Alright, so its 3am. I have nothing else to do. I am sitting comfortably in my ideal writing situation. Now, what should I write? Theres the 2 stories I wanna write that I could work on, or maybe I should finish the draft of the chapter called "Hope" on here... Nah I don't wanna work on that right now. Hmmmm, what should I do? Come on, 3am, work your magic.

I've brought up 3am to almost everyone I've talked to about writing. I've hyped it up so much, and honestly, I do believe it works for me, personally. Theres a number of reasons for that, which I guess I'll try and analyze right now, because thats what 3am wants me to do today. *shrug*

So, first things first, I am a night person. I find the nights very peaceful and unobstrusive, so I usually am more productive during the night than the day. This causes some problems with school and sleep schedules, but I think I do fine. Productivity is subjective, after all, which I now realize would've been a great topic to write about. What is productivity? But nah, too late to change it now, lets keep it specifically to 3 am and writing.

I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll start at my personality. On the outside, I am very much a reserved person. I don't really feel the need to have everyone's attention on me, or have people listen to my opinions all the time, so I usually don't speak a lot. Its much more fun listening to other people and getting to know them, usually always accompanied by the slight hope of finding someone you can really relate to. But that doesn't mean I don't have opinions and it doesn't mean that I am just boring. Inside my mind, I am just always brimming with weird thoughts and daydreams which, frankly, even I dont always remember.

The problem here is that because of the way that I am, I do not, or cannot, express these thoughts, and with the way writing is and the way THIS is, it doesn't always work out well. Simply put, there are 2 reasons for this-

1. As stated before, I don't feel the need to express my own opinions that much, but besides that on its own being a problem, it also means that I have somewhere along the way become highly incapable of doing so when I do want to. I cannot always translate my thoughts into an concise and understandable order of words, whether it is in writing or in speaking.

2. I've always been self conscious about the things that I create, which mostly goes hand in hand with my fear of disappointing people. Writing for me, besides being a somewhat therapeutic thing, is also something I want other people than myself to enjoy. So in my mind what I write has to always be good, it always has to be worth people's time. This stops me from writing a lot of the time because, well, it just isn't good enough. Thats why my random thoughts originally just started out as shit posts really and were more funny little stories rather than rants of this kind.

Anyway, thats enough personality context for now, lets go into 3am. Though originally I did mean 3am as the hour and only the hour, overtime I've come to realize that it's more the period of time than the hour alone, symbolic as it may be. It's the period of time late in the night when you are tired and sleepy and you want to just sleep but you cant because of the thoughts racing in your head. So the only way to stop these thoughts and finally get to go to sleep is to write down your thoughts, yeah? Yep. Thats also where the tiredness and sleepiness comes in, which I call being sleep drunk. Thats when you're so tired that you don't really care about what you write down or say that much and just do whatever comes to your mind. No ones awake to judge you, no ones there to read what you write. Well, until the next morning, but your brain doesnt really think about that.

So thats when I can really just write whatever. I am too sleepy to care, so it helps me be more clear and concise when I am not overthinking everything and just writing. It's the sheltered teenager's equavalent to writing while stoned, basically. And it works out, my english is fluent enough that my rambles do make sense, and in my humble opinion, are usually quite good pieces of writing as well. There's also nothing else to do, and nothing other than your dad telling you to go to sleep repeatedly that can disturb that flow, so you can just keep on writing for long amounts of time which, being a slow writer, really helps. I've already written this far and stayed up this late, whats an hour more?

What else is there great about 3am? Other than the demons peaking out from behind my window, I think thats about it. It really is a special time, I love it. We all have a period of time when we are at our productive and creative best and I guess 3am is it for me, mostly due to the things stated above. It probably is unhealthy, and I probably should figure out a better way, but for now, it works.

I realize that this is a bit of different thing than I usually write and I also realize that this wasn't necessarily very interesting and fun to read, so I thank you if you did. This is not exactly flashy trendy content that will take the world by storm and make the papers, but I do believe that this will make me a better writer. Besides, it's what 3am wanted me to do.

This is exactly a 1000 words now.