What would happen if I disappear from this place.Never to be seen again.You wouldn't care right,that's what you say to me when the paper comes home from that dreadful place with books and terrible food.You say I should be better but I can't because I'm trash as you say.You send me to that dreadful place where I don't fit in.Not with the popular,NEET,nor the geeks.I don't blend well with the chics.Nor do my glasses fit straight on my brown orbs that I see the world for what it truly is...wicked and twisted.Full of sick people.

You give me more stress when I get back home.But for what I can't forget that look of unloved on the face in the reflection I see everyday.I'm sorry I'm worthless no good for nothing trash.I'm sorry my brain doesn't work like the rest.I'm sorry I'm too different from this world you live in.I'm sorry for being too shy.I'm sorry for not being the boy you always wanted while I was in your stomach.I try to be what you want but it just doesn't work.

If I did suppose I disappear.You would be happy,right.More money in your pocket.Less of a mouth to feed.No more clothes shopping other than yourself.Right.I wouldn't have to deal with a daddy that left me behind when he start his new life with another wife and sister and the people that tell me what I should do,or have.I'm just fine with death.I don't deserve life or freedom.I'm not smart enough for it.My brain won't comprehend with this world and it's logical thinking.

But if that did happen I wouldn't be able to see my little cousin open his eyes for the first time.Nor that soft warm glow I get from my brother's smile when I be silly.Nor would I see the sunlight raise on a scary night.Nor would I've been able to meet the friends I do have.Laughter,Happiness,Warmth.If I disappear.....everything would be lost.

........................So I won't disappear because of you,....Miss.