I sometimes wonder, why are we here?

What’s our purpose?

Are we something magnificent or insignificant?

Is life like a hamster on a wheel?

Always running believing that we are going somewhere

New

Or are we just moving motionless believing that we are going somewhere?

Is life a sick game?

Where the odds are so stacked against us that we try everything in our power to win

Are we dreaming?

They say this is real because we can feel

But in our dreams in this dream or not we can still feel fear

Is life an ocean?

It’s calm in the beginning and as we wade through the water with our sails

But we hit into storms and try to figure out our way with nothing more but hope

Picking up people to help us on our way

But when we fall from the boat and fall into the water we see new things and people tell us

“Sink or Swim”

But what if can’t swim like the others?

Do I just sink?

What if I can’t sink like everyone else?

Do I swim?

They say today is today and yesterday is gone

But how is it that people like me with pasts can be pulled right back into the past

So traumatic that it feels like yesterday

Was always here and hadn’t gone away

Why do we dream?

Is it for fear?

Since we don't know what's real we make our own “reality” that feels so real  

Like me and you

Is it boredom?

That because we feel so motionless and constricted in our world?

Or something more that cannot be answered?

Questions like these make me question my sanity

I’ve become so insane that

Sane

Is a insane word that i do not understand

The definition of sane to me is the right state of mind, mentally and physically

But

How can I say who’s

“Sane”

Like people believe in god and I do not so who is “sane”? and who is

“Insane”?

I question; While others follow so who is “sane”?

These questions ravage my mind like wolves who haven't eaten for days and they have finally seen

Food

Is there something higher?

Like a person sitting in a chair cutting strings and telling us that our time is up

When we die where do we go?

People say there is a god but how can I believe that without question?

I have so many questions

That my silence from me not asking them has made me insane

So many questions without enough answers

Who am I?

That is a question that I cannot answer

For I do not know who I am and if I answer the question it would be with silence

For I am always changing through my life as different people

Like shattered dreams broken in pieces as I try to puzzle them together

So far I haven’t finished for I am

Still learning

People like me

Are past our so dark that when we find happiness we keep it close l

Like a child holds a Flashlight to scare the monsters

Except our monsters are renteless

For each night a monster from our past comes in like a rockslide trying to keep us down in the dark

The question is how do we handle our monsters?

We all have our ways like guidebooks telling us how to deal with them

Some of us don't deal

We hid in our covers full of memories as we hope the monsters never come out

Or

we let our monsters roam free like children as they poison our minds telling us we aren’t anyone or we never be good enough

Like every time we sleep we fall into the abyss of our atrocious past

Few actually face them like the heros in our stories as they defeat our monsters and save us from ourselves

BUt

People like me with pasts like mine, we

Stumble

and lose our way

Since we don't know our way

Then any way will be fine

We help others who lost their way to find their

way and just keep on going on our path trying to not look back as pieces of our

Broken hearts

and feelings leave a trail behind us

Hoping

that someone from

Somewhere

brings us to a place where we can lay our heads and say

“I’ve Survived.”

We all have our demons

but we are the decision makers

We all have our demons but what can we do?

Sometimes I question the stars

Why are they there?

Are they shining for us?

Or they shinning for someone

Else?

When I look up at the stars I feel like they have been drawn on

Like glow in the dark paint drawn on the ceiling

Every time a Star falls on us it’s the paint of the stars dripping on us

Are they truly there?

Or have they all died out?

Like old photos of ghosts we haven't seen for awhile

Or an old faded memory that still lingers like a kid looking for his mother

Emotions?

Why are they so strong?

It’s like we lost all control over ourselves

Like a marionette doll

Our emotions controlling us like a master puppeteer

Like a drug we don't want to let go of

We dance and move for the emotion hoping that if we do what we feel

That we could regain ourselves again

Every emotion gives us a dance or movement hoping that if we do it perfectly we will get rewarded

But without emotions?

We feel like things no one wanted

Like a broken toy left alone for too long

Or

A record that keeps skipping

It’s as if our hearts are beautiful stained glass shaped into what you call

“A heart”

It’s very fragile yet priceless

Even though it chips away and breaks apart

We made a map that we use to fix ourselves that broke

We are our own repairmen

Without instructions we figure everything out

Like a journal that we are writing ourselves everyday with our own tips

Why must I question everything?

Why can I be like a zombie in front of television screen’s

Thinking of nothing like blank canvases

Hoping to be written on

But I want to think like others and have a mind that is simple and shallow like a puddle

Not deep like oceans or poetic like philosophers

With minds that are higher than the

Clouds

Every night I stand up and ponder about something

New

Hoping that I would find answers to questions that I don't know what to

Answer

Every day I wonder and everyday I never know more

I question so much and yet

I feel I know very

Little

But what’s the point of knowing everything

If you don't have another person to

Share it

With

And what is The point of knowing everything?

If i know everything I lose the

Wonder

For some things should be left

Unknown

Like a photo that must be never touched or

A grave that has been

Forever lost yet can be found in plain

Sight  

Like a whisper in the dead of

Night

Some things should never be

Known

What is the dark?

What is the Light?

Which do I prefer?

Either because they are both the same thing to me

One is just more quiet than the other

And the other is louder as it explores everything

But

Which is which?

Are they not the same?

They are different sides of the same coin

Almost like the same person

Are they the same?

Are they just like us?

Trying to balance everything onto each other like

Water

Trying to balance itself

Like an ongoing struggle of a person trying to find themselves in

The world

Like a split personality of the same person

So many questions

Yet so little time

Like time is moving while I stay

Motionless    

Frozen in one spot where everything is passing me

Bye

Like I’m sitting on the sidelines waiting for my turn

So I can try my best

Sometimes I wonder if this is

“Real”

Or is it a dream?

I feel like everything is moving in

Reverse

Like I’m falling down the rabbit hole

LIke I’m falling

Upwards

Like I’m drowning without water

Am I dreaming?

Rene De cartes said “I think therefor, I am”

But how do we know?

They say the brain can easily be influenced

So how can we say that?

How can we say that we are us

And not anyone else?

We have so many voices inside of us

How do we know which voice is which?

Like a crowd of people with the same clothes on

How do we know where to find that one person in the

Crowd?

I know very little in this world

Like a child learning its first steps

So much to learn

Yet time is so against me  

Like a runner in a marathon

Time is running past me and I don't know if I can

Catch up

For now I lay my questions to rest

Like a baby going to sleep

May my questions sleep for now

For now I need to not to ponder anymore

I’m

Moving Motionless

I need to find a way to move and keep going

This uknown must not haunt me like a ghost with an

Unfinished past

There is too many voices of me

And they all want to

Speak