(Synergy angst cause I felt like it-)
(Song: Male version of :( )
(Tw: Mentions of self harm and sexual assault)

You know what they say..sometimes love ain't so pretty..

The figure clung to his pillow, His body sore, especially his arms and neck.

A purple bruised ring shone in the dim light that his phone gave to the darkness in his room, completely circling his neck.

No...is what he said...but to what exactly?

Well as he could recall through his blurry eyes and emotion fogged mind it had been one specific Thing.

He had been walking home from work..and someone had called to him...someone who knew of his years old reputation. What he used to do...what he used to..sell in a sense.

They wanted that sevice that was no longer offered. It hadn't been offered in years...and it almost seemed like they were very well aware of that fact.

But they didn't care..

They came to him, demanded that they could have the sevice they demanded and requested for, Only to be denied harshly By synergy.

Of course he would though..there had only been one reason he did that service..only one thing he had been looking for..

Love

He had offered that service in Hope's it would bring him love in his time of heart break..hoping the person would stay with him after...They promised they would after all...but they never did..

And he quit after a while. He couldn't take anymore of it. He just wanted love. But all he ever got was heartbreak..

This person didn't know that..and they clearly wouldn't have cared..

They forced themselves on him...choking him against a wall as they stole a kiss that he didn't want to give...

It can break you if you let it..

It had by now. His heart wanted to be happy for them..they were his friends After all. How could he not be happy For them..they were happy together..and that's all he could ask for..

But yet..he wasn't truly happy...everytime he saw them so happy together..it did bring him joy..but it also brought him pain...longing..sadness...self hate..Anger..

But he always just pretended he was okay. He tried to pretend he didn't need love...didn't..want..it.

Yet..he knew he was lying to himself...he knew how much he wanted to feel endless love..to even know..what it felt like to be held close and be able to feel how loved he is.

Everything that you put in it..fight all day..

Synergy stared into the mirror, His hair messy and his eyes showing bags under them, tears glazed over his eyes as he stared into the reflective surface..trying not to focus on the glowing green that left his arms.

Black overwhelmed his sight And his body falls to the floor.

Feels more wrong then it feels right..

Blood...it was his own...of course...he had resulted to that once again...why had he..why had he done it again..

Blood on the counter..?..and his head..?.. oh..

He had hit his head on the sink counter when he passed out it seems. Didn't really matter..what was one more injury after all?

He just needed to clean this up before the happy couple came to visit again and saw the mess.

They couldn't know..

They just couldn't...

The amount of shame that would drown him should they ever find out about what he has done..

Oh baby..it's so painful..

He stared at his friend as his friend chatted on and on about How happy he was with his boyfriend and how great their relationship was.

He believed him..he had seen them happy..he had watched them be happy..

But it didn't Get rid of his wants nothingless...

He wasn't a homewrecker in any shape or form...He didn't want to steal one and leave the other with the pain of heartbreak.

He couldn't do that to them...he had taken so much of it Anyway..he doubts he could give it to people he cares about..

No he didn't want to break the happy couple..he wanted to be in it...to be with the both of them...

I can't face the morning..

Soft sobs rang out into the air as Synergy held his pillow, his body shaking and quivering.

The room was cold but he couldn't care less, the pain inside and the loneliness he constantly felt only made the room feel much colder.

He felt so..greedy...for wanting their love...for wanting to show them his love and have it returned...his heart hurt so badly..And he couldn't shake the negative thoughts that racked his mind.

"I'm not worth it.."