5/5/17

People at my school assume I'm a normal school girl but I'm not. You see I might look like or write like I'm happy...but really I'm not. I'm just acting the only emotions I feel inside me are jealousy, heartbreak, and anger. I don't know how to feel happiness or love. It's tuff because you have to act normal almost every single day like you have to wind myself up each morning. I just don't want people worrying about me too much. I feel like I bottled up important emotions and I release them when I think I truely felt this emotion. I wish my friends knew about me but they probably wouldn't care. My best friend barely talks to me and she thinks I'm mad at her...but I'm not. I'm only acting. I remember when I lost my emotions for the first time. I was in 5th grade. I had a crush on a boy. I loved him a lot. When I see him hang out with other girls...I just get jealous. He hangs out with this one girl a lot. I assumed he had a crush on her and that's when my emotions just drained out. Now...Some people make my emotions drain out. I know you might think I sound crazy but it's true. After everything I told you...I basically want to tell you...that I am broken.