LAST LAST WEEKEND WAS YOUTH RETREATTTT WOOOO ( lmao i'm writing this too late )

idk if yall remember last year's retreat LOL

but last last weekend was soooo good

like even better than last year prob 😂

there was a hECKA lot that happened so imma just list it all lmao

and then afterwards i can update you about how life has been for me LOL ( do yall even care tho oopsies im annoying- )

~

HIGHLIGHTS OF RETREAT!

- hanging out with maddie and also getting closer to the other girls ehehe they're da best

( also yes ^ that is antiquities eheheheh maddie im never letting this picture go )

- SNOW OMG SO MUCH SNOW ASHFUFD IT WAS SO PRETTY

- worship was liT the adult worship team was really good and omg LOL yeah it was really fun

- i hung out with a bunch of the bros and they're like so dumb sometimes its kinda hilarious ( THEY KEPT MAKING FUN OF MY HEIGHT THOUGH LIKE UM 5'2 ISNT T H A T SHORT OK GEEZ )

( as in they could fit a bunch of me's inside guitaro boi's car cuz im short
-_- )

- during free time on sunday, it was snowing so we stayed inside and played this game called couch that's basically like musical chairs but WAY more complicated LOL but it's super fun and omg we got so competitive; AY my team won twice out of three rounds tho wOOOOOO but after the third round my brain was gONE like that game takes up a lot of mind energy 😂

- i also may or may not have put my head on guitaro boi's arm during the second round cuz we were sitting next to each other on the couch and it may or may not have looked like we were cuddling a bit or whatever lmao whoops my brain was really dead i should've thought it through oOPS

- hiking with friends again!! super fun eheheh

( we have a group picture too but like there's fifteen peeps and im too lazy to block everyone's face 😂😂😂 )

- meeting a bunch of new people!

- naming my team: TEAM BOBA WOOOOOOO

- a couple of my friends and i woke up SUPER early ( aka 6:15am ) on monday morning to see the sunrise and even though it was fricking freezing ( 16 degrees fahrenheit / -8 degrees celsius ), IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!! i wish i could post the time lapse my friend took omg you can see the moment the sun peeks over the mountains and like just shines so brightly uGH IT WAS SO PRETTTYYYYYYY

- also guitaro boi gave me one of his airpods so the two of us were listening to some worship music while the sun rose and it made me cry cuz jesus gives me the feels

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

- being able to pray for so many people on sunday!! i love praying for others and then crying with them LOL # jesus is good

- THE HOODIES WERE SO NICE THIS YEARRRR

- on friday night, i couldn't go on the bus with everyone cuz i had a choir comp on saturday morning SO my dad and i went out to ramen AHAHAHA so good

- the drive up to retreat was really nice ahah my dad was v nice and drove up with me even though it was kinda dangerous cuz we didnt have snow chains but it was real icy sO im glad he didnt crash

WHEW THAT WAS A LOT AND I PROB MISSED A BUNCH MORE MEMORIES OOF JHFHJFHD

LOWLIGHTS OF RETREAT ( rip rip )

- some of the girls in my cabin were like talking about the " cute guys " at retreat and like it was kinda bugging me bc even though im like a boy crazy kinda person, i think we should value them first and foremost as brothers in christ and not just like " cute guys at retreat " ; it was weird LOL i just stayed quiet doing that part oops xD ( they talked about guitaro boi for like a second ooF- )

- guitaro boi kinda created some drama and it kinda hurt me ( bUT it's ok i'm ok now ); basically he was kinda flirting with another girl like all weekend and talking to her a LOT and yeahhhhhhhhhhh BUT BUT BRIGHT SIDE: i found a lot of comfort and encouragement in my other gal friends and they were able to like pray for me while i was crying oopsies and like hug me and yeah they're great

- i lead a worship set on sunday morning and like it was good buuuuut my drummer was kinda really off beat and the songs went too fast ripppp but it's ok lol at least we got through it

~

OK YA

THAT WAS KINDA A BIT OF RETREAT AHAHA

it was super super fun and i love all my yg friends yeet

QOTD: do you like snow??

margotsrobbies MILKYMOCHIS the_talking_sword kalopsiascity antiquities Gnome__ ororotchalla blissfulnightingale ahaha-nope solarecIipsed xxxlejindaryxxx LAURAHARRIERS astronautic- BLURRYASTRO captainbubbletea honeylemonmilktea nowmadewithbutter jenoesque @ anyone else!!

