For: booklover311921

If You Ever Forget That You Love Me
Isak Danielson

Allistair and Gabrielle

Time has slowed for them.
Their grandchildren played in their yard during their annual summer visit to their cabin.
Their oldest, Soren's daughter, bossing the others around.
Their youngest, Hope's son, crawling in the grass under the watchful eye of his daughter.
He smiled and took his wife's hand as they watched from the porch.

-𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔-
-𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑛-

"Why must I go through with this?"

He was dreading the announcement.

This is not what he wanted.

"Prince Allistair will be hosting his very own Selection!"

No.

"Every eligible maiden can apply for a chance to be selected!"

"Because it is your duty."

-𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡-
-𝑊𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒-

"Why don't you tell me a little about yourself."

The way she spoke...

Clearly.

Thoughtfully.

He could listen to her speak for hours.

She spoke an ancient tongue so fluently.

She had a story that was purely her own.

"Am I talking too much? I can stop."

"No, you're just fine."

-𝐼 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ-
-𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡-

"What are you? What has your family not taken from you?"

It was supposed to be a nice evening.

But of course he had to ruin it by confessing his feelings.

He knew she wasn't ready and yet...

He still did it.

Now here they stood...

A peaceful dinner now ruined by his own stupidity.

He loved her...

And it hurt him to see her in pain like this...

But what could he do?

He tried not to pace as he waited for her to respond...

"I don't know."

"You are only your house if you let them define you."

What was he doing?

He couldn't stop...

Not now.

He was usually slow to anger...

But he couldn't stand it.

She was shutting him out.

Let his confession go to hell for all he cared.

What he couldn't stand was Gabrielle not letting him in.

Someone who could help her.

Someone who wanted to help her.

So he shut down...

And said the first thing that came to mind.

"Maybe I was wrong about you."

"Maybe you were."

-𝐼 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠-

"It's my fault, isn't it? That you're here."

"What?"

Why would she ever think that?

How could he ever blame her for something she had no control over?

The rebel attack...

He had been shot twice...

Not fatally.

He was here...

Holding her hand in his...

Alive.

Her hand was soft and delicate.

So different from his own rough fingers and calloused palms.

He loved her...

Why would he ever blame her?

"Don't blame yourself."

She had no control over the attack...

"It's not that easy."

The guilt she felt...

It tore at him.

Why?

Why did his father have to be so cruel?

Regardless of the rebel attack, his father knew what the rebel alone would do to her mind.

Then his own guilt...

What he has put her through in the minutes and hours he sat bleeding...

Away from her...

No one knowing what had become of him until he was found?

"I promise I won't ever worry you again."

"I think we both know that's an impossible promise."

-𝐴 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡-

"Will you marry me?"

He had laid his heart out.

He truly...

Deeply...

Loved her.

They had been through so much during the Selection

And now it was time.

He could not get down on one knee.

He did not even have the ring with him.

He was unprepared as he blurted out what his intentions were.

He paused...

And waited...

Until the word that set his heart ablaze with even more love...

"Yes."

-𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑑𝑎𝑦-

"To have and to hold."

She had come down the aisle...

And all he could do was look at her.

She was absolutely beautiful.

The rest of the world did not exist.

They did not matter.

It was only him...

And her...

And their future.

Any doubt he had the night before was gone.

She stayed.

He glanced at her through the whole ceremony, not paying attention to what the priest was saying.

He mouthed how much he loved her...

How stunning she looked.

There were no words.

Just the undying love in his eyes.

"Till death do us part."

-𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠-

"Stop shutting me out!"

What had he done?

It was all too much.

Words had been exchanged.

Anger.

But not for her...

Not because of her.

The pressure...

So much pressure.

She could never understand.

It was the meeting...

The anger of the other lords...

Their demand for change...

For an heir...

So many problems...

And he was creating some of them.

And he was taking it all out on her.

"You will never understand."

-𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒-
-𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑢𝑠-

"Allistair"

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

He wasted no time as he rushed to her side...

And wrapped his arms around her.

She was unreadable as she spoke...

Almost afraid.

He feared the worst.

Was she leaving?

Was she dying?

No.

He would not allow either of those to happen.

Then...

Pure joy.

Two words.

Two words that would change their family of two...

Into three.

He smiled like an idiot as he held her...

Placed a hand on her stomach...

As if he could already feel the babe inside.

Then he breathed the words...

To reassure himself this was true.

"You're pregnant."

-𝑆𝑜 𝐼 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑘𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒-
-𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒-

"To one year"

They were restricted for what they could do.

Only a few more months.

Her stomach swollen with child.

They had made it this far.

Many had told them they wouldn't last.

Yet here they sat...

Drinks in their hands as they toasted.

"And many more"

-𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒-
-𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒-

"You can do it."

He pressed a kiss to her soaked forehead...

Her face contorted with pain.

He hasn't once left her side.

Sitting here as labor started...

And now only moments away from meeting his child.

Holding her hand...

He would not leave.

"Push!"

The nurses instructed.

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

There was blood...

And his love was screaming in pain...

And he was helpless.

Using his other hand, he brushed it across her forehead.

His mouth stayed close to her ear...

Whispering...

"You can do this. I love you."

There were no other words to say.

He was met with a scream from her as she pushed once more.

Then...

A cry.

A baby's cry.

