You're telling me it's been a year?
I believe it but at the same time I don't. I remember it all too well. The pain and sadness that was never ending.
But at the same time, so much has happened since those two days that makes me also believe it has been a year.

A year ago today was a regular Tuesday. I had just finished school and couldn't wait to go on Wattpad. I also remember wanting to message you in particular. But instead saw a message from your sister from that morning saying you had passed.
Even though I knew you were ill and you had said it got way worse, I had denyed the fact that you would actually go. I was in denial that it was a possibility for a while.

That weekend...I should have talked to you. I would have. I wanted to but I was caught up with something going on with my friends. I regret it so much.

I was crying so much. Of course I was. We were so close. You were like a sister to me. We had such fun talking. I remember it.
We would talk about so much.
All I have left is the memories. Of course Wattpad won't show me all our old long conversations. That hurts so much. All I have left is a few conversations from when you started going inactive.
(Honestly if any of you know how to get old PMs back, please tell me)

So I had to go to school the next day. I wondered if I'd be able to put on a fake smile and not burst into tears.
I was quiet all day, saying hardly anything.
At lunchtime I told my closest friend (at the time, not now) about it. I also mentioned how my rabbit was ill and I didn't know how how I would deal with it as well.
(By the way, losing a pet is harder than it sounds. They are unjudgemental and just part of the family. Especially if they've been there as long as you remember)

I got home to my sad parents, telling me how Fluffy was in so much pain that the vet had to put him down.

I ran off straight away. Right to my bedroom.

I still miss them both like crazy. I was still upset for ages.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Just letting you all know although I wrote a chapter about it when it actually happened...
Just using this book as somewhere to write my emotions.

To be fair, I'm pretty sure this is about when I stopped going on Wattpad much. I go on everyday but only for like two minutes.
I'm not going to leave. Too many memories and friends.
Just letting you know that I still don't think I'm going to go back to writing any books anytime soon.

I miss you AmythstWaves
And you too Fluffy

This time a year ago, I think the only thing that really helped me through it was Taylor's music.

It still is hard to think that I can never speak to you again. Like I ca  do nothing at all about that.
Life is so hard.

What if that miracle was just getting one more moment with you?

Sorry for this whole emotional mess of a chapter.
I hope everything is okay with all of you. You can message me anytime.

💙💙💙