A few weeks ago, a small little spider, no bigger than a pea, appeared on the top of our stairway ceiling. It seemed to have had made its home there, swinging around nonchalantly on its little web.

Now, I am an arachnophobe. Even the sight of a spider, big or small, sets my heart beating faster and my breath becomes shorter. I really can't explain why though. It is completely irrational and I am fully aware of that fact, yet I am afraid nonetheless. Anyway, thats besides the point.

So naturally, I'd been the first to notice ceiling spider. When I had done so, I, being myself, of course felt very uncomfortable at its presence. I didn't like the idea of noticing ceiling spider every day and my heart beat getting faster each time. It felt like a very unnecessary nuissance which only existed to bother me. However, I told myself that it was nothing. I told myself that ceiling spider would go away on its own after a while, or that someone else would take care of it and that it'll be fine. I left it alone.

Well, a week or so had passed, and ceiling spider was still there. I'd notice it everyday when I'd leave my flat for something, looking up and thinking the same thing - "Ugh, why isn't it gone yet?" and feel the same old discomfort due to its presence.

Another couple weeks passed. Despite my worst wishes, ceiling spider was still very much present on the ceiling and it had grown to about the size of a pea. At this point I'd decided to give up on wishing it to go away - it clearly wasn't working. At the same time, however, even despite my obvious unease, I couldn't be bothered to actually do something or tell someone to get rid of ceiling spider. Human interaction is way worse than any old spider.

During the next few days, I started developing a habit of looking upwards with my mouth ajar to see if ceiling spider was still there each time i left my flat. Now, this was terrifying to me because everytime I'd imagine ceiling spider falling into my mouth, which is really just a nightmare. However, this didn't really stop me from doing it though. Despite being horrible, it soon became a habit and something I did and imagined everyday.

A few more days passed and I started taking note of how much ceiling spider had grown since I had first seen him. Of course, he really hadn't grown a lot but he did grow a little. Something about having seen him grow from no bigger than a pea to slightly bigger than one was nice, especially since I had been there for each day of it from the start. I started telling my friends about ceiling spider and tried to explain to them why the feeling of having had watched him grow was nice, and while I couldn't really explain it all that well, and I still cant, most of them agreed with me that it indeed was.

Of course like always, sometimes imagination took over. I sometimes imagined how it would be like when he would grow to his full size and then how terrorizing it would be if he fell into my open mouth when I'd look up to see him. The same fear and discomfort I felt whenever i saw a spider was still very much present along with ceiling spider, as well as of course, ceiling spider himself.

However, something about it started becoming familiar. The fear and discomfort due to the presence of ceiling spider started becoming a part of my every day life. Each day whenever I'd go outside, I'd stand and watch ceiling spider for a while and see what he was upto. Sometimes I'd try to figure out if he had grown any bigger, and whether I should be even more worried yet. Ceiling spider had become a small, albeit agonizing, part of home.

One day, after having had a great day, I decided to take a nap. I woke up from the nap happy and organized, much to my surprise, and decided to go outside, preferably to do something productive. I opened the door, looked up, and just as the presence of ceiling spider had made my heart beat faster, its absense made my heart sink very very low.