I don't know if this will work but:

SPIDER ALFRED.
SPIDER ALFRED.
GOES AROUND SCARING THE SHOOT OUT OF ARTIE.
CAN HE SWING?
FROM A WEB?
COURSE HE CAN!
HE'S ALFRED!
LOOK OUUUUUUUT ARITE HE'S BACK AGAINNNNNNN!

I TRIED GUYS OKAY? XD