I've just been thinking alot lately

That's what owl city does to you, I guess....

I'm thinking about the future, my future, and how it doesn't exist.

I'm so confused in my life right now, and I feel alone, even though I have friends within reach, but I'm blocking them out because I'm scared, scared of myself.

Mainly I'm depressed because POI didn't stream today but let's not talk about this (imfuckingbored)

I'm in highschool now and everything is diffierent, I'm growing up and I really don't want to but at the same time I do

Everything changes around my and I guess I have no choice but to follow the stream.

No.

I don't want to. I don't want to live in the fast lane. I don't want to get good grades but I don't have a choice. I sure as fuck don't want to go to college. I don't have a choice, I can't do anything I want to, it's MY FUCKING LIFE, MOM!

I'm a person I'm not a fucking robot most of the time this is damn rediculos

I don't know what I expect but when you're alone like this you question everything.

I've lost my friends because I quit my regular minecraft server. They all hate me now, yay. I'm the source of every single fucking problem, apparently. I'm being ignored and neglected so... I'm done.

I'm starting to get really scared. Every friend I've ever had has left me. Is it me? Is there something wrong with me? There has to be.

The friends I have now I trust with my life. Derek, squeakers, maddie, I tell them everything. But I don't know if I can trust anyone. I sure as hell can't trust my family or my parents.

My parents claim I can talk to them but that's a god damn fucking lie. I wish I could. I really do. But if I share my true feelings they'll claim "it's the phone" and take it away.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's so confusing. Everything.

I can't suicide and end my misery because it will cause a Shockwave ripple of pain around me, and I don't want anyone else to feel pain because.... of me..
I don't want to hurt my friends or family, so I can't help myself.

This applies to so much more. When the relization that you're being bullied hits it's like a frying pan to the face.

Bt no, not me.
I don't care.

Honestly, if that person that's putting me down feels better about themselves by putting me down, so be it. Good for them. I'm glad they're happier.

I just want everyone to be happy.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

I don't care if I'm happy. I don't deserve it for all the shit I've caused. I don't matter that much anymore.

And that's that's a lie too... because I'm a lazy fuck... I'm getting Cs, everyone's dissapointed in me. I'm a dissapointment...

I can't do ANYTHING right....

Everything hurts

Don't worry about me.

-Skykit