Someone let the giant wooden doors bang shut, the noise echoing through the halls; all the way up to the library. You knew at once it had to be the big entry doors, because none of the other doors made such a deep and loud bang like they did. And no other noise promised trouble like they did, most of the time.

It's been a long time since you've heard someone enter these doors. No one really came here since- since everyone disappeared. Steve would sometimes check in on you, but he had a lot on his plate as well. Already after the first two years the Sanctum fell silent. Barely any visitors, no one came to the Sanctum to consult the Sorcerer Supreme.
He was gone, dead like all the others. For the longest of times you didn't even know how he died, until Tony came back and told you everything. Dusted like Spiderman.
You wished you could leave the Sanctum, but there were too many memories that you just couldn't leave behind.
The first time you entered the great halls of the Sanctum Sanctorum, the first time Stephen gave you a big tour, the first time you hung out together in the library, the first time you slept there, when you moved in with him, your first training, the first fight you had in here. The many sweet little things that had happend over the years in here. His proposal. It became your home, because wherever he was, was your home. Then Stephen didn't come back and your world how you knew it fell apart.

You stayed in your seat, sipping on a dirty glass of scotch. You really didn't need another stupid citizen asking for your help. Many had come to consult you, in hopes you could help them like your husband did. But you weren't the Sorcerer Supreme. You struggled to even open a portal or form a simple weapon. Stephen said you'd work on that as soon as he defeated Thanos. So much for that.
Since the doors banged shut, you didn't hear anything, so you shouted an annoyed and slurred "library", into the general direction of the entry halls. No answer. Instead bright orange sparks started to form midair, right in front of your favourite armchair. A bit out of control you spun your head to the opening portal, the world looking funny for a second- you were on your fifth glass and 40 hours in without any sleep.
Through the orange sparks stumbled- Stephen? You froze. Your heart picked up speed. You got hot and cold at the same time. You couldn't breathe, no matter how much air you tried to breathe in it just got caught in your throat. You felt sick. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be him. Tears formed in your eyes. Your chest heaved with rapid attempts to get oxygen, to think, to figure out what was happening right now.
You looked at the figure that stumbled through the portal. His face was bloody, open wounds. He looked exhausted and tired. The very second you could see him properly, you knew at once it was him. Even if it wasn't, you didn't care anymore. Literally throwing yourself into his arms made him almost stumble back through the portal, before it closed only seconds later.
You dug your fingers into his cloak like an eagle, probably even slightly hurting him. You couldn't believe he stood here, in front of you. Stephen clung to you as well, like his life depended on it. You felt how you started hyperventilating, your breath getting stuck in your throat. Numbness spread over your face, making your cheeks tingly. Hot tears ran over your chin, mixing with snot. It was ugly, really. But he was back. Stephen, your husband. Was. Back.

It took awhile until you could let go of each other. You didn't really know what to say. Neither did he. He looked really lost. Out of place, like he didn't know what to do. He looked hurt, not just physically. His eyes stone cold, all the love you remembered seeing in them was wiped away.
"Did you blip?", you suddenly blurted out. You had to hear it from him.
"What?", he looked confused.
"That's-", you sniffled, "that's what they called it. When people just dissolved into dust."
His lips were tightly pressed together. He looked so hurt, you couldn't stand the look of him right now. You wanted to be happy that he was back. You wanted him to hold you in his strong arms, maybe even pick you up and swirl you around, just like it would happen in a good romantic movie. Instead he stood there and you had to hold him.
You were happy either way. You had him back, he was alive. Then he nodded, barely noticeable.  So he blipped.

The silence was deafening. You wished you knew what to say. Maybe five years ago you would've known what to say, but now he seemed like a stranger. You wondered how the blip felt. Did he blip somewhere? Was it like passing out? Did he remember anything? Does he know it had been five years? What happened to Thanos? Did they defeat him? Just... what happened?
You had so many questions, but you still knew him well enough to sense that right now wasn't the right time.

You sighed quietly, not knowing where to look. Stephen looked anywhere but at you, though he still clasped to your sleeve with one hand. You swallowed and cleared your throat carefully, for some reason you didn't want to be too loud. You feared you could somehow set something off  in any kind of way. You started to lead him to the armchair you sat in just a couple of minutes ago.
Stephen's cloak had released itself quietly from his shoulders, giving him more room to get comfortable and space to start to feel at home. Unconsciously you nodded in its general direction, where it levitated in a corner, as a thank you.

