going away silently,,,,, would get rid of my pain,,,, going away silently is also,,,, easier to not feel guilt,,, my failures haunt me,,,, my past comes back amd says im faking what i feel,,,, it tells me everyone is a liar,,, i somewhat believe it,,,,, anything is believable in times of loneliness,, i think ill mostly,,, stay on my alt account,,, no one really cares there,,,,,,, ill be here for rps (which is mostly pastel dropping them which i enjoy) and reading,,,,, i mean i try to keep myself happy but i cant,,, the rps arent always going to comfort me when im balling my eyes out,,,, drawing isnt going to help me vent,,,, people just make me feel unimportant,,, i cant,,, i mean its very likely i wont do it but,,, hope is leaving the room,,,, eating just,,,, i dont feel it anymore,,, hugging my plushie doesnt work now,,,,, all my comforts just stopped working,, my comfort ships end up making me cry,,,, everything makes me cry or want to,, im trying but it seems more,,,, distant,,, like the dream i had of jumping off a bridge,,, everyone left me alone and everytime i tried to feel love,,,, it never worked which is why i jumped,,,, i broke every bone and died,,,, just bleed out,,, no pain but happiness for once,,,, maybe that dream will come true one day,,, im tired of it,,,