Sedatephobia, Thantophobia, And Autophobia
This is something I deal with, why? I don't know. What is Sedatephobia? The fear of silence. It's not that common. I mean I've never met anyone that has it too. I'm fine with silence in a forest or outside, only because it's not completely silent. But it's different in a room. Heck sometimes I sing while using the bathroom cause, silence is scary. I think it's why I have a hard time sleeping at night, cause everything is so quite. Thantophboia, the fear of losing someone. I think I always had it, but never before has it been as great as it is today. I grew up with a dog, he was a year younger than me, but, I can't remember a time that he wasn't there, other than when he passed. People will say: "He was just a dog!" But, he was more than that. He was my closest friend, and at times, my only. He was also my little brother. So you can't tell me, that he was 'just a dog', he was so much more. I regret that I didn't love on him as much as I should've, sure I was allergic a bit, but I could've. And that didn't give me the excuse to shove him off the couch with my foot when he was in a spot. I know it probably hurt him, and I didn't really know better. But I still feel horrible about it. Autophobia, the fear of loneliness. Another fear of mine. It's pretty strong.I hate being lonely, and that's what I am most of the time, lonely. I don't have that many friends it seems. I'm always sitting by myself, or feel left out when in groups. Nobody really talks to me. It's usually not that bad, but other times it can feel suffocating. The only problem is, it's also rather frightening to say hello to someone who isn't a friend of mine. Pretty ironic huh? To be scared of people, but scared to be alone.
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