"I can get really high, really quickly.

Wait..

Oh no that sounds so strange out of context"
-Me

"Yay i'm a spade."
-Me

"c h a o s"
-Me

My mum - "Oh, my son is wonderful, can't say a single bad thing about him."

My brother in the background - "YOU BASTARD CAT, STOP IT!"

My mum - Quickly mutes her call. 

"A naked woman just came up behind me and stole my hairband!"
-me