-Written on 180225-
        "I have a dream." Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream for the people of America and refused to give it up. He was not supported by everyone, but regardless he kept strong on his path to reaching his goal. Every obstacle thrown in his way he kept moving forward, and thus reached his goal over time.
        I have a dream. A dream that requires hard work, persistance, fearlessness, and courage. A dream that requires me to give it all at just the chance of making it come true. Most people don't support me, I only have few that do. For those few people, I want to thank you for helping me to continue working to make it come true, however long it may take me to achieve it. As you all may not know, I've been going through a lot lately and have even been pondering giving it up all together, starting to give in to those that say it's worthless. I was getting so tied up in how "my head is in the clouds" and how I should "think realistically" and stick to what I know - good grades. I want to go to college, I want to become successful, but that's not what my dream is. True, I want to be good in what I do and I want to complete more schooling, but that's not everything I want to achieve.
        Ever since I was younger I've dreamed of being a singer. I've been told I have an amazing voice by many professionals and have been asked to join multiple singing groups. Three years ago I discovered my love for dance as well. Today I sing and dance, and I love every second of it. The performances I put on and participate in ignite a sense of happiness in me, and I never want to stop performing. I've choreographed my own dances, I've written a few songs. However, for those that don't support me it's never enough. I'm seen as a constant disappointment, only going further and further down into the dark hole of having childish thoughts". They say I should think differently, and not be so confident in my skills.
        I've struggled with liking who I am for many years. It's taken me a very long time to finally have a little confidence in myself and it keeps being ripped away from me anytime I speak my mind. I've gone back to the dark pit inside myself, rarely actually saying what I think and instead just saying something that will make the person I'm talking to happy. Whenever I bring up my goals in life I'm laughed at and I've resorted to just repeating others' ideas in what I should do in life. I copy the plans other people have for me without a second glance.
        This past week I've had multiple performances every night and I've finally gotten my confidence back. I started speaking my mind freely again. Of course, it was all in vain. I was shut down again as soon as I opened my mouth and started being honest again. Now I'm back to where I started, no confidence or happiness in who I am and who I will become. Those I thought supported me suddenly turned away and took a different stance against what I want to achieve.
        To everyone who supports me, thank you again for not giving up on who I hope to become. I can't promise I'll meet expectations or succeed as well as I would like to, but I want to try to make it happen. I will work to follow my dreams and please everyone I can at once. It will take time for me to recover and gain the confidence I need to audition but I will work on making that time as short as possible so I can get back in track towards what I want to do. I hope you'll continue to support me and give me advice when I need it. I hope I will be able to continue to find a sense of peace talking with you all and find motivation in you guys. You are all amazing people and I hope we can keep our connections open no matter the obstacles we face. I love you all so much and I will continue to support you all in all you hope to achieve. 💙💜❤️

~크리시