Stories these days are so clichéd.

A main character who thinks they're super ugly, but mysteriously everyone seems to fall in love with them. You know, the typical Mary Sue with an unnecessarily complicated unusual middle name.

Then there's the whole love triangle thing. EVERY BOOK HAS TO HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE TO BE SUCCESSFUL. Duh.

Then there are the not -so- subtle references to movies and TV shows.

So I put everything that seemed to make a book successful all together in one little story, added a dash of sarcasm and contradictory sentences, and voilà! We have the recipe for an amazing story.

Hope you guys enjoy reading this! Remember, this is not to be taken seriously, it's all just a joke :))

Regina Mary Sue Moonflower yawned. She got out of her satin pink bed and walked to her mirror, which was adorned with pink diamonds.

"Ugh! I hate pillow hair!" she exclaimed to herself, as she stared at her boring light brown curly hair, which fell around her shoulders perfectly. She tied her hair with a pink scrunchie as she stared into her blueish purple eyes. Ugh, they were so disgusting!! :(

She went into the bathroom and lowered the toilet seat...

*le time skip*

Regina put on her black skinny jeans with a top that was covered in real diamonds, sapphires and rubies. She felt like dressing simply today. She let her perfectly curled hair fall down her shoulders. Regina decided to put on minimal makeup today, so she just wore basic foundation, with some contouring for her cheekbones, a smoky eye, winged eyeliner, lip liner and finally a bright red lipstick. She finished off her outfit with some glass heels.

"Ugh, why do I always look so ugly!!" She cried.

After a light breakfast of pancakes, waffles, toast with jam and a cup of pumpkin spiced latte, she left for school.

*le time skip*

When she reached school, she saw Ethan. OMGS LIKE HE WAS SO GORGEOUS. "Hi Ethan!!!!" she flashed him a huge grin. Ethan looked uncomfortable. "Uh hi, Regina... Sorry, I can't talk to you any longer, I have to go, I'm gonna be late for Math class..."

OMGS WHY WAS HE SO BORING.

Whatever. Nerd.

"Okay, see you around Ethan!!!" She replied as chirpily as she could.

She turned around to see Damien staring at her. She thought to herself - "Ugh, he's SUCH a creep. Like WHY IS HE SO OBSESSED WITH ME???"

Damien suddenly stirred and turned pink as he realised Regina was looking at him. He awkwardly waved and ran off.

Regina rolled her eyes and strutted down the school hallway. She thought about Ethan. "UGH WHY AM I SO UGLY Y NOBODY LOVE ME :(((" She was very sad.

Just then, she saw her best friends, Amber and Ashley. Omgs they were so cute and they had blond hair like Regina was super jealous.

They giggled when they saw her. "Hi Regina!!" They twittered.

Regina rolled her eyes. Ugh, they were so mean and ungrateful sometimes.

Regina walked towards her locker to get her books. Amber and Ashley followed. WHY WAS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH HER??

UGH SHE WAS SO UGLY AND ALONE.

Regina turned to them angrily. "OMG" she said. "ETHAN IS LIKE IGNORING ME."

"But whyy?? You're so pretty!!" They cried.

"I KNOW" yelled Regina. "Ugh whatever. He's not my type anyways."

They walked to their first class, math. Everyone was seated already. There was only one seat left. IT WAS THE SEAT BEHIND ETHAN OMG REGINA TOTALLY FANGIRLED.

(Amber and Ashley had just disappeared at this point because who cares about sidekicks)

Regina ran towards the seat and sat down. Ethan nearly cried when he saw her but she was totally oblivious.

"HEY ETHAN WATS DA DATE" she yelled into his ear halfway through class.

Ethan cringed. "Uh, 3rd October" he replied.

"OK THNX" Regina grinned.

*le time skip to lunch*

Regina walked into the cafeteria. She got a tray of food and looked around for a place to sit. She saw Amber and Ashley waving at her. Regina rolled her eyes and went to sit with them.

"OMGS ETHAN'S COMING HERE" Amber screeched.

"OMGS DAMIEN'S STARING AT YOU" Ashley shouted.

"UGH I HATE DAMIEN WHY DOES HE KEEP STARING LIKE WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM" Regina cried as she continued to stare at Ethan.

He was walking towards her, getting closer and closer, and then he passed her.

He walked on to the table next to them, where the creepy guy Damien was sitting.

AND THEY KISSED.

"WHAT" screamed Regina, Amber and Ashley at the same time.

Ethan and Damien looked at them, as if noticing them for the first time.

(Everyone else in the school cafeteria had mysteriously disappeared)

"What?" asked Ethan, innocently.

"Y-you're GAY??" Regina burst into tears.

Amber and Ashley looked confused. They didn't know what to do, so they started crying too.

Damien and Ethan shrugged. They looked at each other, totally in love.

Then they skipped off over the horizon, under a rainbow, singing " #DAMITHAN FOR LIFE!!! 1!!"

*le end*