I don't like the phrases.

"You got nice curves!"

"I like your eyebrows!"

"Alaina, remember how much I love you..."

Yeah Yeah.
No.
Two of those focus  on my physical appearance, which... I don't like my physical appearance (i could take care of myself better... That's why...) and... One just...
Is an excuse for someone to say "Please don't be mad at me..."

Well, people do things that I disagree with.
I can live with that.

But... Those phrases, told to me by society and my real life friends, make me feel uncomfortable.

My face, with small red spots by my hairline... My eyebrow messed up a little bit because I cut part of it off in 5th grade... slightly blue and purple around the bags on my eyes...

And the fact that my friends always ask me, "Are you okay? You look pale..."

When I feel fine...
I'm a stupid white girl who wants to be blonde, who can't take care of herself, and who gets phrases and words told to her that make her feel even worse about herself.

Great...
I feel fine.

I don't.

I feel hungry. Sad. Alone. Tired. Thirsty. Internally Empty. Underrated. Forgotten...

Forgotten by the people I love to death.
Not all of them...
But...
Many enough that... I can literally feel the hold on my heart...

Nothing material can fix that.
Sure... I get upset over a game.
But it was more of the initial shock that...
Everyone doesn't respect what I have...
My brothers threw the toys everywhere that were mine, that I put in a box
They lost the PS4 controller I bought
The charger station for the controllers barely works...
And... Everyone hits me (not my parents but... The 4/5 of younger siblings) when they're mad at me...

Oh well. I'm over reacting...
Bye...