AOTD: YESSSSS LOL when it snowed from the sky during free time, i made my friend go out and walk around with me, and so him and i were like adventuring while snow blew into our faces oOF LOL; but idk if i would survive if i had to live in a place where it snowed LOL

SO ANYWAYSSS

how has your life been????

LIFE HAS BEEN OK

dalvie's been kinda sad recently cuz of the whole situation with guitaro boi

after retreat, he was kinda manipulating me?? but unintentionally and i forgive him ahahah but yeah it was kinda rough ( cuz of that other girl and everything and he was saying one thing but then doing another and it was all confusing and big oof )

but i still have like a lot of emotions about him; like he's def more than " just a friend " - he's like one of my closest friends and i trust him with a bunch of stuff and i care about him / his mental health a lot and ahfaldfudfud

i think he's caught feelings for me again tho 😂😅

the other day he asked me if i loved him and i had to choose my words carefully bc idk what im allowed to say anymore

a lot of people are telling me to cut him off completely and cut off the friendship kinda bc sometimes what he does affects my emotions in a bad way oops

but like

i can't do it ahhhhhhhhhhhhh and it hurts bc idk what to do anymore and everyone keeps telling me what to do and it's like overwhelming bc idK AJLDFH :(((

BUT IT OTAY

dalvie will be ok LOL

him and i talked for awhile on sunday night bc i was like having a breakdown ( penni knows lol ) and he called me bc on text it sounded like i wasn't ok and he wanted to see if he could help somehow which was really sweet

we came to a conclusion that we're going to stay close friends and that we're just going to continue running with God and going after Him first bc that's how life should be ahahaha

it was unsaid, but i think we're both like in love with each other again ahaha and this time i actually feel it even more

yesterday at church i sang on worship team so i was like watching him worship from stage at certain moments and it made me fall even moREEEEEE sfhafdfhdfad

and then we made eye contact during a few songs and we both smiled LOL it's kinda like winter break is happening all over again ahhhhH and idk if that's good or not hmm

and yeah

there's honestly nothing really in our way from getting into a relationship

but like we're not supposed to bc of stuff and yeahh kinda sucks

oh well

i think it'll work out somehow

OK WELL ENOUGH ABOUT THAT LMAO YALL ARE PROB ANNOYED AT ME BEING SAD ABOUT ANOTHER BOY AHAHAHAH

ok so like this weekend was crAZY

i had a choir competition on saturday and call time was freaking 6am so i set my alarm for 4am ( bc it takes an hour and a half to get ready ahahahHA )

and guESS WHAT

MY ALARM DIDNT GO OFF SO MY MOM

CAME INTO MY ROOM

AT

5:30AM AHHHHH

aFLGDUFUFHULFHUIFPI

so i had to panic curl my hair in like twenty minutes LMAO

and thEN like more than five hours later, the comp ended and i went home, had two hours to change and shower and eat, and theN i went off to one of my bff's bday parties ehehehheehehe

IT WAS HECKA FUNNNN

there was a fancy dinner and then a sleepover at a fancy hotel

us girls had like a few hours before dinner cuz we had to check in so we went to the hot tub LOL and that was lit

then we rinsed and the bday girl did our hair ( cuz she's really good at hair ) and she curled mine into waves and it was so purtttyyyyy like dang

THEN we went to the restaurant and met up with some of our dude friends

we were so loud 😂😂😂 but it was soooo fun

i lost my voice a bit LMAO we were all like shouting and stuff

good thing we had a private room to eat in 😂😂

and my other friend brought her camera and we took sooooo many pictures ahahaha

it was so lit

then i went home at like midnight ( i wasnt allowed to sleep over at the hotel cuz i had church early morning on sunday rip rip )

and i went to get some tea at like 1am cuz my voice was freaking dying

and then guitaro boi called me lmao so we ended up talking till 3 whoops

and then i had three hours of sleep before waking up at 6:30 to go to church for worship practiceeeeeee

church was fun! it was a different kind of service so i had to stay on stage like the whole two hours with a 6 minute bathroom break during announcements LOL the keyboardist and i RAN to the bathroom AHAHA

my voice didnt die on me!!!! and i lead two songs!!!!!! YAYYYY 🎉🎉🎉

whew

ok so that was my crazy weekend LOL

hope you all have had a lovely few weeks ehehe

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

till next time xx