Hey guysss. I said I would update on the situation!

Disclaimer: contains mentions of anxiety, suicide, all that stuff. Beware!

So, yeah, me and my dad had some more long talks when I stayed home. None were about my anxiety. I even told him I was sad because our first talk I wanted to tell him about my anxiety. Not once did he bring it up.

I don't know why, but I don't think he believes I have anxiety. He always calls it being anxious, and, as I have stated before, he never once brought it up. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised, and we've been having a pretty rocky relationship recently.

Do I think that's the main reason? No, I don't. He's a conservative, white, homophobic male with a temper. Not a good combination, but I digress.

I will give him something: he pointed other reasons why I was sad. If you guys didn't know, my grandfather passed away in the spring, and it was messy even before he died. I knew he was dying but my step-grandmother (let's call her K)decided not to tell anyone where he was. It was by pure chance we knew he was even in a hospice, my real grandmother actually was calling to tell K about a book she read. K just says 'oh yeah, your ex-husband is in a hospice right now'

I almost never saw my grandpa growing up. My mom and him never had the best relationship, and my parents were divorced. I had the luck to finally form a bond with him the last time I saw him. It was this lovely conversation about the Tudors and what was going on at the time.

Oops. Getting off-track.

Anyways, I'm just sad knowing that my dad doesn't really care about my anxiety, to boil it down. My mom does. My brother doesn't know, neither do my irl friends, so yeah.

My dad is not very happy I told my mom first. When he found out my mom got me a Nintendo Switch for Christmas, he got one 'for his house'. Yeah, okay, fine. Be that way.

I'm sorry if this sounds so whiny - but my parents have never been so petty like this before, at least as long as I can remember.

Ah welp.

I still feel suicidal, just less so.

Toodles,

Nydia

P.S.

feel free to ask questions!