Yeah, yo I'm just gonna write down my first thoughts 
And see where this takes me, 
'Cause I feel like I wanna punch the world in the fuckin' face right now

I should eat a pill, probably I will
Old me kill the new me, watch him bleed to death
I breathe on the mirror, I don't see my breath
Possibly I'm dead, I must be possessed

And I'm harder on myself than you could ever be regardless
What I'll never be is flawless, all I'll ever be is honest
Even when I'm gone they're gonna say I brought it
Even when I hit my forties like a fuckin' alcoholic
With a bottle full of malt liquor
But I couldn't bottle this shit any longer
The fact that I know that I'ma hit my bottom

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Lately I feel so alone
I don't even know why I have a phone
Nobody hits me up and I'm stuck
Never had someone that I could call my, own
It's lonely walking down this, road
Fake friends that I didn't have to, know
The same ones that fucked me over and whenever I need them, and I turn around they just turn ghost
I feel I'm at a all-time low
I am depressed and it hurts me to know
My ex is happy and I can't seem to cope
She's ignoring every text message I wrote
My anxiety is high, my medication is low
I am so stressed and I hate being home
I sit it over, think everything alone
I wish I had somebody to hold, damn
I'm sick and tired of putting up a front
Like I'm happy but really I'm in a slump
I try to stay strong, screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
But if anybody will give it then I'm, the one
I wanna' put down my walls and open up
I hide behind this rapper I've become
Addicted to being accepted like a drug
No ones here I feel like I'm ready to plunge

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*I'm so in my feelings lately and I fucking hate it so damn much. Like, you've moved on...from what I hear you're happy with all your new friends...but here I am, still destroyed, still apart, unable to be put back together, to feel happy again. This isn't fair. Makes me wanna be a bitch, wanna be an asshole, to anyone that makes an attempt 'cause if I destroy it before it starts I won't hurt anymore. Right?? Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck love. Fuck life. I ain't doing this anymore. I can't allow myself to feel anymore. It never brings anything good...just look at my track record. I can't take much more of what this shithole called life keeps pouring into me. I'm so fucking done, I'm exhausted...physically, mentally, emotionally.

I.Just.Can't.Anymore.

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We are who we are because of that shit
So no I don't want to be

In a perfect world
Where nothin' ever goes wrong
Far, far away from here oh
Water from the tears I
Wonder how the other go

Don't nobody think I'm sufficient
And my time is ticking

Fuck bein the norm
Some days I wish it was easier too, but shit we were not born
In a perfect world
Where nothing ever goes wrong
Far, far away from me no
Water from the tears I
Wonder how the other goes

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Yeah, they say when we grow up
You'll understand when you're older
Guess I'm still a kid, I don't know it
If I'll ever let go of this (yeah)
Say goodbye to the old me
We ain't friends anymore, you don't know me
I know I could die any moment
If I do just remember this

Look at the world we live in, defined by comment sections
Surround yourself with people that challenge how you think
Not people that nod their head and act like they agree
Those people will cut you open just to watch you bleed

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I did not believe that it would end, no
Everything came second to the Benzo
You're not even speaking to my friends, no

We were looking forward to the rest of our lives
Used to keep my picture posted by your bedside
Now it's in your dresser with the socks you don't like

I was so broken over you
Life, it goes on, what can you do?
I just wonder what it's gonna take (what's it gonna take?)
Another foreign or a bigger chain (bigger chain)
Because no matter how my life has changed (matter how my life has changed)
I keep on looking back on better days

You probably think that you are better now, better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything
You know I say that I am better now, better now
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything, oh whoa

I promise
I swear to you, I'll be okay
You're only the love of my life