.... I wish I could turn back time... To when we were still together and laughing... crying... having fun... helping eachother...

[Turn back in time...?]

Well it can't be helped since everyone wanted to turn back time too to make things right again.... Either I turn back time before we drifted apart to avoid the conflicts.... or turn back time to when I was still innocent and bubbly... Telling myself not to choose the wrong path... the wrong decisions.... avoid the conflicts... but it can't be helped... nothing can be helped as everything was fated to be by destiny...

[Avoid our Conflicts...?]

Is this.... destiny...? I would say that this was such a bitter destiny but... I wouldn't blame as it was meant to be like this... if I knew it was going to end up like this....

[Such a Bitter Destiny...]

Everything is just as sombre and dark as it is.... As dark as my soul could be... As sombre as my mind could be.... Thoughts swirled around, making everything as hectoc, if not, chaotic....

[INSANITY]

As sad as it can be,
How long could I last?
As dark as it can be,
In a darkness so vast?

Cast out by society,
The void is vast,
No trace of light or honesty,
I am such an Outcast,

I thought I belonged,
I thought we could forever stay,
Left out and abandoned,
In the darkness is where I now lay,

Physically bruised,
Mentally scarred,
What more can I say?
Life is always as hard,

..... Sigh... I know... I'm bad at writing poems... but then.... well, what can I say...? I'm always hating myself...

Time by time, Day by day.... As time goes on, It will never delay...

..... Can't I just die already...? I just wanted to die without anyone even remembering me but... I guess that's how life is... There's always someone who will never forget you....

Yet I doubted that... I doubt anyone would remember me.... I'm just a waste of space, a burden on their shoulders.... a bitter memory.... Such a bitter memory.... Forget about me, just forget about me already.... Why do you want to remember me? Aren't I am such a burden to you and your life...? I only drag you down, let you down... I couldn't help anyone nor you... Why... Why... Why do you want to remember me...?

........

I feel guilty everytime, everyday.... I want to be left alone but at the same time, I don't want to... I draw and draw and draw to keep myself calm, my sanity contained and my demons tamed... Even if I have to draw.... my guilty pleasures.... OC x Characters.... Knowing about........ Nevermind... I just don't feel the same as before... After seeing.... Ugh....... One of the reasons why I kinda dislike........ Nevermind..... I feel guilty.... so much guilt.... even from the past.... My head hurts....

I hardly even smilr as much as before anymore.... Where did my smile go...? Was I truly happy before? Or had I been faking everything so that I seem alright...? Had I been faking all along? Just so I could cover up my tears....? My feelings...? My scars...? Had I been putting up a facade just to mask my true self...?

Do I... really feel like.... I belong...? Do I... really.. belong...? Or am I just.... an abandoned waste of space...? The feeling of wanting to be belonged to somebody but then.... reality just hits you and you just feel.....abandoned..... I thought we could stay together but I guess.... Everything has to end... Everything has to come to an end....

.......

*sigh.....*

"I just wanna sleep and never wake up.... I just wanna be trapped in my ideal dream... A dream where my fantasy has come to life... Living in my fantasy world.... I wish... I could just.... stay asleep forever...."

"...Peace and Quiet..."
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Kiyiana: ..... *sigh...* Negative again...

FemKi: ..... She has more inside but... I guess this is all she can... let it out...

MaleKi: Hmph.... Let's let her rest.... She is tired... Physically and mentally...

Aikochi: Uuuuuu.... E.Kia-chwan....