I launch through the door, excited to tell him my big news. My eyes fly towards the bed, where his figure pops out among the covers, but there is no figure today, the bed nice and neat, almost like it was just cleaned. I feel my smile start to falter, but then maybe he's gotten better and has just gone for a walk. I see Mary corner, dusting the shelves, I clear my throat and she turns around, "Where is he?"

Mary looks with sadness in her eye, watching as my smile disappears, "my lady..."

I shake my head, I don't want her sympathy, "tell me."

She simply shakes her head and looks down, she need not to say more, I already know. I see her start towards me, but I shut and walk away, I can't be there, the feeling of nothing. An empty room that is not supposed to be empty.

I don't realize I'm outside till I feel the frigid air hit me, that's when I blink and look around. I watch snow fall down, making everything tinted i white, making everything so beautiful. The horses tails flick, the bunnies all huddle up, the birds looking like little puff balls. My mind can't help but think, how can it be such a beautiful winter day and still have him taken away from me. That's the tear slip, the only I will shed, I fall to my knees and hold my chest. I feel it get tighter and tighter, till it feels like breath, I know its grief but why must it feel this way.

I stay in the snow till Mary comes and drags me back inside, the feeling never leaving, I smile though, remember going to tell him, knowing he would smile right back.