I want to do bad things, bad things
But if I do I'll ruin everything
All the progress I tried to make
Go back to the beginning and start again

All the things I try to forget
The universe won't let
Leave my mind for too long
I need to be reminded of where it went wrong

I struggle to motivate
Every activity fills me with distaste
Even here I am in pain
Hoping not to have to start again

Because I want to do bad things, bad things
But I don't want to ruin everything
I'm not sure who to talk to
I really don't want to bother you

I don't want to pretend
I just want this to end
I feel bad bottling it up
It's not like I want to close up

I'm making a scene
Over exaggerating like it's a dream
Or rather a nightmare
But it's not, it's life and it's out there

I want to do bad things, bad things
But I don't want to ruin everything
I'm tired of this constant noise
All it does is annoy and annoy

My reflection isn't me
I swear I saw it blink you see
Emptiness
Numbness

I don't want to draw attention
I'm not depressed, just sick of the tension
I'm okay, I promise, I swear I am
My thoughts almost work in anagrams

Yeah, I want to do bad things, bad things
But I don't want to ruin everything
I've got an urge that's hard to repress
It grows as I continue to digress

I just want to sleep but my mind's wide awake
I want to forget I'll do anything it takes
As I tear open my skin
I temporarily can forget everything
Is that a metaphor? Truth is I don't know
It could be real or just a joke
I shouldn't underestimate what I can do
On the nights where I start again to miss you

So I want to do bad things, bad things
But I don't want to ruin everything
I don't want to have to start again
So I'll just have to suffer differently to how I did back then

Yo I almost did something bad but I wrote instead. I still feel bad but I'm going to try and get some sleep now. My sleeping schedule has been a bit shit recently. Don't mind me or this. I'll be okay.

On another note I saw the Incredibles 2 today. It was good and made me happy until, afterwards, Instagram decided to randomly notify me about something my ex girlfriend had tagged me in when we had been dating. So my mood declined rapidly and now I'm just sad. But hey we're all sad sometimes, right? I'll be fine :)