A son.

He was crying as well as he kissed his love.

"It's a boy."

Then he was given his son.

So small in his arms...

So fragile...

But strong.

He held his son...

Cradling a tiny infant who wailed for his mother.

Nothing but love and wonder shining in his eyes.

He placed him on her chest...

And his son calmed.

His tears would not stop as he sat next to her...

His heart swells as he watched his son open his eyes.

"Our son."

"He's perfect."

-𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑘-
-𝑇𝑜𝑜 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡-

"You missed dinner. Again."

Had he really worked that long?

He shook his head as he shrugged off his jacket.

The clock chimed...

Midnight.

Shit.

He had no words...

No excuses.

Their infant daughter laid in the crib.

She must have been up...

And his love with her.

"You promised no more late nights."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not enough, Allistair."

She was right.

She is always right.

"What do you want me to do?"

It was a serious question.

He could not drop everything all of the time.

It was impossible.

"Be here when I need you most."

"You've done fine without me."

He shouldn't have said anything.

He really shouldn't have said that.

He watched as her face hardened.

"Maybe I'm fine. But our children aren't."

No words.

"At least be here for them."

"I'm sorry that I'm trying to rule a country here."

How could she understand?

There was more stress on him as king.

"I'm sure work can wait one night."

"Gabrielle, please."

"No. You don't get to 'please' me. Our children deserve their father."

"Our children will be fine for one night."

His voice was rising...

But hers wasn't.

"But it is every night, Allistair."

"No it isn't."

Then a baby's cry.

Charlotte's cry.

He had woken her with his voice.

He had forgotten she was asleep.

His love sighed...

And moved past him to care for their daughter.

"Good job, Allistair."

-𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡-
-𝑇𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠-

"For the queen."

She was right.

She was always right.

He stayed away the rest of that night.

Listened from his old room...

As his daughter's cries quieted...

As his love went back to bed.

He stayed up all night.

Watched as the sun rose.

He had to apologize...

He always apologized first...

Not bearing to fight with her for long...

And because it was his fault.

So he had a vase of her favorite flowers be placed in her office...

Then went out to find her in the gardens...

Their son playing in the grass...

And Charlotte trying to navigate the world with her eyes...

Trying to push herself up with her arms.

With another bouquet of flowers...

He approached.

"I am so sorry."

-𝐶𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑔𝑒-

"No!"

Her shout was loud enough to wake him from sleep.

She wasn't in bed.

The sun had barely risen.

He immediately threw back the sheets and frantically looked around.

The light in the bathroom.

Then the sobs.

She was in the bathroom...

Curled in a ball on the floor.

Blood...

Too much blood.

"Gabrielle."

He said nothing else as he sat on the floor and pulled her into his lap.

He let her cry...

Allowed her let everything out.

"She's gone."

It didn't register then...

And it wouldn't until later...

Until it had been confirmed.

They were quiet for a long time.

He hadn't cried...

Not yet.

He couldn't.

It was too much.

But he had to be there...

For her.

"Please don't shut me out."

-𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑒-

"It's too early."

He let out a low laugh.

The light was beginning to filter into their room.

With his head propped up on his fist...

His other hand trailing softly over her bare shoulder and down to her hip.

Memories of last night slowly coming back to him.

How their clothes ended on the floor...

How the sheets got tangled around them.

It was good for them to take time for themselves.

He trailed butterfly kisses from her ear down to her shoulder...

Getting a small reaction from her.

He planned to spend more time alone...

With just her.

Until the door opened...

And two sets of feet came running in...

Then soft giggling.

Before they pounced on the bed.

He laughed at their children's attack.

And he could hear his wife's smile as she shrieked at their children...

"No!"

-𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡- -𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑒-

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Allistair."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing."

"Everything will be fine."

"Don't shut me out."

"It's fine. I promise."

-𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼'𝑚 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢-
-𝑊𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑝 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡-

"How did I not know?"

It broke his heart.

Seeing his son in so much pain.

How had he not known?

His son had been in love...

And now he was suffering.

It hurt him.

He should have been better...

Seen the signs.

He looked at his love...

His wife...

He was lost.

And so was she.

"None of us knew."

-𝑆𝑜 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑎 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟-
-𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒-

"I love you."

A simple note.

Slid under the door.

He hated to be away.

Especially now.

But he had to let her know.

Not a minute later...

Another piece of paper was slid back under the door.

"I love you too."

-𝐶𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑚 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜- -𝑛𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑-

"Hope."

Their daughter.

Perfect.

The baby gurgled...

And began to crawl across the floor to her mother who sat across from her.

Then the door opened...

And he walked into the nursery.

He smiled at his daughter who looked up to him.

Then her previous task was abandoned...

And she began to crawl to her father...

Who lifted her up and spun her around.

The baby laughed.

"Two of my favorite ladies."

-𝑆𝑜 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒-
-𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑤-

"It's time."

Their son was married...

And was beginning to adjust to his new life.

There was nothing in his mind that would doubt his decision.

It was time for them to step down...

And allow his son and his wife to rise in their place.

"Are you sure?"

He smiled at his wife...

Who had only grown even more beautiful as she aged...

And took her hand.

"I'm positive."

-𝑆𝑜 𝐼 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑘𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒-
-𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒-

"To the future, my love."

"To the future."