So I think I may have had some sort of mental breakdown. At 10:30pm, I just started crying and couldn't stop for probably thirty minutes. Here are the reasons why:

1. I feel super lonely (even though I know I have my friends and family)

2. I'm extremely stressed over lots of different things

3. I think I might have some kind of anxiety (I worry over the little things to much — imagine the big things — to a point where I lose my appetite ((yet I still eat because my family makes me, which makes me feel like I'm going to throw up)) and sometimes when I forget about some things, I even ask myself "what the heck was I just worrying about?")

4. Because of the parentheses parts in reason three, I feel overweight

5. I'm socially awkward now (unless it's online)

6. I'm not confident enough to speak my mind or my feelings (especially when I'm around anyone other than my siblings. Writing this right now is hard.)

7. I lack the bravery to do anything (including just talking) in front of a lot of people

So ... yeah. That's why. And I think the breakdown has done a number on me. I don't know what to feel. Literally. My body can't decide on an emotion, so all I'm feeling right now is...

Well, nothing.

*sarcastically* I love my life.

Sis, and any other real life friends and/or family who are reading this, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about these reasons earlier. (Sis, especially when you asked if I was okay last night.) I just couldn't find the confidence (reason 6).