Oh my God, don't even ask. Cuz I really don't know. Enjoy, though! xD - PBJ

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BABYSITTING #KUROSHITSUJI

"Ciel!" Sebastian called from at the bedroom door.

Ciel groaned and woke up, growling back at his butler, "What is it, Sebastian?"

"We must babysit your darling... relatives... today," Sebastian replied, walking in as Ciel began to go back to sleep.

"Sebastian! You must knock when you enter!" he shouted, suddenly sitting upright again.

"I did, master," he replied with a smug smile.

Ciel just continued to glare at him.

"Now, we must hurry. Abigail isn't a patient lady," Sebastian said, closing the door behind him and walking towards Ciel's closet.

"Abigail?" Ciel echoed, wondering who in the world his butler was talking about.

"Your relative," Sebastian informed simply.

"Who–"

"It's a long story, bocchan," Sebastian interrupted before Ciel could ask him to explain. He himself did not know how these people were related to his master, but since Elizabeth was the one who carried the message to the household, the fact didn't need to be questioned upon.

:: time skip brought to you by Sebas-chan's sexy face ::

"Morning, boys!" Abigail said cheerily. She was a plump lady with rosy cheeks and twinkling green eyes similar to those of Elizabeth's. (A/N: I haven't watched it in a long time, or looked at Elizabeth's face for a long time so I'm not sure if they're purple or green or blue but I know they're one of them e.e anyways why look at anything other than Ciel and Sebas-chan lol XD)

Ciel grumbled while Sebastian gave her his signature heart-melting smile, grabbing Abigail's hand and giving it a small kiss in greeting. "Wonderful to meet you, Mrs...?"

"Oh, my! How charming! Just call me Abby, please," Abigail said to the good-looking butler, blushing (this made her face even pinker than it actually was, turning it into an almost crimson shade). "And this is?"

She looked down at Ciel's sour-faced self who was staring straight into the household instead of at her.

"This is my master, Earl Phantomhive," Sebastian told her, then leaned in to whisper a side-note in her ear. "He's not very talented in the social arts."

"Ah," Abigail said, nodding in understanding. "Well, I'll leave you to it, then! Make sure to feed them both soon. And by the way, Elizabeth might not have told you this, but Jacob's allergic to nuts. Good luck!"

With that said, she hobbled between the pair and walked away down the stone front-path.

Ciel made a sound that was similar to that of a dog's huff before he strode into the house, his nose pointed high up in the air in a haughty manner.

Sebastian laughed a little, walking into the house behind his master and closing the door behind him. Suddenly, they heard a loud banging – as if someone was hitting an object with a club. There was an occasional 'crack' as whatever that was on the receiving end of the force fell apart.

Sebastian rushed up the stairs while Ciel stayed downstairs - he wasn't bothered about such unimportant matters.

Sebastian walked into one of the rooms and saw a bronze-haired boy swinging a bat at a Barbie doll that lay on the floor, several of its limbs scattered around it. "Die, die, die!" the boy screamed, continuing to demolish the toy.

Sebastian grabbed the bat from the boy's hand in a flash, hiding it away in a secret place that even we didn't know of because he moved so fast.

Immediately, the boy started wailing and started kicking the bed in the middle of the room. "Sh, sh, it's okay," Sebastian tried, walking up to the small boy and holding him still by both arms.

The boy stared at the butler with wide eyes, surprised that the man even dared to approach him in all his glorious wrath. He paused his feud to observe the butler with wide, green eyes very similar to his mother's.

"What's your name?" Sebastian asked him calmly.

"Jacob," the small boy replied, then in a sudden, quick movement, he slammed his foot straight into the place where demons felt the most lasting and intense pain.

Sebastian went wide-eyed and gulped in an attempt to swallow the squeak that was threatening to escape his lips, but there was another problem that had arisen. He heard Ciel's high-pitched scream as his master sprinted into the room.

"SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME, SEBASTIAN! IT'S FUCKING MURDER!" Ciel screeched, jumping onto the bed, then leaping off again to run and hide behind Sebastian. At his tail was a small-made girl with long, blonde hair who was chasing after him with a wide grin spread across her face.

"Get them, Lily, get them!" Jacob cheered his sister on, his mood suddenly lifted.

"I DIDN'T KNOW FIVE-YEAR-OLD KILL, OH MY GOD!" Ciel shrieked again climbing onto Sebastian's crouched form – he was still in great pain down in the lower areas – and attempting to ride him away from the insane five-year-old. (A/N: DIRTY. VERY DIRTY THOUGHTS.) "SEBASTIAN, YOU FUCKER, KILL IT!"

"KILL, KILL, KILL!" Jacob chanted, following in suit of his sister as she grabbed one of the golf clubs leaning against the wall.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE GOLF CLUBS IN A FIVE-YEAR-OLD'S BEDROOM?" Ciel questioned no one in particular, struggling to balance himself on Sebastian's shoulders as his butler began to slowly rise from his crouch.

Just as Lily was about to whack the demon-butler with her golf club, he grabbed the object out of her hands, threw it aside, picked up the two kids and sped down the stairs towards the kitchen. All the while, Ciel perched on his shoulders.

"Time to have lunch," Sebastian announced calmly, dumping a human in a chair each at the dining table, including his master, who looked absolutely dumbstruck.

Lily looked over at Ciel who was seated next to her.

"STAY AWAY, ANIMAL!" Ciel hollered the moment he met her mischievous gaze, scrambling off of the seat to stumble over to Sebastian.

"Who wants pancakes?" Sebastian asked the three of them, ignoring the fear in Ciel and the devilish grins painted on the kids' faces.

"ME!" both of the kids answered in unison.

"Yes, feed them," Ciel hissed under his breath. "Then, we can escape while they're distracted..."

"Bocchan..."

"WHAT, SEBASTIAN?" Ciel snapped. "I'm trying to plan an escape over here."

Sebastian looked sadly down at where his pained area was in pain. "I don't think we can have kids anymore..."

"Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian," Ciel said solemnly. "I DON'T EVEN WANT KIDS! THEY'RE EVEN WORSE THAN YOU AND YOU'RE A FUCKING DEMON!!!"

:: continuation may not be guaranteed, but here's an ending brought to you by two evil five-year-olds devouring Sebas-chan's famous pancakes ::