The usually oh so proud Stephen Strange downed the rest of your glass without any hesitation and and grunted angrily as the liquid burned its way down his throat. He instantly refilled it and repeated the process four times, without giving himself any kind of break, until he finally just downed half of the glass. He held the glass in a tight grip, his hand starting to shake slightly. With tears in his eyes and a clenched jaw he looked up at you.
Just seeing your husband like this made you tear up as well. You bit your bottom lip, trying your best not to start sobbing. That wouldn't solve anything right now either. Stephen quickly looked away again, staring into the air. He bit on his into a fist balled index finger, obviously trying his best not to start bawling either.
"I knew it all along, (N/N)", he suddenly said. His voice immediately broke. Hearing the nickname for the first time in five years- your breath hitched and you clung tighter to yourself. You had no idea what he was talking about, so you just stayed silent and gave him all the time he needed. He inhaled heavily, stagnantly, before he dared to speak again.
"He's gone", Stephen breathed out, barely audible.
Your throat started to feel tighter and tighter, that kind of tightness that could only be released if you burst out sobbing, making it possible to breathe again. You didn't want to know who he was talking about. You just didn't want to know. Yet you also had a feeling who would be one to sacrifice himself in such a battle.. which is exactly why you didn't want to know.

He balled his fist angrily, making his knuckles pop out white. He looked at his trembling hand in disgust, clenching and unclenching it, as if it would make the aching and trembling go away. Since his accident it never fully went away, casting spells helped, stress and emotional ballast made it worse. Sometimes you had to learn it the hard way over the years, especially when he would get self destructive.
You watched him swallow a couple of times, trying to speak, then clearing his throat. You could imagine the lump in his throat right now. "Tell me", you just had to know. You had to know it wasn't him. "I told him we had only one chance", his voice was soft, barely audible. "Only one way to save the universe. I saw it, Y/N. I saw every possible outcome and only one meant we would win. It's my fault I-"
"Tell me, Stephen", you tried your best to stay calm.
He inhaled heavily. Then he looked carefully at you. "Tony... it's Tony. I'm so-"
You could see his lips still moving, but the world turned silent for you. Your head felt like cotton candy. Suddenly it became too heavy for your body to carry and you started swaying. Your breath hitched. You felt a wave of goose bumps rushing down your body, but you didn't register it. You didn't comprehend what he meant. Tony was gone? You still had the memory of him laughing in his lab at a joke you made, like it was yesterday. One of his sarcastic remarks still echoed in your head.

"I took an oath to save lives, (Y/N)! I became a fucking doctor to help people, not kill them! I swore to never kill again and now I did! You don't understand what it's like! You don't have any idea what I have to go through you know nothing! I had mothers bawl their eyes out into my shoulders because I saved their children in surgeries that took 14 hours!", he was towering over you, tears running down his face. You regretted saying anything.
You looked up at him. His chest heaved, you watched his jaw clench and unclench as he stared you into your eyes. Slowly but surely his breathing got calmer and his eyes didn't look like a tsunami anymore.
Like it was your fault he loosened his grip on your shirt by shoving you a few inches away.
He looked away and swallowed audibly.
"You don't know what it's like, (N/N)", he repeated, more softly this time. "I just killed Tony Stark."
Stephen let himself fall back down into the armchair and threw his face into his palms, his elbows resting on his knees. His knuckles pressed into his eye balls, an old habit.

You cautiously stumbled over to him. It still seemed surreal. This certainly wasn't how you imagined this day to go. You got your husband back, but lost one of your best friends at the same time. You kneeled down in front of him and cupped his cheeks. "You didn't, my love", you said. Stephen shot you a doubtful look. He really didn't, did he?
"There wasn't any other way, you said it yourself." Stick to stuff you actually believe, you told yourself quietly. You hadn't been there, Tony's accounts of the happenings on Titan had been vague. Slowly an idea began to sprout at the back of your mind. What if Stephen had lied? What if there had been more than one outcome? You wanted to believe him, you had to. Because otherwise the love of your life, whom you have dreaded to see again for five years, would be a murderer, to put it directly. Not only would he have left you to be alone again, but he also took Tony from you.
You tried your hardest not to blame him as well. The next ten minutes were spent in silence. Your palms still cupped his cheeks, at some point he had moved his trembling hands over yours and clasped onto them. You moved closer. His forehead pressed against yours.
He had to tell the truth. He just had to. And you had to believe it yourself right now, otherwise you'd go mental any second. You trusted him with your live and you trusted his abilities. "You saw it. I trust you, love." It came out barely audible.
"It was his destiny." Stephen kept his eyes closed and forced himseld to breathe calmly. "I think it secretly was his wish to go out like that. In a big final battle. Save everyone. Be the big hero, you know." You grinned bitter-sweetly. Stephens mouth curled a bit upwards as well, "Yeah. He really seems like that kinda guy."

Ok. It's been way too long, pls forgive me haha. I'm not 100% happy with the chapter yet, so I might change some stuff, but I just wanted to end the pause.
Someone requested Dr Strange, so here you go, I hope you like it :)