Deep inside I feels like i'm being in the middle of sea. Wherever I saw I can't find anything, just something plain. It feels so cold and the loneliness slowly killing me

I tried to move, to reached something but I just stuck in one place. No one can see my tears because my surounding will always hide and wipe it away. I tried to look what is below me and it's just a darkness I saw. It scaring me but I can't let myself to look away and just stare at it. As if it's how supposed my life is

When I look up, I saw a light from the sun. But I don't have enough courage to stare at it for long. I don't have a will to reach it because it's more scaring than the darkness below me. Once I tried to reach it, I know that I can't stop until I reach it for real

It's scary to think that I will not reach it no matter how much I tried. It's feels like the darkness pulling me down, I didn't even fight. I just can watch how the light start to disappear.

And before it's really gone, I tried to fight, to reach it. At least I want to try even though i'll be pulled back alone in the darkness.