This is gonna be a long part guys. Prepare yourselves. Hazbin hotel haters, leave bitches.

Okay, so this is me just yapping about theories and shit.

I'll list them in order here like a table of contents if you want to skip to a specific one:

1: Pilot VAs
2: Addict
3: Lillith & Alastor
4: Cute Lil Headcanons
5: Haters
6: Designs
7: Alastor's Sexuality

Let's start bitches. Yay, I guess.

This is gonna take a while. There's a gif for every one because I was bored.

1: PILOT VAS

I never liked most of the pilot cast. Specifically Charlie and Husk. No hate to their VAs, and they did a good job, but they voices just didn't fit very well. Maybe it's me thinking about the new voices, but Husk's sounds very forced and raspy in the pilot. I much prefer Keith David.

Charlie, on the other hand, had a good speaking voice, and I liked her overall. The problem was her singing. I'm aware that 'Inside of every demon is a rainbow' is fast-paced song, but good god she was so high pitched I barely understood a word she said while singing. Imagine her, again, no offense, singing More than Anything.

Lucifer: "I've been dying to find out who you are-"
Charlie: 🐀🐀🐀
Lucifer: "looks like the apple doesnt fall far,"
Charlie: 🐀🐀🐀
Lucifer: "I've missed that smile."

(Lmao that was funnier in my head-)

The only part of the pilot cast I enjoyed was Niffty, Alastor, and Angel. Other than that, I didn't enjoy it very much, and I didn't like how people like Charlie sounded way too young for her age.

I understand, they chose the pilot cast for a reason, but I feel like they could have done a little better if they could.

2: ADDICT

I've mentioned this on my message board before, but the addict music video is so cringy now. It went so hard like 3 years ago or whatever but it's so bad now 💀💀💀

The issue with the video is that it looks like Viv took like 50 different animation memes and combined them into one poorly directed music video. The song itself isn't terrible, but it has it good and bad parts.

Example of a bad part:

*2018 ass beat while they pole dance in the background*

Example of a good part:

"Till death do us part, but we're already past that phase. This is a brand new start, and I think I deserve some praise. For the way that I am- blah blah blah."

It's just...meh. it's sucky. People that base their opinion off of the show by using the addict music video also suck.

So close! It's actually a music video made about 4 years before the actual show released on Prime! Not exactly the show!

FOR THE LOVE OF LUCIFER PLEASE DO NOT BASE YOUR OPINION ON THE SHOW WITHOUT WATCHING IT I PROMISE ITS BETTER THAN IT LOOKS-

(Why was Husker throwing it back-)

3: LILLITH AND ALASTOR

I feel like the theory that Alastor's being held by Lillith is a bit too obvious, as if Viv either wanted us to find that out early, or is trying to trick us.

It seems about as obvious as the Addict music video being absolute shit nowadays. Seriously. I don't know wether to believe everyone or think something else. Maybe the Lillith theory is just a kind of stand-in for someone more powerful in the future.

That's all. This one wasn't as long as the others.

4: CUTE LIL HEADCANONS

Lil things I thought of today:

- Husk and Niffty used to work together. Not as overlords, but Niffty used to work at the Casino Husk ran. One day, when Husk lost his soul to Alastor, Niffty didn't want to leave him so she sold her own soul to stay with her pookie.

- Angel and Husk casually watch drag race shows and bitch about their outfits and how they could dress so much better.

- Alastor has a whole ass piano in his room that he loves to play at midnight, and wake everyone up on purpose.

- Pentious and KeeKee love each other so much for some reason.

- Sometimes, Husk will have to watch over Fat Nuggets for the day and casually proceed to let him sniff everything at the bar while staring at him and doing nothing to stop him.

- If Vaggie is sick, she's the 'im fine, bitch' type and will continue to do work even if she's literally dying.

- Lucifer and Charlie have sleepovers in Lucifer's new room in the hotel every Friday and stay up until Midnight.

- Husk is amazing at crocheting, but no one knows about his secret hobby.

- Angel sleeps with around 10-20 stuffed animals on the bed with him at a time.

- Niffty casually dusts people's shoes as they walk into the hotel, saying they are 'dirty'.

5: HATERS

Okay, if you don't like the show, that's fine. But for the people out there who call it 'Brainrot' and 'cringe', are we 5 years old?

Seriously though, why is it brainrot? I need a very specific answer, not just 'oh I don't like it.'

And every show is cringy. No show is perfect, no matter how many times you look at it and say it might be.

What happened to letting people like what they wanna like?

6: DESIGNS

WHY DID VIV TWINKIFY THE ENTIRE CAST.

I can tweak so many designs, just look.

- Charlie has goat horns, and horizontal pupils. She also has hooves that are more visible on her shoes and actual feet than what we got in the show. She can stay a bit skinnier than the rest of the cast, but make her shorter. I picture her short.

- Vaggie could have a bit of muscle. As much as I don't really like overly buff women ( no hate, I just don't really like that style of design), she could have had a slight bit of muscle instead of being a twig.

- Husk NEEDED a beer belly. I swear. WHY TWINKIFY THE 70 YEAR OLD MAN BEHIND THE BAR COUNTER-

- Angel is the only one I like being tall and twinkified. It fits his character and his vibe.

- Alastor could have used a bit more deer-lile features, like an ALWAYS VISIBLE tail, or bigger horns when he's not in his full demon form. Also, deer legs and hooves.

- Niffty could have been more bug-like. With antennae and shit. I want to see that.

- Pentious is the only one I find 'okay.' he's just...there. he's okay.

- Lucifer needed to have a hat too big for his head. That's all I'm saying.

Why twinkify the characters? And WHY SO MUCH GODDAMN RED?! I get it, it's hell. But other colors are good too, y'know. Red fits on characters with red accents, like Husk, but Alastor is literally a red man. That's it.

(Out of gifs, here's my art instead)

7: ALASTOR'S SEXUALITY

We finally get aroace rep, and they all want to suck his dick. I'm not even kidding. It's scary.

Okay, simp for who you'd like. You aren't alone in simping for characters, (cough, cough, Vox-)

But please respect their boundaries! I saw a tiktok about radioapple, and I nearly chucked my phone across the room. It was like

Slide 1: Radioapple? (With a picture of Lucifer and Alastor cuddling cutely and Alastor blushing like crazy)

Slide 2: Or

Slide 3: Radioapple~ (cue a seductive picture of Alastor choking the shit out of Lucifer and him being turned on by it.)

Not even kidding. It's gross. Ship who you want, I get it, but BOUNDARIES PEOPLE.

Write smut, if you want, but please make it clear that you are just writing that because you wanted to, not because you ship them that way.

I just feel like every time I see aroace or ace rep in shows, it's always going downhill and they end up simping for them.

WHEN I SAY I SHIP RADIOAPPLE, I MEAN THE CUTE CUDDLY SHIT NOT THAT OTHER STUFF-

Anyways, I'm done my Yap. My hands hurt and I have a cramp now.

I just wanted to Yap to someone. Please let me. If you got to the end and read everything, in order, here's a cookie:

🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

Your welcome.

Bye bye now.

(Ps, I was in an art store and they had a table in the middle with art supplies out for people to draw on the table with because it had paper on it, and guess who I saw??)

(Its such good art too!!!)