Im feeling a feeling which is completely devoid of feeling. I think "Numb" comes best to describing it but i dont think it is that, atleast not exactly. I feel... even. I feel like im in a completely even state of mind, neither sad, happy nor anything. I feel completely neutral. I feel like im stuck in emotion purgatory.

And i hate it. I feel unmotivated and unproductive. I know i should do something but i cant find the energy to. I want to be as idle as my feelings are right now and sit on the bicycle in my balcony watching the rain drops drip off of the leaves on the trees. I want to sit on a chair, turn on some music and just... be. I want to feel enough to be motivated enough to finish writing this.

And i dont know how the hell i can stop this. I've tried giving it time to see if it passes but it only seems to suck me in more and more. Ive tried indulging myself to my favourite videos on youtube and my favourite food and while that makes me happy for the time being, i soon return to that numb even state of mind. I've tried going out, talking to other people, doing stuff with my friends etc but nothing seems to work.

I suppose it is nice in a way, i wouldnt mind it if it hadnt been at such an inopportune moment. If it had been any other time, I would've been quite happy and would've waited for it pass if i wasnt, as all feelings do. However, I cannot afford to be lazy right now. I have important work which needs to be done. I know this. But still, i just cant find the energy to do anything.

What do you call this sort of feeling and how do you get out of it?