really felt like sh*t. 

It felt like something was taken away from me. I couldn't make myself type. Every word i put on the page disgusted me and i really felt like i had no talent at all.

Maybe it's because i've been writing as a kid and i've always been praised for my works. I really thought if there is one thing i'm good at it was writing. I never worried if what i wrote was good enough. I took light critics and improved. I felt like i was improving so much. I was so confident.

And then everything fell apart from me. This person didn't have bad intentions but when he gave me critics it was like he was stabbing me. He pinpointed and reviewed every sentence i wrote making me self aware of every word i had written. At that time all i could do was nod and smile since i didn;t want to look like i can't take a critic but when i got home i realized how much it had taken effect. It really took a toll on my mental state and i've never been so afraid to read my own work without hating it. I felt like i could only write garbage and the only thing i was good at was creating the story but not the writing part.

...

i don;t want to make this as an excuse for not updating but i just wanted to apologize sincerely to you guys.