But it's TOO DAMN SAD and you're TRYING NOT TO CRY because IT'S STUPID AND YOU SHOULD'T CRY over MELTED NICE CREAM 

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY DID I MAKE THIS STORY SO GOD DAMN SAD

FUCK ME

NO DON'T YOU FUCKING PERV

I HAVE PEPPERMINTS

I WILL THROW THEM IN YOUR EYES