At least that's how my band teacher puts it.

Before we begin I must introduce you to my new weapon:

First its snazzy case... which as refer to as my sniper rifle case.

Now the weapon itself... the Alto Clarinet. With a +2 bonus to headaches.

Every year our marching band competes in the Pageant of the Bands. We take home some nice trophies, and there's some other competitions such as Jazz Ensemble, Small Ensemble and Concert Band. This is the first time in a few years our teacher is having us compete in all of them.

So Friday he was talking to us before we started class. He handed us our song... errr set of songs. Second Suite in F.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

We're doing the first movement, J don't know if we're doing the others.

Anyway, the teacher tells the other girls their parts and then looks at me, "I want you on Alto," He says.

There may or may not have been a look of fear on my face, and one of the girls leans over, "You look so scared," She says.

I felt a little nervous, yet excited. We end up deciding on Monday's for ensemble practice.

I show up today, and the bass clarinetist and band teacher show me the Alto.

Lemme tell you... it's an entirely different world from the B flat clarinet.

It's bigger, and I'm using a saxophone mouth piece. Then you need to apply more pressure and blow harder.... phrasing.

Well I'm sitting next to the bass clarinetist whom we shall call Tina.

Tina is also at my bs stop. Tina is nice.

She gave me a bunch of pointers... like how the reed needs to be really wet, and how I need to have my mouth on the mouth piece differently.

I barley popped any notes and I looked like an incompetent clarinet player. It was embarrassing... then I couldn't take it apart. I need some cork grease...

After the practice I'm talking with my teacher and Tina. He tells me that if I'm two weeks I can't stand it, he has someone else. We end up talking about how tall different then he says this to me:

I kinda threw you to the wolves there. It's a weird piece and it's your first time on the instrument.

Yeah... we had all these cool clarinet players and this was me:

Squeak! Blowing noises only I can hear. Misplaced note. Squeak!

Joy....

Well after I get home I do my homework, have my coffee, grab my case, music, and a bottle of water and sit down in my room for a bit over an hour and a half.

I left with the following:

-A headache.

-Two empty water bottles.

-A name for my Alto, Claude.

-The ability to do my scales and play part of the song.

-A love hate relationship with Claude.

-Less of my sanity.

I like it, it's different. Maybe if I get good enough at it I'll ask my teacher if I can play it for concert band next year.

But that headache though... lasted pretty much all during that practice...

I think I might practice again now...